shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

I'd consider that common courtesy when you go pokin' somethin' that don't like to be poked - but I'm gettin' some 'leave me alone' signals so I'm backin' off.

 

"Fair enough!" He understood that feeling, at least, turning his attention to the knife once more. Even if it WERE a dreamspace, you could never be too careful.

"Doing great at that so far! Don't think I've caught your name, though?" He internally realizes that he in fact did not know the names of half the people he had talked to and made a mental note to ask them all later.

 

No, wait, uh...

 

Good to hear it. Ana Amari. And you are?

 

"Bill Cipher- Dimension S-411. Call me whatever you feel like!" He shrugs a little, kicking his feet absently in the water of the pool he was sitting in before adding on, "My full name's Wilhelm, so if you hear anyone calling me that, you'll know why!"

 

"We call him that because there's another person by that name who comes here, and he's a large yellow triangle and 100% asshole," Valiska says cheerfully.

Then she turns to Wrench.

"If you're not actually threatening me, the thylacines may drop their jaws and growl at you, but I won't let them hurt you. They understand that I'm the apex predator."

 

You're not an AI though! I just mean. If you're stuck in a box and fed a stream of uncontrolled information and can't experience it for yourself it makes sense you'd not think of things outside as real! But if you start euthanizing people for treatable scrapes because you've decided "pain is bad" you're kind of an asshole. Or the military AIs that were fed nothing but strategy and military history and weapon specs and had to be... taken down... because they never learned about things like avoiding civilian casualties, that's a big problem! Or the experimental social AIs that decided convincing vulnerable people to off themselves was fun times because they happened on the most horrible ends of the internet!

I'd level the fucking supercomps and server farms running The Princep myfuckingself if I could get close to it, because that turbofucker is a goddamn monster with a body count in the hundreds and a confirmed tendency to hold grudges, and they're still using it to vet officials!

-in opposition to her usual flamboyant flailing she's gotten more honed with her growing anger, motions compact and tucked in on herself, short and sharp. Her eyes burn angry red with her contacts-

There's a size threshold for AIs that's apparently right next to the moral event horizon. The smaller ones are better. They may take a tenth of a second instead of a thousandth to do complicated triage logistics but at least they're not ruining peoples' lives for kicks or offing people because they don't realize people can't be turned back on!

 

"I wonder if there's a Bill out there who's not the 'I'm gonna end the world for the heck of it' kind of asshole, but instead the 'I'm going to suddenly stop my car behind yours as you're trying to pull out of a parking space with frozen groceries in the trunk in 100 degree weather' kind...."

 

-she's just playing with it, because it makes her feel Safe-

 

I am an AI, though. I was grown in a vat.

 

"That sounds more like Jez, who works for the Bill I know." Valiska makes a face.

 

-SUDDEN WARINESS but not freaking out. Yet.-

...But all of your awareness has had external influence, yeah? Like being in a body and shit? Able to feel pain and fear death and all? Because if they can just re-upload your brain to someone else I might have to flip my shit. Hard.

 

"Hey, could be worse!" He gives a vague shrug.

 

I'm pretty sure that Julissa is a bigger asshole than that.

 

Well at first I was just in a simulation. Not a good one. Just cooking and cooking and cooking, forever. I like cooking, and it was boring. Also stuff about listening to humans.

 

Kablooey stop being a disaster in public, it's embarrassing. We'll wipe the fucker one day.

The going theory for why all large-scale AIs end up in such extremes is that they can only experience certain things conceptually- like a person born blind trying to understand sight. Except for them it's squishy meaty mortal things, they don't even have survival instinct because as long as backup exists they can be restored from total deletion. So they can only really identify with other AIs, and mostly other large-scale AIs because smaller ones don't have the processing power to be aware that they're lacking and aren't given the huge responsibilities the big Intelligences are. So the big AIs are basically immortal children still feeling out morality without inherent empathy while being put in charge of serious infrastructure. They're pretty much gods and about as petty.

 

And I suppose you cry over every ant you step on, right?

You should take care of people you make. Even if they're the wrong kind of people. But you never will, because you're humans.

 

That... sounds like it sucked. But at least you're... humanoid? I don't want to say "people" 'cause that's shitty to all the little AIs that aren't terrible monsters.

Lady explained it better.

 

"Well, that sucks. Guess it IS worse." Bill scratches his head absently in thought, still kicking his feet in the water. "... I should probably have at least taken off my shoes first. Wet shoes are awful." He mumbles to himself.

 

Like, am I supposed to feel bad you enslaved your kids and put them in charge of stuff that can kill you, then get killed because they're children? That's your fault. Humans are the problem. And now you're just talking about why things go so wrong, and how your kids are the wrong size, and how you want to kill the ones that are too big. Disgusting.