shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Mi! -Simon is being investigated by a mi for anything edible.-

 

He does indeed have anything edible on him, but it's terribly soggy biscuits from his waterlogged pockets. He offers them to the Mi anyway.

 

it sure fuckin is its my sacred quest
no one will ever forget the incomprehensible antics of jack dick or my name isnt dave dick
[he looks upward at nothing in particular]
you hear that john
my fake dads fake ghost is proud of me too i can finally die in peace

 

"Please refrain from expiring any time soon, it isn't quite as exciting as people make it seem."
Says the ghost still dragging half the Thames' water around the rave.

 

bro ive been there done that bought the t shirt and/or fancy red jimjams as the case may be

 

"Ah but it seems to have been remarkably impermanent in your case, whereas I am rather stuck with the state of affairs as it currently is."

 

Perma-ghost bros?

 

yeah tbf i dont really remember the whole
event
much just the coming back with cool powers part

sorry about the terminal case of the ectoplasms bro sounds rough

 

Durapror: "I'm afraid I haven't heard of any sovereign by that name."


Kormt: "Nor have I. And it would hardly come as a surprise that our pasts are drastically different. The only true commonality our guild members share is how we all grew up as orphans."


Skuld: "...He was probably born before The Calamity Visil spoke of..."


Kormt: "Yes, I believe that would make sense."

 

no i mean like
yeah our pasts are different but not cause you grew up in new york and i grew up in texas or whatever but because were from different universes
fucking
god do you even know what that means idk anything about your weird fantasy realm

anyway what do you mean calamity

 

"Indeed. Brothers in this here ghostly realm one may say."
He pulls a glass of sherry out of nowhere, toasting Ignis with it.

"Alas it is as it is. I merely regret not getting to spend longer with my mistress and our dearest child. I fear for the faith of the entire commonwealth should anyone decide to cross my beloved Theresa, but it is not like I would have been able to keep her temper at bay even while alive. I miss her."
He smiles, wistfully. He looks entirely, uncharacteristically dorky with that smile.

 

ahahaha oh man i know that feel
the trick to keeping someones temper simmered down is that you cant
be free you angry stars go shout down the moon i believe in you

anyway youre here as a ghost can you not go say hi to her where youre from or anything?

 

Spoiler: major etrian odyssey spoilers

Skuld: "...World was destroyed 1000 years ago."


Kormt: "Yes, we were told that the Yggdrasil trees allowed humanity to recover from this horrible event, but it is likely that humanity has experienced much regression as a result. "


Durapror: "Below the Etrian Yggdrasil, there was an abandoned city by the name of Lost Shinjuku, which belonged to what was once known as the country of Japan. I know not if any of these names hold any meaning to you. I've assumed from your unusual garb and mannerisms that what happened to our world never happened to yours."

 

[Ignis returns the toast with a surprisingly-delicate flute of something vibrant purple.]

 

"So as it turns out the ability to see the haunts of good old London is not particularly wide spread. I am also as one may say a little bit stuck here. I have as of yet managed to escape this here place precisely once and not for long."
He shrugs.
"My angels occassionally do visit me here however."

 

what up my world was destroyed seven years eight days and counting ago
we had a japan too but ive never been
my garb is unusual by earth standards too because it comes from something on a more cosmic scale than where i grew up
my mannerisms are probably unusual only partially cause im a millennial id bet some of it is because i spent my turbulent youth on a rock with a bunch of aliens
plus im just naturally pretty fucking weird like i bet there isnt one fucker here who hasnt done a double take at my antics

let us fondly think back to dad juice

oh dude that fuckin sucks youre the first guy ive met whos actually stuck here most of the time

who are your angels are we talking like white fluffy wings and halos or the three headed on fire kind
or the troll kind which are basically the same thing as demons

 

He looks like he's not sure if he should laugh or be offended. He eventually settles for a somewhat stiff and snide chuckle.
"I was referring to my wife and our first born child. And while I would love Theresa if she were a mass of writhing tentacles and gaping maws, I can assure you she is an outstanding specimen of numerous virtues, not least among them her beauty and outstanding manners. And given how perfect she is and the fact that I am quite a dashing gentleman myself you can surely see our beloved daughter being almost adorable enough to inspire a cult with the indigenous population of one of the colonies."

 

see the problem with my life choices is that sometimes i forget terms of endearment can exist and be normal instead of like
you chattering pasty howler monkey
sir conniption fuckbag, esquire

i know a guy with a cult
you gotta be pretty fuckin adorbs to rank up there but i dont doubt she is
whats her name

 

"The little miss is called Nephele Schuyler. She is incredibly lovely. An absolute whirlwind of energy. And looks a lot like her mother. I know for a fact my brother is jealous, not that his wife is ugly, she is simply less beautiful than Theresa."
If a waterlogged Victorian guy could literally glow with pride he would.

 

[Grinning. So much grinning. Smug jet.] No one ever compares to your own partner, am I right?