shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

Oh, I didn't realize you were working for the 'alien bitch', Alexandria. What was that about her not keeping her promises?

-She beams, equally fake.-

 

"That's...not gonna happen," says Mabel. "Our parents promised her they'd never make her go back to Alternia. And yeah, the other me's right. She's going to do it anyway."

 

If you must refer to me, you can call me Mab. Or I can call you Mab. Mab's kind of a nice name. It's powerful.

 

Alex crumples a little. "I know. I know. Appeasement doesn't work." She winces. "It's just...really annoying to have your planet invaded because someone was looking for a completely different Pines family."

 

vwhy do i somehowv doubt that this 'family' is actually that important in the grand scheme of things.

 

@calicosAssassin

*Oh good, another tall troll with a horn to perch on. The bird does this. It has not learned from last time, because it is a bird*

 

Well, that's no reason to take it out on ourselves, is it? Manners!

 

*This particular tall horned man fucking punches the bird. Because that's how to handle asshole birds.*

 

-But sir, fighting type only does half-damage to flying-type!-

 

*What the FUCK is a pokeyman can he punch those too.*

 

"More importantly," Lissa says, "loyalty. Your family are the only people you can trust, Alexandria. You know that."

This is all her fault. But if she hadn't fallen in love, Jessie wouldn't exist.

Of course, Stanford would also not be a prisoner.

He'd be dead, and she'd be alive, though, and if one of them has to be dead, perhaps Lissa prefers it the way it is.

 

-Mab snorts cynically.-

 

*Birds are good at seeing fast-moving objects. It's off his shoulder before he can really connect, especially at such an awkward angle. He clips the outer end of her wing, though, so nice job.

She perches on a lamp and poofs threateningly at the room in general.*

 

"Well," says Lissa, "Stanford's family were the only people I have ever been able to trust, since my mother killed my father."

 

Mason sits down. "Why didn't you ever get married?"

 

Oh, that wasn't a joke?

 

She's an alien, right? She doesn't legally exist, dum-dum.

 

Lissa shrugs. "One. I'm an illegal alien. No birth certificate, no papers, no proof that I ever was born on your planet, because, well, I was not. Two. In my world, men take the names of their wives, and I would not make him Beijada, nor would he ever have agreed to that. Three. I rather liked being called his Mistress."

She smiles at Mab. "No need to be rude about it. I was there when they were born. It's true that I'm an alien. It's also true they never knew a Gravity Falls without me in it...until I died, of course."

 

Dum-dum isn't rude.

 

"It kind of is," says Mabel, "even though I do call Dipper that on a fairly regular basis." She grins. "Maybe don't bubble me again, Mab."