shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

*He captchalogues the stick.*

 

[She doesn't bite him but she does kind of kick his shins, because she is 7 and made of perpetual offended rage.]

 

[Another stick appears. Don't test her bucko.]

 

See, we have things in common already. Are you going to drink the coffee before it gets cold, or do we have to adjust all of our paintings to accommodate a mug?

(Oneira hands Ford a big mug.)
Here you go, Arha Ford. And yes, him.

 

Heh. True.

 

Spoiler: warning: blinking gif

 

*He takes this stick too! He can go all day.*

 

Oh wow, I think this is the only time you ever sticked up for something-slash-someone.

 

[She summons Two Sticks next. he hero of pokings, the legendary dual wielder of shitty wooden prodding implements.]

 

Happy 888,
Happy 3/14,
Happy wh8ever else you want to cele8r8!!!!!!!!

 

... The Amount Of Butchering You Did To The Poor Grammar In Order To Make That One Work Personally Offends Me.

 

*Nabs one.*

*A massive tome is accidentally launched from his syllabus towards Chroma's head. Whoops.*

 

JESUS FUCK. YOU KNOW WE'RE NOCTURNAL, RIGHT? LIKE, WE DON'T JUST SLEEP DURING THE DAY FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES?

YES, SWOON HARDER. TRULY OURS WILL BE A STORY FOR THE HISTORY BOOKS

WHAT GUY, THE FUCK THAT SPAWNED THIS CULT OR--

--WOW, FUCK YOU! I'M SORRY, SHOULD I STRING MYSELF UP, MAKE IT A LITTLE MORE APPARENT THAT THESE SAUSAGES THINK I'M THEIR SAVIOR? PLEASE, TELL ME, MY ONLY DESIRE IS THAT I APPEAR APPROPRIATELY HOLY FOR YOU, A RANDO I'VE NEVER MET

[he's halfway through taking an obnoxiously large drink in defiance when he hears the rest of the sentence and chokes] PAINTINGS?! HAVE YOU EVEN SEEN ME, EVER, IN YOUR LIFE?

IS THERE NO END TO THE DEPTHS OF YOUR DEPRAVITY

 

[It smacks her right in the face. RIP. There she goes.]

 

Ford is okay with this. He is feeling incredibly relieved that:

a) they have found the Signless
b) it's not him
c) he was never Kankri fucking Vantas
d) it's not him
e) did he mention, it's not him?

Ford takes a long drink of coffee, almost an inhalation. "Thanks." He sighs. "How are you going to break this to Loreli? She was very upset by the fact that I didn't believe it when she thought it was me. But I don't think even I was adequate preparation for this guy."

He takes another long drink.

"I kinda like him, though."

 

9h dear. Captchal9gues can 6e s9 finicky and I ap9l9gize greatly f9r the accidental pr9jectile.

*He makes no motion to help her up. McFuckin suck it.*

 

happy ME night!!

 

Uh.
........No.

 

yes.

*The Itch Crown is back.*

 

Ford laughs again, but this time manages to get control of himself and actually talk.

"I'm sorry, you couldn't have known." He swallows more coffee. "Please don't call my girls sausages. These girls are daughters of my house. When I met them, I was wearing a torn and burnt red sweater, I had burns on my wrists because my stalker ex was trying to torture information out of me, and a couple of days later, when they saw that my blood was red..."

He sighs. "I'm not making fun of you. It's just that the whole situation is kind of hysterical, especially since the Empress invaded this guy's world looking for our Loreli and for me, because she thought at least a few people thought I was you. Or maybe she thought so herself, I don't know. It's horrific, everything about Weirdmageddon is awful and horrible, but I did get a wonderful family out of it, and at a certain point you break down and you either laugh or you cry, and I'm tired of crying."

He drinks more coffee. "At one point there were at least three candidates. One was me, the other was you, and...the third was someone I already know is a charlatan, a waste of carbon who harassed our Mabel."