shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

"Yes, and they're winning."

 

... okay, yeah, that's embarrassing. But at least I'm not doing his homework for him, I figured that one out quick.

 

That's what you got out of this? "At least I didn't get manipulated into doing a kid's homework?"

 

... that's the only part of it that makes me feel remotely good about myself.

 

Are you naturally this pathetic or did you have to work at it?

 

I'm not sure, actually.

 

"Just don't do it again. Norm, I know you literally grew up in a fucking bottle and were a slave and were abused and you have huge developmental gaps that you can't possibly help, so I'm not exactly mad at you, but this is not a thing you can do again because you live in my house which is full of my children and other people's children as well. Not to mention adults with wildly varying tolerances, some of whom also have significant abuse histories."

Ford sighs heavily.

"So. Here is a simple rule: do not show porn or other non-educational sexually oriented material to kids, to teenagers, or to any adult who hasn't agreed to look at it first, ever. Also, do not show educational explicit sexual material to kids or teenagers until and unless they ask for it, and as long as you're living in my house and haven't taken or passed the citizenship exams, even then you should consult their guardians first. Because Valiska, Sev and I do not want to be responsible for it if you don't."

 

Understood.

Sorry.

 

"Ask Valiska sometime to give you a list of the things she ate when she was a kit and her parents were trying to leave the Beijada and were running from planet to planet. Not because they were broke or didn't have food, but because she went outside by herself and caught and ate them out of sheer curiosity."

"Yes, you would, but you might also survive, so it's not quite the same."

"You don't want Norm to do your homework. Especially not in science. People who can snap their fingers and make anything they want happen in their native dimensions do not tend to have a lot of scientific knowledge when they arrive in dimensions where it's actually needed."

"Good. I forgive you for making me watch it, but I can't accept your apology on the kids' behalf, so you might want to tell them you're sorry as well."

 

[More concerned chirrclicking. Glow seems to like the one with wings, but this one also needs someone???]

[Rattlehiss!] NO!!!! I'm smarter than everyone but Wires!!!! I'm the smartest!!!! Frag yo--

[Thunder is distracted by Suddenly Water(park) and spends an unconscionable amount of time yelling at various liquids for touching him unexpectedly. Even though he could just move away.]

 

Star, TNFL, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking.

 

Would you like to come sit up here again? [Glow still has his robot-sized crate to perch on. It is suspiciously untouched by the waterpark, though he does pull a face at the ensuing orgy.]

Sweetspark, if you think she's dangerous, you should really stop insulting her. [Glow would not actually fight a baby who's not on the List, but his warning still sounds something like a threat.]

[A surprisingly decent imitation of concerned clicking.]

Lacuna, I'm sorry, Thunder... doesn't react very rationally to people doubting his intelligence, even though as an engineer you probably are smarter with mechanics than him. It's been something of an issue with the rank and file, given his origins. He's not quite angry at you; he'll probably apologise once he's calmed down some, if you explain you weren't actually trying to call him a dumb beast.

 

Do I get an apology for having all that shoved in my face, or just the one you live with? I didn't consent to watch some disgusting organic mating-ball either.

 

H3Y G3N13 HUM4N
C4N 1 H4V3 7H3 5H4M37H4P3 1F U R D0N3 W1 7H 167
H3HH3H3H3H

Spoiler: translation

hey genie human, can i have the shame tape if you're done with it

 

Ahhhhh. That ain't the most responsible thing he coulda done, no.

 

[He makes an alarmed little noise and his rotor propellors spin up in the teeny-tiniest threat display ever. It's... actually kind of cute. Like a tiny animal fluffing up at a predator.]

I... I just did what I was told to do...

 

"You're entitled to one if you want it, I think," Ford offers. "I just didn't know who was offended and who wasn't. TNFL doesn't live with us, after all. I knew I was, and the kids get one by virtue of being too young to watch that stuff legally most places even if they wanted to."

Ford is not going to think about TNFL living in the Cliffside House. TNFL obviously needs better parenting but the Cliffside House (okay, Fort Apocalypse, Qihanna) is probably not the best place for him. Probably.

 

I WIN SUCK IIIIIIIIT

 

i dont even got a science class this semester )8<

 

Thing is, when somebody tells you t'do somethin', you gotta think about it. If it's somebody you don't know so well, you should think 'bout what they're gettin' out of it. An' every time, you should try an' think 'bout what's likely t' happen.

Releasin' that video... I think it's likely you weren't thinkin' of other people onboard, jus' Lacuna an' the rest'a the Devisuns. Makin' it public didn't just hurt her, although that's reason enough not t'do it in my book. It hurt everybody onboard who didn't want to see violence, an' for some people, who seen more than enough'a it already, you might'a thrown 'em back in some real bad places in their heads. If you were worried bout the safety of the crew or some such, you could'a taken it to the captains, shown it t'just them. They could'a worked somethin' out. That's what they're there for.

As it is, you went about things in a bad, roundabout way. But I got hopes that when this is done, you'll think about it in the future an' do better.