shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

Ikr her Disappointed Voice is the worst :<

P sure he's just trying to dump literally dirty money bruh
And also wants to see Bigot of Fragstickopolis get punched around some more but tbh so do I even if I promised Clips I wouldn't do it myself anymore

 

...the big fiery guy you jumped on?

 

(Eiffel makes a face.)

EIFFEL: Jeez, maybe you and Lovelace should hang out, you're both real experts at selectively applying your senses of humor. And, at paranoia, also. I'm kidding.

(Eiffel rubs his head.)

EIFFEL: The cap's macguyvered explosives already blew me most of the way to hell, I'm not eager to finish the job.

 

you could probably use these to put out fires tbh does that count

PLEASE U GOTTA

 

...Slag. Sorry man apparently I'm jumping the gun all over the place tonight. In my defense humans are kind of horror stories now after some of the scrap they pulled when the War hit their-- uh your?-- planet :P

 

every time you DONT punch one of the mackerel furries a kitten dies

save the kittens

 

MY GUY
I AM WEAK TO THE HUSBANDO'S TURBOPUP EYES
I CAN'T

 

What's a kitten and why should I care about them

 

isnt ur son a kitten

whose son is the kitten its one of yall

 

EIFFEL: Uh, I dunno, my Earth has cartoons about you guys. Gotta admit my nostalgia is fading fast.

 

Kitten son...? Who....? Both my kids are jets man that's what happens when you mix three jets together. [He shrugs.]

Star's another jet and also a bomb, Soundy's a manticore thing, I'm preeeeetty sure most of Jetski and Doc L's brood are standards of some sort... The bug kids? The fire kid?? What's a kitten dude help me out here

 

kitten

 

*His entire face lights up as it occurs to him that he can Make the Kitten Real.*

*TNFL is now covered in about twenty-something kittens.*

 

Ooooh, cute!

 

IM GOING TO BE COVERED IN TINY CLAW MARK SCARS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE BUT THIS IS THE BEST THING THATS EVER HAPPENED TO ANYONE IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE

 

EIFFEL: (voice high enough to break glass) Oh my god. Oh my god. Can I have a petition to let me have a cat in space? I'm dying of fuzzy animal deficiency. Get me a doctor. (flops) (.. muffled) Not ours, a different one.

 

Proooobably different universes then so uh. Sorry times two for jumping on ya. Our species is uh. Kinda technically banned from the Earth in ours because Reasons like "stop making our planet your battleground". Not that it stops the smugglers or Optimus Hand-damned Prime but yknow.

...Were they cool cartoons? We've got some sweet imports floating around but I don't think I've seen anything about the War yet...

Sweet Primus they're so???? Tiny????? They're like mis with real legs holy scrap we need to get some of these @Nichrome of Iacon can I have kittens??????

 

EIFFEL: (considering) Weeeell, they weren't good, but I was just a young warthog.

EIFFEL: Screw the commanding officers, we're having a KITTEN REVOLUTION.

 

GET YOUR OWN THESE ARE MINE

*Half of them have already toddled off. He cannot control all of them.*

 

Mi!