shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

(Sloane blushes more, but it fades a bit as she thinks back to the last issue of Game Grub she remembers being out.) I -/hink -/he most recen-/ is....well, we ge-/ abou-/ -wen-/y four issues per sweep, and -/hey've been around for about -/hir-/y sweeps on my plane-/, so we were on volume -/hir-/y, issue fif-/een, las-/ i checked. Wha-/ abou-/ you?

 

(Oh hey, another flyer! They look... a bit on the smallish side.)
Hey there!

 

(Aricia raises an eyebrow. Okay, she's a rustblood, but she's wearing hella expensive clothing, she appears to have an assistant or something, and she talks about having guards. Either she's delusional, or she's somehow very important despite being a rustblood....she doesn't appear to have any real reason for being culled, but that doesn't necessarily mean she wasn't adopted by a highblood and coddled excessively by them. Of course, that means she probably doesn't want to offend this troll, because then she might in turn offend the rustblood's adoptive highblood, and that could be bad depending on just how high up the caste system they are. Of course, with the attitude this rustblood just pulled out, maybe she could stand to be knocked down a peg or two--but better to reserve judgment on that one. ....but that doesn't mean Aricia's about to comply with her demanding nature, and she's certainly not offering her name first.)

first off, you're not exactly in troll kansas anymore, if you hadn't noticeD. second, i have no clue who inefaK is, and there are most definitely not any guards arounD. i am here for personal reasons that i really don't need to explain to a rustblooD. so, i reiterate: who are yoU? ....and who do you live with, anywaY? you look pretty well-taken care of, but otherwise you don't seem all that different from a normal rustblooD....

 

(reed stands up from the bar, stretches, salutes Vulcan and Sloane, and casually meanders after Aricia)

 

[This troll is here for reasons that she "doesn't need to explain to a rustblood?" Okay, that's. Unexpected. Technically, yes, that's your bloodcolor, but even the irrepressibly irreverent criminal bluebloods you've had the (mis?)fortune of chatting with refer to you as a 'godblood,' sarcastic-reverence and all. And it's not exactly rocket science to identify one of two rust-blooded trolls alive in your cohort, especially since you're different genders. You answer this troll's questions in a slow, mildly irritated tone.]

I live with my moirail and my auspistice. I would hope I look 'well taken care of.' [She makes actual air quotes at this.] And you really can't be serious. Where are you from, if you can't even figure out who I am?

 

*He snaps out of the fugue he'd gone into, and seeing that troll Sloane is pretty occupied, meanders off to bother someone else. It's not like her palms are going anywhere.*

 

(Wow. Talk about some serious attitude. Aricia almost wants to say 'fuck it', but....if this rustblood's adoptive highblood is her moirail, which seems a likely option, then she probably doesn't want to piss off the rustblood and thus inadvertently piss off the highblood, however annoying and entitled she may be.)

beforus, duH. and by the by, i'm not an idiot just because i don't know who you are--it's not like there aren't hundreds of rustbloods around, how the heck am i supposed to know of one specific singular rustblooD? jeeZ. even if you do live with some super-important troll, that's still not exactly a reason for me to know yoU. unless you live with the empress, i guess, but even then, i mean, she culls so many trolls that it's hard to keep track sometimeS.

 

-Lacuna beams.-

You're so well co-ordinated!

 

[One: you have never, ever heard of a region or location named 'Beforus.'

Two: hundreds of rustbloods?

Three: even with your extensive Court training, it's hard to keep from smiling slightly at 'live with some super-important troll.' When she gets to 'Empress,' you do laugh, briefly, despite yourself. (Of course the Sitting Empress culls lots of trolls. She's a bitter, selfish bitch, and you will do a much better job of actually leading when you Ascend. But you are not and will never be her plaything, no matter how many power plays she and her cohort run on you and yours.)

But foremost, your overriding question is:]

What is going on, and where are we?

 

(Skyfall is utterly sincere.)
Thank you, dear, I do try. You're pretty as well. Are you here to drink, or just to bask in my radiance?

 

IT'S LIKE A PARTY DIMENSION BETWEEN PLACES. MOST PEOPLE WHO COME HERE LIKE TOTES DREAM AND STUFF.
[She flutters her fins.]
I LOVE YOUR DRESS AND JEWELRY BY THE WAY! SUPER CUTE!

 

Well shit, if I had to guess either You are one prettY earlY Beforan, or Game Grub went through pubslasher changes that resulted in the serialization getting reset.
Uh, how long ago did A MentallY Ill SliterarY Agent Thinks He has the Rainbowdrinker's Kiss and has Become a Rainbowdrinker Except He's not ActuallY a Rainbowdrinker come out?
That one really fucking old movie starring Troll Nic Cage.

 

Youre either dead or dreaming or possibly dead and dreaming. Welcome to the club.

*Someone new to annoy!*

 

hmmM. you know, that's a great question, but unfortunately for both of us i have no idea what the answer to either of those questions iS.

oh, well, there you gO.

 

Thank you. I've had ah, abnormal dreams before, but not ever anything quite like... this.

[You hope you aren't dead. It's always bothered you that your defenses are, by nature, down when you sleep. But you really think security would have done its job and gotten you and your family out long before anyone could get to you. You'll assume you're dreaming unless you have evidence otherwise.

As for dimensions... you've read some science fiction, although you've had less time for superficial reading as you got older. You look at the elegantly dressed fishtroll, and back around what you thought were robotics experiments but seem to... be actually talking and interacting giant robotic people... and hazard a guess.]

So you're all... from some alternative universe where the Sea-Witch won, then?

 

NOPE!

 

WHAT'S A SEA WITCH? I'M FROM LIKE ALTERNIA AND STUFF, BUT I CURRENTLY LIVE ON PENNARION.
ANYWAY, MY MANNERS ARE LIKE SO ATROCIOUS! PRINCESS LORELI RHEINS É PINES, VIOLETBLOOD, LYRA!
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

 

What, youre phrom one where she didnt? Phucking wild I dont think anyones even tried to kill her in centuries. Pretty sure the Bephorans are phrom a diphpherent version though, not the one Im phrom.

 

Hmmm, -/ha-/ one's pre-/-/y old on my beforus--game grub got i-/'s serializa-/ion rese-/. I -/hink one of our mos-/ recen-/ films--like, super super recen-/--was 'a young -/roll has smaller -/rolls in her head who con-/rol her emo-/ions and ac-/ions and -/he fuchsiablood and rus-/blood ge-/ los-/ inside -/he young -/roll's mind'.

 

not me either, i've never heard of a sea witch. is she hot? hah.