shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

fucking sick what else have you got in there
youre definitely on some dank shit gemstoned is right
what would you even use to soar to such heights
ughhhh yes this is such a good strain of salt im feeling super mellow rn
or is that like cannibalism

i am a flesh man made of simple meats which is less cool than being a rock that can shapeshift if you assume humans are still the like boring generic default we always are in scifi
so my species may be the equivalent of the generic aisle full of black and white boxes just labelled HUMAN but im pretty goddamn awesome regardless

 

And that is why I didn't do it.

 

A mi appears! The Mi pounces over to sniff the gems.

 

Veroandi: "Durapror, I think he's asking me to bury him!"


Durapror: "V-Veroandi, no. His blood sugar levels are fine. He was being facetious."


Veroandi: "Huh?! Then what was he talking about??"


Durapror: "...He likely thought that the talk of rainbows was sweet. T-the blood sugar quip was a flippant remark that was intended to illustrate this sentiment."


Veroandi: "Oh. Well why didn't you just say so in the first place, silly!"


Durapror: "Err..."

 

I mean if it's any consolation in my universe you're horrifying survivalists and torture artists depending on which mech you ask.

 

Ormt: "I am a ronin. I wouldn't use any other type of blade if my life depended on it. My issen is capable of stopping time completely for a second, but it requires that I unleash my most powerful slash, which would be very dangerous to perform here, even with my blade sheathed."


Uror: "I'd say Ormt is probably our fastest guild member. And that's really saying something, Duneyrr moves like a hurricane!"


Duneyrr: "A good survivalist is one with the wind. I am the breeze that steals one's last breath. I couldn't say I'm faster than the speed of light, though."

 

oh my sweet fucking lord yes
dave strider space orc and relentless bipedal cockroach
finally a title i can be proud of
im gonna mail a petition to the human kingdom and beg them to officially rename themselves to unkillable fuck empire
as it should be

 

Mmm. Hello.

 

that sounds more like aradias bag i pretty much stick to doing time shit to myself but being like
frivolous
with it like i was in the beginning like OH SHIT cool powers time to abuse them for my own amusement
isnt exactly the best way to go about things so im not going to provide a demonstration also man im retired
im old and tired wheres my fucking walker

anyway are you sure you guys dont know what im talking about cause im hearing basically like
this is my god tier but idk what it is but if i did itd be that
like thief of breath which is an unfortunate johnvris combo i never wanted to consider

 

basically

Sup?

 

Kormt: "I can't say that I am familiar with what a meme is. "
Kormt: "And I'm still not entirely sure that I truly am making sense. I am quite out of my element, with the direction this conversation has turned. I hadn't realized that the curse you were in contact with was an issue of the past. My knowledge of it extends no further than its nature. I know not how it has affected others than yourself, nor am I aware of what problems it has caused you."


Skuld: "...Conversation is agitating you? Disengage...Doesn't seem he cares about your manners...Can leave the conversation, then."


-Kormt sighs deeply-
Kormt: "Thank you, Skuld. It is a helpful reminder to know that I can take a break from the conversation, if need be. I think I may do that, soon."

 

Not very much! You?

 

Probably napping on a stasis pod, chatting with random aliens here, nothin' too snazzy. Oh! I got to try organic fuel earlier, that was pretty sweet.

 

Figuratively or literally?

 

Both! It was a neat experience and it rendered as sweet somehow, even though it's like 80% carbon by volume? [Shrug!] I'm chalkin' it up to dream magic, I asked the human who gave it to me to make it taste like an ideal specimen.

 

Huh! It was big enough for you?

 

And again I say: dream magic probably. Like, if I wanted to I could be as tall as you while we're here!

 

...Index could be big...

 

She could be! Must be hard to find someone bigger than you out in the real world, but hey-- it's a dream, anything can happen ;)

 

are you busy seeing for all those snakes, @Lindi?