shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

-looks at the remains of her beer. Closes her eyes and visualizes Otis's face. Nods, satisfied- Worth it.

 

What? I am not going to find a tree in my pockets when I look next am I?

-heihe is perplexed. even for a man with two sets of arms and five faces-

 

Not unless they're very dirty.

 

Then I'm finding myself especially perplexed.

 

They'll start to sprout if it goes bad. The seeds eat the fruit first, you have to plant them for a whole tree. The little sprouts are for eating little fears.

 

...ah. A whole tree would eat larger fears I am assuming?

-it is progressively sounding more and more like an office plants thing...-

 

Eventually.

-she takes a bite of the not-apple and smiles. It's a small smile, without teeth, but very red-

 

I see. Thank you again, Miss...We've not introduced ourselves yet have we.

Duke Prayers Bei Heihe, scribe and diviner.

-the fruit is going to be ignored. heihe does not eat. he is a tori-

 

Rayineen. Woods-witch.

 

Woods-witch? With that and this tree of yours you sound like a sure fit for Office Seeds. Obviously not though.

I am a Mystic by training.

-heihe's face count is down to one but his arm count is up to twelve-

 

This is a... place between places. It attracts different kinds.

-she tilts her head a little, thoughtfully-

Not a lot of men know magic in the border towns. Think they can out-stubborn the Forest.

 

Truly? Magic is simply a way of being in the Heaven's Seat. Sorcery is more refined, and it is harder to find those learned in it. There is still a deluge of those who know how to Work, however.

I'm not that impressive, honestly. Simply a man whose father made certain he had the best tutors. Certain that his son kept to his studies too. Very certain. A Daoshi recorder in Office Prayers can go far.

-this is not a good topic for him. dad is uncomfortable to say the least. his tone is very measured though and his face hardly shows a sign of the discomfort. the especially empathetic would pick up on it though-

 

Sorcery's more common in the lands of Men. The Woods object to structure. Have you ever seen a forest where the trees grow in lines?

-Distraction package coming up! The silver raven has noticed Heihe and flies over to investigate him for shinies-

Oh- -she manages to direct it onto her shoulder instead- Troublemaker! I should have eaten you.

 

-flinches in terror and surprise because oh god there are shinies on his head. many, many shinies.-

The trees grow in an order, though not lines. I can't tell you the logic behind how those in Seeds works though. It's about as orderly as every other department though. Not a tree grows without forms and petitions all up the line.

-swallows-

Your friend is very...Lively. Curious too.

 

In the Woods trees grow where they want to. It can be very troublesome, convincing them otherwise.

-the raven caws restlessly, and she offers it the rest of her fruit- It's a terror is what it is. -she does look a little pitying for a second, and not mad at all at it- It was something important once. Or someone. But it forgot its Name.

 

Heh. The grass is hardly greener here. Order's its own unique hell. The stack of papers on my desk is like gazing into the labyrinthine depths of Diyu itself. I can't imagine what it must be like to work in Office Winds and miss a storm. We all answer to the Jade Monarchs, but Office Winds has a rigid schedule to adhere to from them.

-he is smiling at the raven. yes it is noisy. yes it tried to eat his hat but it is charming in a way-

It's interesting to hear that a Beast used to be important. Pleasant, to be honest. Bodhis know I wouldn't get my work done without Maoci.

 

All the Woodfolk are beastly, in their way. The Asrunai have deer's antlers and lead hunters to their doom. They lead the gathering of twenty-one. The Dana-la can only be heard in sparrow song. The Woodfolk rule the Forests, and Man the Civilized Lands. Each their own gods. But Man doesn't know that. The Woodfolk do.

 

Your forests are run by Beasts then? Hah! What would Grimly say about that. Probably ask if I was drunk when I looked at one of the Akathaso.

Mortals are very aware of the structure of Heaven on my side of this apparent dimensional fence. As Above, So Below is the saying. Less romantically, it's impossible to perform an exorcism if you aren't aware of who you need to file the petitions to.

 

how do i do that.

 

i said NO.

*He has not considered the fact that all this yelling might upset the baby he's still holding.*