shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

I don't think he's actually started his explanation yet.

 

POINT TO WHERE I EXPLAINED ANYTHING OTHER THAN "IF THEY DID THAT I'D PUKE AND DUMP THEIR ASS," DEADLIEST CATCH

 

Aww. So can you pounce on like, on second and then go there? How do you know if a timelines the right one?

 

provwes you dont knowv vwhat the fuck youre talking about and i refuse to entertain a vword of it.

 

My caterer was personally recommended by Bustopher Jones. Perhaps your palate is too unrefined?

[there is really no subtle way to touch your face, is there. he checks anyway]

My whiskers are fine.

 

OR MAYBE YOU'RE JUST DATED. LO, LONG WERE THE SWEEPS SINCE ANYTHING YOU SAID MATTERED. BLOOD PURISTS EVERYWHERE WEEP.

 

Made you look.

 

(are y9u a6s9lutely insane??)

 

[offended gasp]

 

remind me vwhen vwas the last time anyone gavwe a single shit vwhat a puny little peasant vwith inch-long horns said about a quadrant he clearly knowvs nothing about.

 

LMAO. HE'S AS DEAD AS YOU ARE, AND SO'S THE EMPRESS. I AM A REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE, PULLING SICK VERBAL STUNTS. CHECK IT, NERD

OOH, DID I HIT AN OUCHIE SPOT? YOU'LL BE GLAD TO KNOW, IN THE MANY SWEEPS SINCE YOUR ABSENCE, THAT THE ENTIRETY OF OUR KIND IS NOW RULED BY ME, AN ABSENTEE TEAL, AND TWO ALIENS.

~PEASANT~ MY SEEDFLAP. I RANK HIGHER THAN YOU, YOU GODDAMN TUNA CAN

 

"She's just leaving out the part where we nearly killed each other a couple of times." Paz shrugs. "Hate you most," she tells Mabel, and grins.

 

Mabel grins back at her. In a bitey sort of way. "Pitch bitch," she says, and makes spades with her hands.

 

unless those stupid little nubby audio canals are masking a pair of fins and you have an attractive body-hugging vwetsuit under that, you dont outrank me.

 

"Dude," says Mason. "They're thirteen years old. Six sweeps. I'm sure their epic hatred seems tame to you two because they're kids."

 

vwigglers dont get a free pass for being dumbasses just because they havwent learned howv to stop being dumbasses.

 

YOU REALLY ARE DATED, HOLY SHIT!

BEHOLD THE SWILL THAT MILLIONS HAVE KNELT BEFORE. THE SLUDGE THEY BOW TO. THE NASTY OFF-SPECTRUM CULL-WORTHY MUTANT THEY DEFER TO.

I'M A GOD. EAT MY ROYAL DROPPINGS, DUDE

I DUNNO, I WAS PRETTY READY TO LIGHT FLAMES OF HATRED THAT WOULD OUTSHINE THE MOON AT SIX.

I WOULD SAY "DON'T EXPLAIN SHIT WHEN YOU'RE THAT LITTLE" BUT THAT WOULD BE THE WATER STORAGE AND HEATING DEVICE CALLING THE SPOUTED WATER HEATING RECEPTACLE BLACK

 

"Did you miss the part where we nearly killed each other before we figured out that we wanted to make out?" Paz shrugs. "Just because she has the obnoxious habit of making fucking everything sound cutesy does not mean she can't be evil and deadly, even if she does spend way too much time sitting on her ass. I'm not saying you're wrong about us, but I am saying that the trolls we know think the story of how we met would make a pretty good epic romance novel."