shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

Seconding that question!

 

"They still treat people like shit based on blood colour there," Paz says. "You're talking to the same blue that was harassing the shit out of someone just because they had lime coloured blood. Pennarion's better. We let everyone be subjects of the Imperium with the same rights. We save extinct species. We got to pick our guardians."

 

...because we are born obviously touched with the blood of Heat and Clockwork? [You are puzzled. But then, the idea of everyone pinned under maniacal seadweller rule sounds kind of horrifying to you... even if this Loreli seems quite different, the stories they're telling about her Empress aren't.] I'm not the current Empress, though - the Empress-in-Waiting, for another sweep and a half.

That's fascinating. If I remember enough of this when I wake, I'll take notes.

((No worries about brain, it's just exceedingly in character for Catriv to be curious about this.))

You keep the same Empress for centuries? No wonder things go so wrong... no, we duel at each Ascension, every ten sweeps. Usually the heiress wins - the Sitting Empress is at an age disadvantage, at that point. Occasionally an Empress holds the seat for two cohorts, but it's rare, and she's usually too weak to even be a challenge to the next Empress-in-Waiting.

And I... am godblooded? I'm sorry, I don't know what your faith system is like, but it must be different.

 

Wait you let wigglers pick their lusii. Hows that supposed to work out? What iph all the wigglers want the prettiest one what do you do then?

 

CONSTANT DEATH WITH A SIDE OF MURDER AND BEING PUSHED INTO THE MILITARY TO GENOCIDE A FEW ALIENS.

TO BE HONEST I'LL TAKE "PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE SOUL CRUSHING" CASTEISM OVER "CONSTANT HELLMURDER DEATHPIT BATTLE ROYAL" CASTEISM IF FORCED TO CHOOSE.
LIKE SURE, PENNARION'S A LOT BETTER THAN EITHER BUT LIKE. I STILL DON'T ACTUALLY WANNA HAVE MY KILL COUNT, Y'KNOW.

 

OH LIKE... I'M PROBABLY NOT THE BEST TO ASK I'M A TERRIBLE HERETIC AND ALL!

 

Try more like "phorever". I dont think she usually lets the heiresses live to ascension iph she can, but I guess more oph them slip through the cracks than I realized? Shes dephinitely been ruling phor thousands oph years though.

How do you even keep the Empire stable iph your changing rulers every ten years? That sounds phuckign incredible. Do you not use helmsmen?

 

Her Imperious Condescention has been ruling ever since Alternian memory and written history, about twenty-two thousand sweeps. Her heiresses die upon Ascension at the latest, usually earlier to assassinations. Only those who can move the loyalty of their shared lusus have a go at actually challenging her.
(Oneira summons a crate full of pictures of Peixes girls)
I got a picture collection of heiresses, about five hundred, each with hatchdate, culldate, and way of death.

 

oh yeah, that's a good questioN

(Aricia begins asking @Catriv Striki questions.)

other questioN

what are cohortS

and what's your place like in terms of like, rules and shiT

what's the ruling empress likE

oh and what does the corvuS part of your introduction mean anywaY

it didn't sound like part of your namE

i mean that's just because that's how limebloods are treated therE

every troll has their job based on their blood coloR

highbloods cull lowbloods who can't fend for themselves, adopt the lowbloods and coddle the fuck out of them and shit like thaT

all trolls do their social jobs so that society functions as it shoulD

limebloods being quadrant fillers is just part of how our society functionS

it's necessarY

but it's not like being a rustblood dooms you to a horrible existence or anythinG

then why do you have an empress titlE

also what's the land of heat and clockworK

never heard of iT

and we don't really have faith systems on beforuS

 

Uh holy phuck how much phor copies oph all oph them because I bet you could do some wicked divination with that.

That sounds like bullshit and youre still a terrible person.

 

Paz laughs. "No, we came to Pennarion as refugees and were still under age so we got to choose our guardians from among the adults we knew there. We don't have lusii. We get born from our parents like, well, I guess lusii do. But, if your parents treat you badly, you can leave and choose another guardian. I learned that in my schoolfeeds."

