shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Integritas. Though most people who survive the first attempt call me Teggy. I hang out around galleries looking cute.
[He smiles brilliantly]

 

[slow admiring clap, only slightly sarcastic]
Incredible, darling. I'm sure it will be worth a fortune in just a few years.

 

BROTHER SANS! WHY ARE U A TOMATO WITH A BODY WEARING LIPSTICK AND GARISH CLOTHES? AND WHO IS YOUR GREEN FRIEND?

 

you think youre joking but i have it on good account that another version of me made a fuckin media empire out of my particular brand of garbage
and then i murdered insane clown posse
fuck yeah

ok one how dare you thats clearly a fucking strawberry
two how dare you thats my oc do not steal
she was lovingly crafted from the oversaturated low res hellscape that is my brain and also shes my wife

 

MY BROTHER SANS IS A HE AND I DISAPPROVE OF UR ELOPEMENT WITH HIM! WERE U HIDING HIM FROM ME BECAUSE U KNEW I WOULD BE MAD AT U?

 

Any surprise I'd display at that would be 100% certified fake put on act. That sounds absolutely plausible.

 

I am the Archmitekt. No wonder I havent met you, my art doesn´t fit in galleries. I could build a gallery I suppose! I´m not making another water fountain system until i find better materials though.

That´s....colourful. Really cheery!

 

I'm sure it would be the most adorable gallery. Architecture absolutely is art. I believe in oyur talent and devotion.
[siiiiiips his martini]

 

this is not your brother sans this is princess strawberry gusher prolapse and i love her
i dont need to hide her bro i want everyone to see the goddamn spectacle that is our love

you fucking know it
sbahj is a cultural phenomenon and ill shank anyone who implies otherwise

thanks i wont touch colors of lower saturation
their dull filth is not fit to touch these hands
i simply will not fucking abide by it

 

I would never, love, you are a star. I'm simply in awe at your skills.

 

-fluffs- Just because I´m a mi doesn´t mean all I can do is cute!

 

yeah sure
you want a fuckin autograph then since youre apparently my #3 fan
number 3 cause dirk obviously has a thing for my special flavor of nonsense and because i know karkat loves it no matter what he says about my art skills
deep down i can tell hes starstruck
i know

 

-giggles- Have you seen these yet? -makes some REALLY Pink crystals appear. They are the hottest of hot pinks, so pink they seem to be glowing.-

 

No No, you are right of course. A badass gallery? A.. hm. Majestic! That's the word I was looking for.

Oh please I can barely contain my excitement
[He sounds deadpan again, downing the last of his drink]

 

thats some fuckin
magical girl shit i love it what are they

[wordlessly holds out a slip of paper]

 

[Takes it, appearifying a gilded frame with rave magic, idly framing the autograph]
I will treasure it always. You can tell by the fac that I am risking to ruin my nails on this. Who builds these pieces of shit so terribly?
[..... yeah he gives in and magics the autograph into the frame correctly]

 

hahahaha
im honestly kind of offended that you didnt just duct tape it to a wall in true sbahj form
or like
duct tape it to the outside of the frame on top of the glass
thatd REALLY be a masterwork

 

Babe, sweetheart, darling, apple of my eye, light of my life.
One, I live in a shitty rental with my boys, and two, that's your style not mine.
[Blows him a kiss]

 

i mean style doesnt really matter if were just-
are you actually going to put that up