shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

[He grins.]

I'm an elf. Anyone can enter the Fade when they sleep-- well, not dwarves, but they're magically inert as well-- but mages are more susceptible to it. This place isn't... quite... like the Fade that I'm used to, the magical resonance is different, but it's close enough I think.

 

...huh. Barrier must be thinner in your world, then, if people can get into the Other Place just by sleeping. Wonder if it hurts less to be material there.

 

[The shrug, not feeling like a philosphicl argument]

And if it was a million. Y-you should understand.
[They flop over his lap, whining faintly]

 

-Billy makes a vaguely disgruntled/disgusted ugh-ing sound-
Yeah yeah, I getcha, I guess.

 

There didn't use to be a barrier at all-- once, the elvhen were immortal, shaping the world to their whims. They were powerful and very corrupt, as I understand it. Then the veil happened, and sometime after we were separated from the Fade, we lost our immortality too.

Of course, going physically into the Fade is a rather different issue. That is... much harder, and much more taxing on the body.

 

You actually manage to get flesh bodies into your version? It messes humans up something fierce, but that's because their spirits aren't supposed to leave their bodies, not because we bring the body along for the ride.

 

It's only been accomplished... twice, in my knowledge, with extreme circumstances both times. But I suppose your version of the Fade was never part of the material world in the first place? That might make the difference.

 

I... i miss him. I wish he never- I wish I didn't...
[They trail off, making a sad noise]

 

-moar pettins. Billy looks rather awkward, like he's trying not to think about something-
Yeah, well, 'least it won't happen again?

 

I-i don't... not sure...? Your lover isn't tha-that stupid, b-but... other masters will come... eventually...

 

I don't think so? I don't remember it ever being like that. Kind of mutually awful-- hurts us to be physical, hurts them to be plain spirit. [Shrug!]

[Ooooooh. Oh no. She understands a little bit now. Pet/groom the snakefriend, try not to make fussy noises.]

 

[Whines and cuddles the noodlecat. At least cuddles are always soothing.]

 

-wince-
...Yeah, well, it ain't always the same.

 

...
Sorry, I... I-I'm sure-
Sorry...
[They shut up, just quietly leaning against him for a moment.]

 

[karkat looks pretty fucking horrified, in that "oh god what did i just do" way. he comes over and holds his hands out kind of like he wants to be reassuring but isn't sure what to do]

OH, JESUS. UH, UH, FUCK??? DON'T CRY, I'M NOT SURE WHAT I'M EVEN SUPPOSED TO DO, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOUR SPECIES HANDLES EMOTIONAL REGULATION OR WHAT'S APPROPRIATE! I, UH.

[he settles for summoning a box of tissues and offering them to lindi, face bright red with shame. he doesn't look up, instead focusing firmly on his shoes.]

...SORRY.

 

[They take one of the tissues and press it kind of sloppily to their face.]
I-i cannot... bre-break a contract on y-your word if it's not youuuuuurs. That's n-not how this wooooorks. And I d-don't want to eat either of you.
P-please just... I don't w-want to...
[They peek at karkat over the tissue, still a little teary-eyed.]

 

[he sighs and shuffles his feet in place]

OK, LET ME JUST TEAR SOME SINCERITY OUT OF MY ASSHOLE. ANY SCREAMING I DO IS MERELY MY PSYCHE TRYING TO RESIST EMOTIONAL PROLAPSE.

I DON'T KNOW HOW ANY OF THIS SHIT WORKS, BUT I CAME BACK TO FIND OUT DAVE HAD GONE AND DONE SOMETHING POTENTIALLY DANGEROUS TO KEEP ME SAFE, AND THAT HE'D DONE IT BADLY.

I WAS SCARED. AM SCARED.

I HANDLE A LOT OF SHIT BY GETTING ANGRY, IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED! SO, WHILE LOGICALLY I KNOW WHATEVER YOU WERE DOING WAS JUST ~WHAT YOU DO~

I KNEW DAVE WASN'T GOING TO UNDO IT, BUT I DON'T EXACTLY RELISH BEING HELPLESS WHEN SOMEONE I CARE ABOUT COULD BE HURT, SO I FIGURED I COULD JUST. MAKE *YOU* FIX IT. PAST ME, PRESENT ME, FUTURE ME--I'M AN IMPULSIVE MORON WHO DOESN'T CONSIDER OBVIOUS THINGS LIKE "THE PERSON YOU'RE SHRIEKING AT HAS FEELINGS" AND OTHER ADVANCED CONCEPTS.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BREAK IT. I'M GOING TO STOP TRYING TO MAKE YOU

 

[They nod weakly. The skull marking are returning ever so slowly and the flowers look a little less dead bit by bit.]
It's nooooooot the best contract, but... I named a price, he paid it... there is no debt putting him in danger... I'm n-not Grimm.

 

[Derisive snort from... a wolf that looks like it is entirely made from Birch bark and amber glow]
Tell me, are you willing to stand by that statement?
[They sound incredibly tired]

 

[Lindi meeps, startled.]
..............
Snakes can't stand.
[It comes out a lot more quietly than they mean it to]