shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

theres alvways more people.

people are a disgustingly endless stream. they nevwer end.

 

"Yes," says Valiska. "So far, none from your dimension that we know of...I'm sorry, I will tell you if we learn of any."

She makes a rude noise in Dualscar's general direction. Of course there are always more people. More people are good.

 

Of course. And I hope nobody expects you to take everyone in! You said yourself there are safehouses. -she nods decisively; her own queen has an unfortunate tendency to try and take care of everyone all the time forever and needs regular reminders that she doesn't have to-

 

"I'm #1", Hana yells over the comm channel as the enemy falls. She uses the mech's rockets to charge an enemy but there were others lying in wait; she flicks off the mic to curse without being heard and then back on, as her guns chatter to keep the enemy's heads down. Too late; one giant Omnic throws a punch which connects with the mech and they're flying, tumbling through the air. The rockets are spent and need to cool and replenish before being used again; she keeps the shield up to eat the enemy's shots as she frantically looks around for a way out. Finding none, she yells and closes her eyes and presses every single button she can find and there's suddenly silence.

Opening her eyes wide, she sees that she's no longer in combat. It's indoors, it seems. Her mech smokes gently from the abuse and overheating, but it's sitting on a solid floor. Somehow they escaped. But to where? There are people around, at any rate.
"Hello?" she says over the mech's loudspeakers.

 

-she'd been running from something. was hard to remember what. whatever it was she had run from it though and then she fell off a kriffing cliff and hit her head. helmets can only do so much. she is up though again. on her feet. looking back for whatever this thing was. a droid. yes. A Very Unfriendly Droid. one that loomed. one that smoked.-

-one that said hello but not before the blaster is out. a trusty if old WESTAR pistol. she's pulled off one of the daggers from her armor too. people say it's stupid to go after a combat droid with a knife but stupid decisions are what she is made of.-

 

"Hold it right there, scrub!" Hana calls. "Time out! Fight's over!" She turns on the cockpit lights so that they can see her face, and when they're on she waves. "Hi!"

 

"I'm not a bush, I'm a Mando," she says because that is obviously the thing to be concerned about here. Being perplexed over being called a plant. It's definitely not a droid on second look. Has a distinct feel in the Force, something droids entirely lack. The face under the lights in the middle of this metal monster confirms that fact. The blaster is lowered. "Hi. You're a bit...enthusiastic?"

 

Hana wonders why this strange armored person in white is so insistent on not being a bush, but it sounds boring so she leaves it be.

"I was taping this," Hana points out. "My audience wants to see D.Va, and D.Va they shall get! Korean army using my videos for recruiting ..."

She pulls the handle to eject her from the mech and lands perfectly behind. "Pleased to meet you. I'm Hana Song, but my audience knows me as D.Va." She extends an hand toward the person in white.

 

"Uh. Huh."

This continues to explain very little. The question remains: why are we a bush? One that doesn't seem like it is going to be answered. Perhaps a thing to ask about later. "They use holovids for military recruitment where you're from?" she asks instead because that is more likely to get an answer. Recruitment videos continue to be odd to her. There is simply no necessity among Mandalorians.

The kal is magnetized back to the plate on her thigh and she takes off her helmet. That is polite around the aruetiise. Generally. She takes the hand and gives it a firm squeeze. "Certainly an interesting meeting, to be sure. Jamethiel Talissen, or Jame for short. My 'audience' knows me as YOU or That Kriffing Mandalorian."

Audience is a weird word to use for a soldier.

 

You blink. "I remember that happening by virtue of Ma'Janafa being one of the biggest gossips at Highsword's Forge...", and that's as far as you're going to pry in that direction because you're not really interested in other people's love lives, and especially not if queen Valiska is using that word. "That must've been a damn hassle. But I'm glad to hear the worst is over?"
You pour tea, also for Nilima.
"...Also I'm very barely keeping myself from asking so many questions about the Tempter part, because there's only so much I can get from the books."

You feel a bit silly, having somehow missed it.

"I haven't heard of any, but that means nothing. I'll relay the information to my pride as well, once I wake up."

 

"Is there anyone at Highsword's Forge who's not a gossip? Estevan thought Ford was mad for wanting to take the old vows, and his mother pressed me sore that I'd told him everything, and that I wasn't trying to take advantage of his ignorance, bless her for that." Valiska laughs softly and sips her tea. "This is lovely." After a moment, she sighs. "There's not a lot written down about the daughters--and sons, and otherwise--of Madi'Emreiallis, is there? Daughter of Death and Dreams, she's got secrets on secrets, and with the Tisselen to speak for Her...well! I'm only a minor initiate. You know we're all reclaimed Jalanenhal, or their partners, I'm sure that much is clear from the books. I have never actually met Madi'Emrrhis, only the Tisselen. That's the one you want to talk to, but good luck understanding them!"

 

[While D.Va is talking to the other organic, Whisper fusses over the distressingly-unresponsive mech she arrived with. In. Whatever.] Are you alright? That battle damage doesn't look comfortable, I'm sure we can find you a medic!!! Would you like some coolant? Some nanite gel to tide you over til someone can turn your pain sensors off? Your human friend is fine, you're safe here, it's okay!!

 

?_?
[He is also inspecting the MEKA, but with a great deal less cooing attempts at care. How does it work. Can he make one for himself.]

 

[A twiggy humanoid, 90% legs by volume, smooshes his face against the plating of d.Va's mech suddenly. Where did he come from? Who knows. His "hair" pulses in time to unheard music, emitting green light.]
Fucker can't talk back, don't bother waitin' for an answer. He's hurt a lot though.
[Long fingers tap against plating. The multitool-claw that he has instead of a second hand whirrs through a few options, apparently Scanner is unsure what to settle on.]

 

Yeah, but how does it WORK? Where's the power coming from? Is it electric or carbon-fuel based? These look like rocket thrusters so I'm leaning fuel based but I guess it could be nuclear?
?_?
!_!
?_?
[He starts poking at the thrusters in question. Reveal your secrets, MEKA. He doubts he's allowed to sledgehammer it to pieces and then put it back together.]

 

Dude, it's like. Super rude to ask someone what their power source is.
[... is he licking the plating?]

 

Have you considered fucking my ass?
9_9
[He sounds slightly distant and got a rivet gun from somewhere. Wrench water u doin.]

 

Oh, I'm sorry! Can you understand him, then? Is there anything I can do to help? Are you a medic?

...What are you going to do with that?

 

Pop the plating and take a look at the internals. I feel like this thing has to have a pretty complex wiring system if it's going to be even remotely worthwhile, BUT I'm guessing it's armored as shit for a reason, right?
?_?
^_^

 

Ain't got nothing to fuck anyone with, fam.

Er- nah I'm not a medic but poor dude's pinging all over the place, their error log isn't hard to find.

... Geez have you ever heard of romance? Buy a mech some flowers before popping them open you sicko.