shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

[Optics flash and narrow]
Explain that statement to my satisfaction or I'm gonna shot you.

[He steps on him. Needa keep the gun close by for shooting threats to have some substance to them]
What's your specs in case I need to shoot someone for saying awful forbidden things I didn't allow?

 

I shoot energy projectiles to a distance of approximately fifteen miles and my scope can zoom in to a distance of three miles, but my outlier ability lets me locate and fire upon any individual within range despite obstacles obstructing me.

[He waves a claw vaguely.]

Sempai. <3

 

[He looks down at Scope with a sort of 'Oh slag' expression. What is it with him and fragging gunformers.]
What the slag does that even mean you glitch?

 

Do I look like a slagging dictionary to you sempai?

 

By Cloudcrusher. Ish.

 

You're awful and I hate you.
[He somehow manages to make the stepping on seem more like petting]

Ew. Just because you're master's new pet project don't make you my owner get lost.

 

Oh no whatever will I do without your tender love cupping me sweetly in your spark sempai.

[This is fine.]

 

I dunno, probably the same as you did before.
[pet pet pet]

 

I wouldn't want to be.

...I'm not a pet project.

 

Keep telling yourself that.

 

-She flares her wings out, stomping a foot.-

I'm not! He actually likes me! He just tolerates you because he has to, you damn leech!

 

Wow you're not even going to offer suggestions. You cad. You monster.

[Contented optic shuttering. Pets are... good.]

Aww it's okay I think your murderous urges are cute.

 

You say that like it's news to me. I'm aware no one has actually ever liked me in my entire damn life. Try again.

 

No, you just abandoned the only person who liked you.

 

Ooo are we doing compliments now? You assortment of sharp angles. You deplorable awful fiend.

 

[A very sad and tired look in his optics quickly gets trampled down. NO EMOTIONS ONLY SALT]
If you are talking about Sweep, that's actually wrong, he doesn't like me back.

 

-She looks smug.-

Not anymore.

 

Eh, he never actually liked me either. As I said, I'm pretty aware that people only tolerate me because they are a) responsible for me somehow, b) forced to work with me, or c) literally built as backup for me AND forced to hang out with no other options for social stimulus.
As I said, if you want to slag me off try to angle for literally anything but my inherent inability to get positive attention.

 

-She taps her lips thoughtfully.-

So you're confessing you never really liked him either?

 

Nah, I love him, I'm just resigned to the fact taht no one loves garbage back.