shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Ssssseeeeee he knows the rules, he was taught well.
He has dealt with our kind before.
[Lindi laughs]

 

I have been allowed to taste wine and have not sired children.
Have I broken the rules, Dave Strider?

 

"I went to college thinking I was going to study physics, supremely and blithely unaware of the amount of chaos magic that gets involved in that when you start doing multidimensional work." Ford grins. "It was an education in more ways than one."

 

my brother is my dad and my best friend created me from green goop im not really an authority on the rules pertaining to this specific subject

 

To steal an apple, plant the seeds, duuuh.

 

"It's likely that Dave Strider is referring to his culture of origin, which appears to be similar enough to my own that only adults are allowed to drink wine." Ford shrugs.

 

"They won't grow true." Lissa sighs. "Apples, like roses, are cultivated through grafting. If you plant the seeds from an apple, and you actually get a productive tree, there's no guarantee that it will be exactly like the apple you took the seeds from. Apples and roses are related, you know."

 

dave strider was making a joke about his mom but not the hot young version of her
the version that raised rose

 

College does that I have heard.
Many masters went to college.

..... And here I thought humans didn't have the option of recreating in familiar ways. A conspiracy! I will be regarded fondly and hailed with praise
[They ponder this, the smoke around them pink and citrus-y]

The apple giving child should become a poet.

 

My dude if you think you've found any weak spots so far think again
Except maybe your lingerie kink because that was kinda TMI I don't need to know about your quivering silken anything

...Aight. "Robot" in Neocybex is... It's by definition an object, something nonsapient that's been programmed to do simple tasks. Drones are robots, datamining blocks are robots. By some dumbaft arguments, beastformers are robots. Transformers, people, are mechs.

 

[They flop over, puzzled. But what is the truth. Good thing wine wasn't one of their preferred prizes anyway]

 

...yeah, I know.

Thanks. Do you like apple pie?

 

im not looking for any

oh yeah talk dirty to me
at least SOMEONES gonna ravish me on my wedding day
are you going to cla(i)m my peral

it required highly advanced technology and paradoxes so i mean
it's not usually an option

 

I like apples. I do not know. My prize is apples and poppies and blood, usually.
Does pie smell good?

 

Huh. Peculiar.

 

I mean if you wanna I'm game, not like I can get punished for dream shenanigans

 

"Then I apologise for calling you that," says Ford. "A 'Transformer' in my universe is a character from a children's television show, and I think they are called 'robots'. There's a song, something about 'robots in disguise'? The show is about Transformers who pretend to be cars and trucks and other vehicles that people use, and nobody knows that they're people. Mason used to sing it when he was small. These characters mention names your people have mentioned--they talk about Megatron a lot--but what little I remember of them doesn't seem much like any of you. So you are mechs, and robots are tools?"

 

... yeah, that's a good question.

*warily* Forced? How? What did they do?

 

Mmmmh. I think someone's mentioned comics, yeah, but, uh, in our universe humans have plenty of justification for depersonalizing transformers anyway, and it's not like that'll get any better while Dipstick Prime is playing conqueror. Stupid hypocritical spawnuva...

But yeah, sounds like you've got the difference down.

 

I ROBBED THE CLAM 1ST, SHIT TEETH

ALSO, FRANKLY, YOU'RE ENORMOUS AND HE WOULD PROBABLY BE SPLIT OPEN LIKE THE FRUITS HE GLEEFULLY DEVOURED, ONLY WITH A HEAPING HELPING OF GORE ON THE SIDE. WHAT A COMPELLING IMAGE! I AM JUST SO HOT AND BOTHERED

AND IT WOULD BE JUST! BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU LUST AFTER METAL BULGE WHEN YOU ARE MERELY MADE OF MEAT.

[pointed look in dave's direction]