shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

*The magic eternal kitten Mr Sprinkles licks its privates in a magical eternally juvenile fashion.*

 

Are we family?

 

Did you say magic? And at any rate, he's still somewhat reminiscent!

[he snorts and raises his eyebrows]

Yes, Jellicle. Are you a human?

As far as I can tell, I'm real. Pleased to meet you!

[he's grinning now, obviously basking in the attention of someone who knows who he is]

 

Jezebel cocks her head to one side and thinks. "Sort of?" She shrugs. "You're a Pines. I'm a Pines. It would be good enough for Uncle Stan. When Dad brought Mom home, he didn't fuss, he just figured out a new legal identity for her." She shrugs. "And suggested she wear a hat when they travelled outside of the Falls."

 

But we aren't family.

-She raises her eyebrows back.-

Yes. Jellicle?

 

not the sparkly vegas kinda magic

the 'does not require food or mother cat and does not suffer the negative health effects of kitten obesity' kind of magic

 

"Jellicle cats!" Jezebel says to Mabel. "Didn't your mother ever read to you from 'Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats'? It explains why names are important, and lots of other things."

 

yeesh, what spell went wrong and turned up you, huh?

 

I never knew my mother, thanks.

-She scowls.-

 

The particular variety of cat that I am. In essence, why I'm walking on my hind legs and talking to you right now instead of, say...

[he gestures vaguely and casts a sidelong glance at the fattest kitten]

Licking my junk.

[saccharine smile. his tailtip is flicking in annoyance]

You see, when a tom jellicle and a queen jellicle love each other very much, they make a special kind of magic we in the know like to call reproduction!

 

I see! That is what I was wondering about.

 

"I'm sorry." Jezebel sighs. "So you've been living with your uncle since you were born?"

Jezebel snickers. Her mother was always so funny--was, is? --when she was in season.

 

-She hesitates.-

...yes.

 

mum dropped you in a vat of contaminated polyjuice potion?

 

LEAVE HIM OLONE HES TRYING HIS BEST

>8T

 

I don't think someone with a dick on their face should be criticizing another's appearance, dear.

-Mab gives him a condescending smile.-

 

curse scars dont come off and we both know it. at least MINE can be fixed with a little foundation.

 

Born this magnificent, actually. Mum painstakingly spell out "dick" on your face?

[he holds up his hands in a placating gesture]

I wouldn't hold him to the same standards as a jellicle! He's, uh, charming.

 

True. Meanwhile Mr. Mistoffelees is a fine showman and handsome fellow, so you're 0 for 2, really.

 

* Nepeta is thoroughly enjoying the antics of the very fat immature purrbeast *