shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

Sloane nodded. "That's what I'm hoping. Jump window....I guess that'd be an accurate term."

Sloane looked at him. "Well, what's the original idea behind democracy? I think the starting question is whether it's ever even really possible. Then you can try and figure out if it's ever really been tried, and if it hasn't been, how one would go about trying it. ....is there a term for 'rich old families control everything'? 'Cause that's the system that my world seems to have had in my society, back before our genocidal overlord decided he wanted to control everything."

 

Ford blinks. "Oh G-d. That's where I'd seen you before. Just a glimpse. And I thought I was losing my mind at the time anyway. Mostly because I was."

 

Okay, that's not true. You can say that, it's just a lie. And as we all know, every Scanner is scrupulously honest at all times.

 

Sloane laughed. "Phones aren't exactly big with wizardkind. And even if they were, mine wouldn't be bugged; my parents are big supporters of The Dark Lord, and as far as most people are aware, so am I...." A shadow crossed her face. "I'm an outcast for other reasons. As far as everyone back home is aware, I'm all for genocide of non-purebloods." She sighed. "But anyway....you could easily put something on my phone if you want to, I won't get in trouble. As far as I know, though, all current Time-Turners that exist are restricted to one hour; I think it's because of the charm they put on them. But where there exists a certain type of charm, there must exist a more powerful version of it....and if there isn't one, you can make one. Magic's all about invention, or so Alex always says. If there are Time-Turners without that restriction, they'd be hard to get my hands on....but not impossible."

 

"Philosophically, the original idea was 'everyone gets a vote', but in Athens, which is where it all started, only wealthy men were really considered people. So it was basically a system in which wealthy families still controlled everything, but they had to vote on it instead of one family pushing their platform on everyone else." Ford sighs. "My wife's people have a system of extended families. At its core, you need only a mother and her children to create a pride, but in actuality, most prides are larger than that and have business concerns and the like. So there is a council of queens--of matriarchs, whose sisters and brothers and bondmates and children and nieces and nephews and cousins consider them the family leader. Essentially that is also the same type of system, but it seems to run a little bit better. They would have you think that it's because they're all women, but I think it might be because they're all cats."

Ford shrugs. "History isn't my best subject--I don't even have a master's degree in it--but I have participated in more of it than anyone should have to. I don't know if there's ever been a truly democratic culture, and my worry is that the reason we don't know if one has ever existed is that they get subverted, subsumed or conquered in fairly short order by more aggressive societies."

 

Mabel grins. "I'll be happy to put them on your phone. Along with any number of fanfics, which may or may not be accurate, but could give you more ideas. How do you want me to do this? Email? They're a little big for a text message. Dipper hacked them out of our Kindle accounts and made them PDFs. Can your phone do PDFs or is it called something else where you're from?"

 

"....I feel like personal biases would prevent the 'everyone' part of 'everyone gets a vote', if only because there's probably going to be someone who the founders of the system don't consider people," Sloane said with a sigh. "Your wife's people's system sounds....interesting, if not necessarily one I could go along with. And I mean....I guess the original aim when the wizarding world where I live first tried to make a government was probably democracy. It got eaten in short order by the rich pureblood families, and then that got subsumed by the guy who leads us now. ....your wife's people are cats?"

"I mean, I assume it can do PDFs? If it can't, my laptop can probably open them, so....email them to me, I guess." Sloane paused and then said, "It's remarkable that Volde--ahem, The Dark Lord didn't consider the internet when he took over. I mean, sure, certain things are blocked, but we've still got email and it's not exactly monitored....I'm not sure he even understands technology. Not a lot of the wizarding world does....Alex taught me most of what I know about it."

 

Valiska waves at Sloane. She has little fangs, yes--but she also has mobile pointy ears with fur on them and little whiskery hairs that stick out of her eyebrows, and the shape of her head is a little not-human. She seems to be missing claws, but there might be something weird about her knees and ankles, too. "I'm Valiska Pines. I'm a Talassani. The Terranaani call us 'cattes'." She pronounces both syllables. "It's considered a slur on the homeworlds, Sireni and ai-Talas--but on Pennarion we call ourselves that half the time."

 

"Oh." Sloane considered this. "I guess the catpeople thing makes more sense than my initial assumption. Cool."

 

"Give me your email address!" Mabel grins. "It sounds like the internet might be your best bet for organising the resistance. I also bet that's how the Muggles, or what's left of them anyway, are surviving. If you can get them to trust you, you might be able to cooperate. Magic is great but technology is also awesome! Even if I mostly use it to make clothes that light up."

 

Valiska cocks her head to one side. "Initial assumption? You asked if I was ill, yes?"

 

Spoiler: the memebird returns

 

"Clothes that light up, huh? Sounds pretty cool." Sloane offered Mabel a smile, and then wished herself a pencil and a piece of paper. Taking them, she scribbled her email on the paper and held it out to Mabel. "There you go...although will this work across dimensions?"

"I mean....yes, I asked if you were okay, but that was more because you looked worried. My, um, initial assumption of what you were was that....well, okay, so there aren't really many creatures that have fangs where I'm from but are also humanoid, so I....kind of assumed you were a vampire," Sloane admitted, a little sheepishly.

 

Mabel sends the email. "It should, as long as I route it through the thing I'm not supposed to know about." She winks at Ford, who just laughs, and sends the email. "You have to take the wires out before you wash your clothes, but it's fun. I have blinky sweaters, a menorah and also a Christmas tree because we were 'ecumenical' for a while when I was little, which I liked because I got a lot of presents."

((Up to you whether it sticks on her phone in her own world of course or even goes through, but the Pines family has developed a system for this sort of thing because the ones in Weirdmageddon Tango get around.))

 

"All right, cool. Thanks. And your sweaters sound awesome," Sloane told her. "I bet Alex could figure out how to make things like those, she's great with technology and stuff like that. I'm kinda....not, but I try."

 

Dude antagonized someone. Was assuming he was prepared for the echo even if it came from speakers across the room.

Got it in one!

Sup Ven

 

"Oh dear." Valiska smiles. "That's not the worst assumption though. There was that stupid dimension where all the women who looked like me were some sort of...sexy maid creature. That said 'nya' a lot, and made this dumb hand gesture--" which she demonstrates-- "which anyone with a lick of sense would know is only for kits batting at strings."

 

ちょっと、それは公平ではない、私は6に見えるかもしれないが、私は間違いなく大人だ。

 

"Oh. Sounds....weird? Kinda dehumanizing for the catpeople who live there, probably? Both of those, I guess. But....yeah. I hadn't really seen anyone with fangs who wasn't a vampire, so I just kinda figured you were some....variant on the typical vampire. But yeah, kinda nice to know you aren't."