shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

Or we could just get payment in candy. Less steps that way.

 

Live your dreams, friends. Request all the payment, eat all the candy.

 

I am no assassin, I am a soldier. If you want someone who fights underhanded, get a Talon.

 

What's a Talon and can I ea-- okay wait no that's a bad second question, I can eat pretty much everything. What's a Talon?

 

I'd say I don't know how anyone could mistake me for an assassin, but it was an even bigger... 'borg? Robot? asking so I'm guessing it'd be less obvious for them.

-Is 10 feet and 1200 pounds of dragon cyborg. Though they stoop a little so look closer to 7-8 feet. Not an effective assassin among humans. Or oni, actually.-

 

But I wanna pick the candy!

Yess!

 

I believe that underhanded methods are the most honorable methods. Have you noticed that only beings capable of rational thought will plead for their lives? You can crush a bug between your fingertips, but it will not beg. It will fight to its last. But creatures such as Man, they will place responsibility for their own life into the hands of nonexistent beings and their own killers, but never take responsibility for themselves. Assassination is the solution to this irksome matter. One cannot beg if you never give them the chance. A good way to prevent the waste of more breath than necessary.

 

the talking pistols actually right, for once.

 

A terrorist group. Two have been here before.

 

[Thunderwing is 30ish feet and several tons of vaguely-insectoid-looking alien robot, though he seems to have lost chelicerae and acquired a shiny blue-green paintjob compared to the rank-and-file of his frametype other transformers might be familiar with.]
T'be fair I'm not an assassin either! I'm not good at sneaking even if I'm technically scout-caste. I'm just the backup!

 

What is it you and your spouses are doing these days? Oh, I hope I get to meet some of them!

 

[Thunderwing's optic band flares brighter as he turns his head, grumblegrowling to himself.] Got the second part right, but I fraggin' dare whoever said that t'try and crush me.

...that's fair, terrorists do usually do the assassination thing too. I don't need any more, though! I've got... three? Four? Does Wires count, he doesn't normally go out...

 

-knowing but slightly fond 'Ah'- Terrorists. I almost miss counterterrorism. They're practically polite compared to oni.

I'm a heavy. I go in, I wreck everything. Not made for subtlety at all.

 

Some would say my words tend to be piercing. Alas, the "for once" qualifier would create the impression that I am in the habit of being wrong. Karma is never wrong, and I am the tool of its trigger finger. You couldn't say that Fate itself is incorrect, now that's just silly! ^_^

 

Oh, we've still got orders! Or, well, they do, I don't exist on paper anymore I think, and if I did they'd try to split us up soooo yeah not doing that! We've all got our specialties, though, and as long as targets keep getting handed down we'll have something to do! And we get to explore a lot! You'd be surprised how far some people run...

Oh hey! That's me too! Which means most of the time if everything's going how it's supposed to I don't have to work, but hey, I'll take it! I do pursuit sometimes too, but I'm not a speedster.

 

Ah, but I thought the war was over? Pardon, I don't see a badge. Is that a stealth thing?

 

There's a truce but that doesn't mean our bosses have stopped. [He shrugs, ruffling his wings a little uncomfortably.] Why would I need a badge? 'Bots don't make bugs.

 

Oh, er. I've seen people with your frametype on Caminus, though, or close.

...Please tell me if I'm being offensive! I've been in, er, religious seclusion for a long time.

-She dips into a brief apologetic bow.-

 

...we're... you have? Really? I didn't think...

...how long ago?

 

-She closes her eyes, flipping through her memories.-

Let's see... there was Gemwing, and that was 3 million years ago I met her.