shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

-She grimaces.-

Do you like cooking?

 

...I don't cook at all, actually. Burr handles my meals.

 

Wanna make something with me?

 

I suppose? Though I worry I'll somehow set everything on fire. I'm good at that, you know.

 

So... maybe not something involving fire.

-She thinks.-

 

-jame grimaces-

I'm sure I'd find a way.

 

EIFFEL: (still recovering from laughing fit) You know, this still isn't the weirdest dream I've ever had, but... it's getting there!

EIFFEL: ...

EIFFEL: Wait, wait, wait, wait a second if we've gone full Matrix Online then I can --

(Eiffel summons a pizza. His eyes go starry like he's a Steven Universe character.)

EIFFEL: HELL. YES. Oh my god all my wishes are being granted. (He grabs a slice of pizza and moans with delight.) Cover your eyes, small children, this degree of carnal pleasure probably violates obscenity laws in twelve states.

 

How about macaroni and cheese?

 

I don't even know what that is. This either means I have less of a chance to ruin it. Or more of one. Not sure which!

We can do that, though.

 

Well, I can make the sauce and you can...

...boil the water?

 

Got it. I can observe you making the sauce as well? Or at least be told about it.

 

share

 

EIFFEL: (deadpan, while eating a slice of pizza) Never. Death to the kitten oppressors.

 

Yeah, of course!

-She sits down, cross-legged, and claps, and a short kitchen island appears at just the right height for Clover to work on it while sitting on the floor, as well as the ingrediants she needs.-

Wash your hands, Jame!

 

cmoooooon

*Holds up the fattest kitten.*

you wouldnt wanna disappoint mr sprinkles would u

 

mew

 

Ordering the Highlord? Cocky aren't you?

-hands are washed anyway-

-greshan is grumbling about how fucking stupid this is. if anything she should be making it for us. DAMN KIDS-

 

Okay, so, put water in that pot-

-She points.-

-up to about halfway, and put it on the stove here.

-She points.-

Turn the temp up to 3 and wait for it to boil, but add a little salt.

-She doesn't point at the salt.-

 

Which is the salt?

 

(This is the face of a tortured man. Ohh my god. Oh my god. Hold steady, Officer Eiffel.)

EIFFEL: Don't mess with me, Selina, that pizza would never make it to Mr. Sprinkles. How could you exploit him like this. He's not just a piece of meat, you know?