shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

U TAKE THAT BACK IM MARRIED AND SOUL BONDED TO ALL MY FAVES

 

"I'm not sure exactly how long a year is in troll," says Paz, "but we're only six sweeps right now."

 

FUCK YOUR CARTOON HOTDOG HUSBANDS

 

"You say that like it's a good thing." Paz rolls her eyes. "Poly is great but that soulbonding thing is kind of excessive, you know?"

 

I DO WHAT I WANT

* but with a higher voice and more apropriate lyrics im lazy*

 

So youre like barely out of wigglerhood? Gross.

 

I AM A MILLION TIMES BETTER A NAVY SEAL THAN YOU ARE!

*sings the song a million times louder than she did*

*shits out a seal holding a nuclear bomb*

*the bomb slips out of the seal's flippers onto Mary Sue*

 

That's quite the story. I'd offer you a handkerchief, but you seem to be suitably distracted already.

I don't want to bring home bits of glass on my clothes - I'm hard enough on them as it is.

 

see that's why you put lacquer over the glass. (or metal or whateverthefrag you're using for glitter.)

...prooooobably easier with a paintjob than cloth tho

 

You might have a point there...

(Oneira makes the heart sign back)
Dunno, probably someone bland and horribly OOC.
Maybe An Esteemed Gentleman.

Half a sweep, thereabouts.

THEY ALL SUCK!

 

What the phuck. Why not just call it a halph-sweep then?

 

"Poly" I can work out from context, but I sincerely hope soulbonding isn't what it sounds like.

Yes, rather. My clothes are heavy as it is - it's colder than I'm used to, where I'm living now - and I feel lacquer would be just that much more weight.

 

Mabel frowns. "Why is it gross when we're all about the same age? Are you just jealous because I'm barely a teenager but have all my quadrants filled? Our clade is awesome."

 

Uh its gross because talking about romance to wigglers is phucking weird. Also not sure why youre trying to get into a pissing contest with me over quadrants though Im gonna chalk that up to you being 6.

 

"Sadly, you're probably not wrong," says Paz. "Polyamoury is dating or having committed relationships with more than one person, or if you're doing quadrants, with more than one person in each quadrant. Pretty much our entire household is poly, particularly if you consider doing quadrants to be poly, even though the individual relationship types are different. But soulbonding sounds like a gross thing to do with a whole bunch of people. Like, what if they don't get along?"

She shrugs. "I think that the Doctors Pines have some kind of soulbonding thing going on. But that's appropriate for them. They're all grownups and two of the three of them have been together forever, or twenty five years anyway. But they just want to make sure that they don't get separated forever if one of them dies. I would think you could relate to that one."

 

"Whatever," says Paz. "You don't have to discuss romance with us, you're not part of our clade. But I think it's funny that suddenly everything's gross now that you know how old we are. We're the youngest in our clade I think, but nobody in our clade is more than a sweep or so older, and you've been talking to Oneira, Loreli, Chroma, Dipper, me, Mabel, Clover and Static for a while now. I think that's most of us. Kelly and Teleny don't come here much. So suck it up, you've been gross the whole time. Maybe we're mature for our age, but alternatively, maybe you're just doing the thing where people who are almost or just barely adults suddenly look down on younger teenagers like we're a lower form of life."

 

Oh my god how are you all that young what the phuck? Who let this happen.

 

Mabel shrugs. "Because I didn't know what a sweep was until I met trolls, and I've been calling it a year my whole life? Which admittedly is not long, but that's what it's called on Pennarion too."

 

Yeah but why are you only twelve of those? When did that happen. Why. Who phucking allowed that to happen.

 

"We're thirteen," says Mabel. "A sweep is a little bit more than two years." She rolls her eyes. "Just because we're not old enough for...buckets," she decides, mostly because it isn't a word she has always been embarrassed about, "doesn't mean we aren't old enough for feelings. And kissing."