shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

[Quietly oozes away from Lindi. She is not getting in the middle of someone else's grudgefight, she knows better than that.]

 

[They laugh, it comes out more like a bark.]
By the masters how do you survive at all, you careless, useless ribbon.

[The wolf-thing shakes their... "fur" (bark scales?) out, and stretches. There's something powerful and dangerous even about that movement.]
See, Lindi. That one knows what's good for them.

 

I MEAN, THAT'S NOT THE MOST REASSURING THING I'VE EVER HEARD, BUT IT'S DEFINITELY BETTER THAN "AND NOW I OWN YOUR SOUL, BECAUSE FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU IS WHY"

[he scoots off hastily once the other demon shows up--something's telling him this one would take more than kisses]

 

[Lindi uncurls a little, returning to their go-to pouting method of smoking moodily. Somehow their hair looks a little floofier and bigger, their claws a little longer.]
Has the aaaaaaancient wolf forgotten how to be poliiiiite? Not eeeeeeverythign needs to be about who's the strongest.

 

[Unlike everyone else (with sense, probably) Helios is now eyeing the wolf-demon with distaste and has a staff in hand. Where did it come from? FADE MAGIC.]

Are we going to have a problem?

 

[They grin, all teeth.]
But I am the strongest. Half starved dreameaters are hardly more than embarrassing snacks, little one.

[It seems they only just notice the mortals around]
Who knows. Are we? Put that toy away. A few centuries ago I would have taken that as invitation to use you as a chewing stick.
[Another barking laugh]

 

[Eep. Queezle turns into a bird and finds herself a perch somewhere quite a ways away from both Lindi and Grimm. See, she's not aligned with either of them or trying to horn in on Grimm's aesthetic! They don't quite look like anything she's used to but they definitely look powerful.]

[Oh, and a magician wants to fight the tree-wolf guy. That'll go well. Nervous preening.]

 

[They puff out an acid green cloud of smoke]
Oh shut it you-... Ugh.
No one caaaaares. Why do you need to be weird about everythiiiiing...

 

The little one should have never bothered with a second grade scryer like you. Are you actually doing your work or do you just get your filth all over this space with your fetishistic sucking up to the mortals?

 

[They yell in offense, striking for the wolf in a whole body motion]

 

[Grimm dodges and jumps, seating themselves right on Lindi's lower back with their whole weight. They lay down, smooshing Lindi's face into the dirt with a paw and ignoring their outraged sputtering.]
Quiet, kid.

 

Aw, both of you shut the fuck up.

 

[Canine snort.]
With what authority do you presume to give me orders, Gem Hide. Or however you are calling yourself these days.

 

'Mnot givin' orders, just pointin' out that you're both bein' dumb for no fuckin' reason.
My name's Billy.

 

[The birch wolf glowers at him from their perch on Lindi's back]
Well... you were never particularly dignified.

 

[Whiny noise, muffled by a faceful of floor]
You are terrible and I haaaaaaaate you.

 

-slooowwwly raises eyebrows-
Y'r own dignity jus' dropped like a good foot by tryin' to insult me like that.

 

[Grimm rolls their eyes, bark-scales raising up a little to make them look more like an assortment of wooden spikes than like an animal.]
I have no use for dignity. It looses appeal after a while.

 

...Sooo... y'tryin' to insult me by sayin' I don't have somethin' you don't care 'bout?

 

[Yawwwwwwwwwn goes the terrible wolf]
The mortal side must make thinking hard for you.