"Yeah, that I get," says Paz. "I don't mind killing demons, but I'd rather not have to kill people."

 

I guess that makes more sense. Not a whole lot oph sense because it sounds pretty dumb, but more sense than letting the wigglers pick whichever lusus they want.

 

[Your smile brightens. Heretics against their world sound interesting.] No, now I'm really curious.

Through tradition? And what are helmsmen?

[You examine the pictures with interest: row after row of girls. The culldates and ways of death are starting to make your psi stir, though, so you look away relatively quickly.] That's... I can see that happening. [You shiver, and turn your focus to other questions.]

Cohorts are the generations of our people? Like, each hatching every ten sweeps forms a cohort. I'd like to think our rules are fair, but I've been uncovering more and more corruption and manipulation by the Second Cohort in planetary affairs, and I'm sadly learning how much fair rules count for in practice. [You make a face, and unconsciously start fiddling with your wooden ring.]

The ruling empress is... bitter. Self-absorbed. Not very pleasant to be around, so I'm glad I only have to see her once a sweep.

Corvus is my sign. And Heat and Clockwork isn't a land... he's one of the Quinity, the Five Divines. [You seem utterly perplexed by this.]

 

"Surprisingly," says Paz, "it isn't actually necessary at all, and it's also kind of dumb. Blood colour may incline you in certain directions more than others--like, purple bloods are better fighters because they're stronger and harder to kill--but individual people have different strengths and weaknesses and should be allowed to do what they're good at no matter what colour their blood is. Also, forcing people into prostitution is never okay."

 

Depends on how well they copy here, I guess. In the waking world, I would flip you off and laugh in your face because even though I never managed to get a full collection, some of these are really, really old and were really difficult to get.
But I like learning new stuff so if you can like, teach me some crafts or songs or stories, I'd be up for leaving them to you here.

 

AH, I'M AFRAID IT WON'T MAKE MUCH SENSE OUT OF CONTEXT!
I RELIGIOUSLY FOLLOW THE TEACHINGS OF TWO HISTORICAL FIGURES THAT LIKE... WERE HUSHED UP KINDA.
THE ONE I LOOK TO FOR PERSONAL GUIDANCE IS THE SUMMONER, HE ATTEMPTED A BLOODY REVOLUTION TO LIKE LEVEL THE HEMOSPECTRUM AND MAKE EVERYONE EQUAL, BASED ON THE TEACHINGS OF THE SIGNLESS SUFFERER BEFORE HIM WHO WAS TRYING TO DO THE SAME BUT BY PREACHING AND TALKING, NOT BY KILLING PEOPLE IN RIOTS, SINCE HE WAS LIKE ALL FOR THE NONVIOLENT APPROACH AND A NON VIOLENT SOCIETY AND SHIT.

 

oh, okaY

(Aricia does not comment on 'fair rules'.)

damn, your empress sounds not great as a persoN

oh, like a zodiac sigN? and i don't know what a divine iS

(Aricia doesn't really respond to this, but she clearly registers it.)

 

Uhhhhh phuck I didnt think this line of logic through. So iph youre not a lowblood... phuck it, well stick with warmblood phor now. You know how a lot oph warmbloods have psionics even iph most oph us arent superpowerphul when we arent hooked up to some kind oph enhancer?

Well it turns out that iph you hook us up to the electricals in a spaceship and turn us into an engine it works out pretty well except phor the poor phucker in question.

I could teach you how to read cards maybe? Theyre usually the easiest to pick out patterns in so theyre the fanciest ones to phall back on iph someone asks you phor a reading and you arent sure what to give them.

 

[You are beaming.] The Summonner... bronzeblooded, sign Taurus, pupated with wings? Because if our worlds named the same troll with the same title, he helped found our Empire, and was the first Grand Premier. It's cool to know he still tried in your world.

 

[Flat smile.] She's really not. And I was talking about our gods. There's five of them... you don't have religions on your world so much?

[It takes a moment to sink in, but then you're horrified.] You do what to your Shipwrights? Ours lead the fleets that they help fly! What- I- [You force yourself to take some deep breaths and calm down.]