shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

-She licks them both.-

An' NOW I've learned stuff about you! If I was being mean or hungry I coulda eaten it so you didn't know it anymore, too, but that's kinda RUDE to do to people.

 

[The twins giggle when they're licked; Laeto perks up at the explanation.] Oh!!!! You eat stuff outta people's brains? :D

 

Only sometimes. It's pretty rude. But I bet I totally could eat a moral if I wanted to!

-She plays with one of her braids.-

You've got three parents, that's cool! Howcome you taste like the same... light??

 

[Aralia takes over talking again; he and his twin are holding hands.] We're twins!! Real twins, not just came-out-at-the-same-time twins! Auntie 'cuna says we might be able'a turn into just one jet when we grow up!

 

How's coming out at the same time not real twins??

 

[Venture suddenly remembers he was actually doing something before he got distracted not-flirting with Scanner; his wings drop, and he peers through the cherry trees at the party going on in Vector Prime's hand.]

...sorry @Scanner I gotta go make sure the twins aren't getting into stupid slag be right back-- [almost before he's done talking, he transforms and zips up to join the party, nearly tripping as he flips back into root mode the better to flare his wings at the tiny human.] Did I just hear someone say you eat thoughts?

 

[Aralia:] We feel stuff together and think together and we kinda share a spark but not? I dunno how it really works, but we could ask sire or Soundy or--

[In stereo, with tiny wingflutters from Aralia:] atta!!! :D

 

I eat LOTSA things.

 

Hey, kiddos. [He spares a smile for them-- they are still cute, and he doesn't want them to think he's ignoring them-- but most of Venture's attention is still on Hey.]

Can you change things or just delete them? [He still sounds suspicious, and may or may not be shifting to stand between her and the twins.]

 

I dunno. Why're you mad at me? I didn't do anything wrong!

 

Not yet but-- [he frowns and sits down, wings canting back a little; this human looks (and sounds) kind of like a juvenile, and yelling at kids for abilities they can't help isn't really his favorite thing.] Mm. There are people where we-- me and the twins here and Scanner and probably this big guy [he pats Vector Prime's hand] and most of the other mechs you might see around-- come from that can go into our brains and look at or rewrite or erase things. It's pretty dangerous and not something I really want around my sparklings and I kinda freaked out a little.

 

Well I SAID I don't like to eat them. If I wanted to be a dick about it I wouldn't have said I could do it.

-She frowns.-

 

[While Venture talks, Aralia has climbed around to sit in his lap; Laeto is peeking out from behind a wing, gold eyes wide. Aralia pats solemnly at the glass of Venture's cockpit.] Don'gotta be scared. Hey You's nice! They're 'splainin things!

 

...yeah. Yeah you're right I overreacted a little. Sorry.

[Hug the smol and try not to laugh.] They sure are explaining things you're not wrong about that.

 

I'm a girl by the way, not a they.

-She pats Venture's leg.-

I forgive you.

 

Okay!!! :D

[Laeto ducks under Venture's wing and sits down between his family and Hey.] What other stuff do you eat besides brains?

 

Ummm... metal, plastic, electricity... food-food, of course, for humans.

 

[He grins. Transparent attempts at reverse-psychology are so cute and so predicatble.]
I guess it all started when I thawed enough to be able to turn my optics and audials on and got my first orders! Y'know standard fare slag, 'once you have control of your limbs you join a couple beaters infiltrating a decepticon base on a desolate crystal field at the ass end of nowhere, your job is to keep tabs on who is where and disable threats with extreme prejudice, bla bla bla, conquer this shit and clean it out' yknow normal stuff to hear in the first ten kliks of your life. Shortly after I learned that screams of agony are the most beautiful sound in this universe, i still use them when I have trouble falling into recharge, ya know?
After we took out the garbage high command extracted the other mechs and left me alone in there for a couple of months before sending backup to help me hold the base. It was fun talking to myself and slowly going crazy! But it was even better starting a nigh-incestuous codependent relationship with the guy they sent to keep me company, you'll recognize him immediately he looks like a more handsome, orange version of me.

[He waves vaguely]

 

uh huhhhh. definitely. yes. tell me about your father.

 

What's a father?
[fuck the fourth wall and canon knowledge levels were doing this]
One was a tyrannical megalomaniac warrior-priest king.
The other was a scientific genius, the most lawful of all, a real rennaissance mech... until he drilled a hole in his brain and "felt the light pour in", yknow how it is.
The last of 'em was a construction worker with a seriously wonky idea of cost-benefit balances.