shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Sounds... weeeeeeeird. But nice?

[They look a little sad, but quickly hide it by snuggling closer to Koios.]
At least yours did it on purpose...

 

[........ Today we are wearing a giant oversized sweater with bunny motif, leggings with easter eggs on them and pastel high heels that look more like a dessert than footwear. His hair is braided back at the temples for a little bit of a more innocent look.]
Happy secular candy appreciation day, my feet hurt.
[He looks worn out as he takes off his pumps, practically groaning in relief.]

 

"That's very sad. He must have been lonely." Ford sighs. There was a time in his life when he thought he wanted to do everything by himself, but that had just been wanting out of Glass Shard Beach. After three weeks in Southern California, he had only been relieved to see his brother's car parked outside of his dorm, and his brother inside it with the windows down, asleep. It helped that Stan had had to make his own friends--he could hold up his end of a conversation with Tacey, but when Fidds and Ford got going, well. And Stan had never cared much for Agape Lodge. Carla had come to LA with stars in her eyes, hoping to be a star herself, and Stan had followed them both.

Nothing at all had worked out like they'd planned. But at least Stan, Carla and Daniel Northwest had been able to shut down the portal, and find Tate and Delilah to raise--and Lissa had helped him learn that he could get back on his own, since he'd figured his way out of Will's dimension.

"People summon demons to get things they think they can't get on their own in their worlds, whatever the reason. Like the freshman who summoned a succubus, because he didn't believe he was ever going to get laid--in 1972. If I hadn't managed to banish her...she would certainly have eaten him. And the case could be made that he deserved it for being so stupid, but who isn't stupid at eighteen? Anyhow...as foolish as it is for an eighteen-year-old to think he'd never get laid in California in 1972, it's even sadder to think that poor fellow didn't believe anyone cared enough for him to keep him company. That's probably why he didn't ask to be cured."

 

[Teggy blinks tiredly listening to this and promptly summons a mimosa]
Nooo anything but talk of work. Please. Spare me.
[His voice is entirely deadpan.]

 

Well, I did give him company! I actually quite enjoyed his company, and I hope that he truly enjoyed mine. I know that he'd lost many of his friends, and many more for studying demons. The interesting thing about Edwin was that he usually hunted demons! Yet he summoned me? I still don't understand. When he summoned me he knew I was young, weak, small, and useless. Yet he told me that I had an important task, to keep him company.

It was a good time. That's why I still don't understand why he wanted me to take his soul at the end, he hadn't offered it in the trade to summon me. I was too weak to request something like that yet he gave it to me.

He said it had to do with love, which I understand, but I don't understand how he could feel something that pure towards me.

I'm sorry.

*Pets them gently*

 

Well ooooobviously, it's because you are delightful and lovely.
[The smile is a little weaker than usual but sincere and a little bit shy.]

[They lean into the pets making a quiet happy noise and pet back]

 

*More pets and snuggles*

I am not! I am pretty, I will admit that, but I'm not delightful. I'm an ass! *This is spoken with great cheer and conviction*

 

So is everyone I knooooow. You're a delightful ass.
[They grin]

 

Ford smiles wistfully. "He wanted to stay with you. He preferred the idea of staying with you to going wherever he thought he was headed. Love isn't always as pure as you think it is. It's an attachment. you know. Compassion is the vice of kings, and the Scarlet Woman will always be brought to tears through her mercies. To love another being fully and deeply makes you willing to set aside your ideals. You care for someone enough that their absence would make a hell of heaven, and their presence a paradise in the void. How do I give myself completely to Babalon when I belong to Lissa?"

 

"Some folks are partial to ass," Lissa says cheerfully, and then she turns to Ford. "That's why I am Babalon, you silly silly man."

 

i resemble that remark

 

"I reckon most of us here resemble that remark to some degree or another," Lissa says, grinning. "And I think it applies to us all regardless of the meaning we ascribe to the term in the heat of the moment."

 

[he raises his eyebrows over his shades and waggles them]

no idea what you mean im as pure as the driven snow
innuendo never heard of her

 

I just don't understand why he would have these feelings towards me. Oh well! He is part of me now, with me forever, so I suppose he got what he wanted... Even though, despite summoning a demon, his soul was pure and ripe for paradise. In the end it allows me to not have to be in hell, to have a human form, and to be a bit more powerful than I should be.

*Winks*

Though, I also suffer from more emotions than I use to. It's strange.

 

"Not really. You have a soul now, too." Ford smiles at the demon. "You can't help having emotions, so you might as well revel in them. And...many people--most humans, most Talassani--don't really have that much control over falling in love. Love will die eventually if the loved one mistreats you or proves themselves to be unworthy--though in many cases it takes much longer than it should--but it's one of the great Mysteries how it begins."

 

Hm. They're fun, I can say that! Emotions, that is, but some of them are awful. Sorrow? Sadness? Hurt? Regret? Terrible things, awful things, and things I feel bad for having caused. I mean, it's fun to pick on people still but regret sucks. Love I'm not sure about... It's one of those things, you know? Fun! Scary.

You know, I always knew fear but this regret thing.

 

Drinking helps with the regret thing.

 

Only 'til you regret th' drinkin' th' next day.

 

Ford sighs. "Why, exactly, is it fun to pick on people? I've never understood this, and as a result of that fact, I am terrible at it even when it's supposed to be fun for the other party as well. Unless you're talking about jokes between friends, but even then...it can go too far."

 

The trick is to not stop drinking. And sleeping in with someone warm and cuddly.
And also having a very adorable kittycat laughing at you when you end up hungover. That last part doesn't help but it gives you someone to blame for your misery.