shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

*Shrieks, fluttering wildly in the nothing where there used to be a something for a second, then just glides down to perch on a chair. She starts combing out her ruffled feathers.*

 

Well, he did always say that there were many worlds with many different versions of the same people in them, but I ... don't think I ever quite believed that completely till now.

 

If you shit on me, I will break your neck, and then I will eat you. You are a bird and I am a cat. Don't forget it.

 

*Still preening. Untrained birds of prey don't understand English. She would probably be able to severely damage an eye before she was killed, though. Food for thought.*

 

someone write down that i won this one.

 

-Mabel shrugs.-

I figured this was just a weird dream!

 

You're not quite wrong! [A seventy-foot-tall robot is holding three smaller robots and a young girl in one hand. They appear to be having a conversation he's paying no attention to.]

 

D --> : 33 <

 

*She would choose the vantage point afforded by the absolutely fuckoff massive robot that just showed up, but said vantage point is moving. She puffs her feathers up a little. It moves loudly.*

 

Alex frowns. This is not the dream she was looking for. An assortment of giant robots--fine, whatever--trolls, which she's seen more than enough of, thanks, and in the middle of it all, her dead aunt Lissa talking to her younger self while drinking tea and stuffing her face. (Grandpa Stan had always wondered how his brother's alien girlfriend wasn't big as a house--but not more than once where Uncle Ford could hear it.)

It wasn't that she didn't miss her Grauntie, but damn it, just one more thing she's lost? No thanks, dream.

 

Lissa looks up. "Are you my Alexandria?" She's finally got the hang of using her mouth to make words again. "Is Jessie with you?"

 

"Yeah, Grauntie Lissa, it's me. But I'm dreaming, right? And Jess and Mason are fine, at least as much as anyone is. You sure do look a lot better. I mean...it was a closed casket funeral." She sighs. "Are you really here, or have I finally gone nuts like Ford?"

 

Lissa frowns. "I don't know if I am real."

 

"A hallucination probably wouldn't say that," Alex says, cracking a smile, and sits down with her, pulling her into a hug. She wants to burst into tears and ask what to do, but she makes herself keep on smiling like nothing has ever been wrong, even though her uncle is bound to an alien conqueror, Will is a troll, her grandfather's dead, Grandma Carla is missing, and they're probably going to put Jessie into a ship even if her uncle does everything the bitch tells him to, because nothing about the trolls makes her think they keep promises.

 

Well, I'll grow up pretty.

-Mabel looks the older her up and down, before noticing a detail that makes her frown.-

Wait, why are your eyes brown?

 

"Why are yours blue?" Alex shrugs. "Wait, I think I know the answer to this one. What have you and our brother been getting up to with Will?"

 

I don't know a Will.

-She sighs delicately, reaching for some tea.-

 

"Ford's demon servant," Alex says daintily. "Maybe they're called something else in your dimension."

 

I don't know anything about a demon servant. My eyes have always been blue.

-Something about the direction of this conversation deeply unsettles Mabel. She knows she's got to change the topic, even if she doesn't know why. It's not worth questioning. It's not that interesting.-

So! Why are you giving your best show smile, Alexandria? An actress knows an actress!