shitposting rave 4: (almost) anything goes

I AM SKEPTICAL YET INTRIGUED.

I WISH MY HUMANS WERE AS OPEN TO THE IDEA OF QUADRANTS, BUT OHHHH NO! MOST OF THEM JUST WANT TO STAY IN THE SHALLOW WATERS OF ~VALENTIMES~ AND ~THIRD DATES~ INSTEAD OF TRYING ANYTHING NEW.

IT TOOK ALMOST A SWEEP AND A HALF FOR DAVE TO PULL HIS HEAD OUT OF HIS CLENCHED ASSCHEEKS IN THAT REGARD, AND JOHN IS STILL CRYING ABOUT IT BEING WEIRD AND GROSS. I THINK THE VERY ESSENCE OF HIS BEING IS WEIRD AND GROSS, BUT DO I VIOLENTLY RIP HIS IMMORTAL SOUL FROM HIS BODY, DOING THE ENTIRE POPULATION OF EARTH C A FAVOR? NO!

 

let me clue you in on something, kid.

on alternia, trying to kill someone is considered a normal part of any relationship, platonic or othervwise. if someone doesnt try to kill you at some point, it means theyre going to rob you.

you aint special.

 

Paz considers this. "Well," she says, "I would say that it had a lot to do with having the experience of having our entire universe nearly destroyed and ending up in another one surrounded by members of numerous differing species. But it sounds like that happened to your people too, so I got nothing. In our case, it was just like this huge relief to find out there was a word for what we already were experiencing long before we met any trolls. I mean...okay, I get that there's a lot more murdering on Alternia, so our initial meeting was fairly tame although it was definitely hate at first sight. But when Mabel and I figured out that our reasons for not actually wanting to kill each other were more complex than just not wanting to go to jail...we were totally confused until we met Oneira and Chroma and Loreli."

 

*While Tugger was distracted with bantering with Mistoffelees, the teal wiggler scaled his rock and they bite down on his ankle.*

 

*High pitched shriek. He tumbles off the lounging rock.*

 

...i think i'd much rather want to blast you in the face with wind then kiss you

 

D --> I
D --> I think I need a towel

 

Mabel rolls her eyes at him. "First of all, your Alternia's not our Alternia. We established that when you said nobody uses the word 'clade' over there. Second of all, we weren't on Alternia, so even if that were true of the trolls we knew--who have all killed people, but nobody who's in their quadrants since they figured their quadrants out--it would just mean that since we're not on Alternia, our aggression actually meant something."

 

It's... not quite sight, or hearing, but it is a sense something like those; if I focus, I could always say when I am and when I'm 'looking' at, just like Vector could tell you exactly where anything is, up to dimension and universe and down to Epistemus knows how many decimal points of coordinates.

...Not that our explanations often make sense to anyone but each other, because intentional planeswalking and time-travel are extremely rare powers, but.

 

Spoiler: gif

 

I THINK I NEED A RESTRAINING ORDER

IT WAS HYPERBOLE!!!

 

Too Late Fucker.
[She sounds like she is joking though. Probably.]

 

D --> What kind of restraints would this entail

 

Not that I'm not a huge fan of children killing each other, but WHY were a bunch of thirteen year olds doing that? Was this a Hunger Games situation or are we talking more Lord of the Flies?
?_?
[Guess who arrived fifteen minutes late with craft beer?]

 

ONE OF THESE DAYS I'M JUST GOING TO GO THE WAY OF CARLOS AND SEW MY MOUTH SHUT. AND THE UNIVERSE WILL WEEP, FOR IT WILL KNOW MY RAGE NO LONGER.

BUT I! I WILL BE HAPPY, EATING THROUGH MY CRAZY STRAW WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT I CAN NEVER AGAIN VOMIT SUCH IDIOCY

NONE THAT YOU'D LIKE, YOU COLOSSAL PERV.

 

I DON'T GIVE ONE CRUMBLY TURD ABOUT HUMAN MEDIA, SO FORGIVE ME IF I'M REHASHING THE PLOT OF HUNGRY GAMES OR WHATEVER.

IF YOU'RE TALKING SPECIFICALLY ABOUT *MY* BUNCH OF SIX SWEEP OLDS OR I GUESS IN GENERAL, PLEASE IMAGINE A PUNGENT HORMONAL STEW, IN A POT JUST BARELY BIG ENOUGH TO CONTAIN IT.

AND THEN ONE SPOONFUL OF STEW STARTED KISSING ANOTHER SPOONFUL, AND A COMPLETLY DIFFERENT SPOONFUL HAD A SHITTY BABY TANTRUM OVER IT. THEN AN UNRELATED...CHUNK OF GROSS HORMONAL STEW-MEAT DECIDED WOULDN'T IT BE FUN IF I WAS THE ONLY FUCKER IN THE POT? AND WENT ABSOLUTELY APESHIT BANANAS CRAZYPANTS

AMONG OTHER THINGS.

 

D --> None that I would like
D --> These restraints must be of e%orbitantly high amounts of discomfort
D --> I may need multiple towels

 

I understand NOTHING but given the tendency for aliens to murder out of the womb, I feel like this is pretty standard.
^_^

I just wanna know who the fuck let a bunch of human kids do that. I wanted to kill people at thirteen!
!_!
>_<

 

HOW ARE YOU STILL THIS DISGUSTING???? HOW AM I STILL UNWITTINGLY PLAYING INTO YOUR NASTY FANTASIES???

CAN'T YOU JACK OFF TO PORN *PRIVATELY* OR SOMETHING INSTEAD OF ME? IT'S FUCKIN' GROSS

THAT'S RACIST