shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

GOSH, YEAH, PSIONICS DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ~*ANYTHING*~ LIKE THAT! AND I'M SURE THAT IN THE COMPLETELY LUDICROUS SITUATION THAT THEY *DID* IT WOULDN'T BE LIKE THEY COULD TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR OWN DAMN ACTIONS WITHOUT GETTING ROPED INTO A FUCKING CULT.

NO. OF COURSE NOT, HOW SILLY OF ME! THIS NOTION IS SO IDIOTIC THAT I'LL HAVE TO SHOVE MY HEAD IN A LOAD GAPER AND FLUSH TO BALANCE OUT THE STUPID SCALE.

 

Bones can hurt??? How??? What the frag???

 

-with a small groan of 'speaking from experience'- They can. My leg just finished healing after I broke the damn thing- the bone inside. Just a small fracture, not too bad fortunately. But every step even after I splinted it was a special kind of agony.

 

You can't just turn off the pain sensors???

 

ugh yeah bones can DEFINITELY hurt
idk what skeletors deal is but breaking them hurts like a bitch do not recommend

oh man i wish but dissociation is frowned upon in most circles

 

Diswhatnow

 

Sort of? I had painkillers, but they're something I have to take and they only work for so long.

That too.

'Dissociaction.' When you... stop being fully aware of yourself. Pain does it. So does emotional distress. Like if I had to fight off a hoard with my broken leg- which I did a few times. The pain would fade out because it was a distraction. It was still there, just not screaming for attention. Because of the way our brains work if you need to do it a lot it'll happen in non-life-threatening situations and kinda fuck you up.

 

man im not a psychologist this is gonna be a shit explanation so fuckin
bear with me

its like partitioning your brain sort of
so like if youre getting your ass beat in a way thatd lead to broken bones its helpful to be able to like
not be you for a second and sort of pretend its a third person survival horror and you are piloting the protagonist
but doing thats not exactly great cause surprise surprise feeling like youre not a real person during normal time causes problems

oh shit nvm much better explanation

 

Wait slag there's a name for that
Okay cool
I mean not cool that it's really the only way besides administering a blocker to stop hurting but
TIL???

 

Brains are weird, man. Fascinating, kinda shitty sometimes, but weird.

No worries about offending me by finding it neat. I'm dissolving a zombie corpse inna vat to see what happens. It's gonna be gross, but maybe awesome.

 

....Brains being weird wasn't the cool part but yeah sure whatever let's go with that. What kinda solvent you got in with your corpsebuddy?

 

glad to be of service educating the metallic masses

you got pics video a portal to the vat room some way for me to see this fuckin spectacle
are you gonna do anything with the bones you should definitely do something sick with them
mount them on your wall maybe put the carpals in a jar or arrange them in some sort of fucking abstract statement piece announcing to any ragged passerby that whoever lives here is a crazy fucker

 

I found a bunch of pure sulphuric acid they were using for cleaning in the former quarantine zone. Pretty serious stuff.

 

Niiiiiice. We use that in small bits for spice but yeah 's pretty damn corrosive that'll melt him right down.

 

I hadn't considered taking pictures 'cause I haven't really gotten on with any of the other survivors. Mostly I just wanna see what happens- these zombies are weird and something's up so I wanna do a Science. Next time I do a town run I'm getting some scrap metal so I can make a dissection table, too. Sadly with the zombocalypse on I'm gonna have to be practical- if the bones aren't too soft/don't get liquified with the rest they'll probably go to arrowheads. There's a good bit of game around here and unlike some idiots I'm not stupid enough to use goddamn firearms when the hoards are drawn to noise.

Hopefully! Like I said, shit's weird. I haven't seen a lot of resistance when I cut up corpses after they're double-dead but maybe a dissolve will show something. They're way too strong and tough when alive though, especially after being sick for so long.

 

does melting the undead count as science im getting more of a necromancy witch vibe
bubble bubble kiddies beware my cauldron of misery you see that floating there
yeah thats a finger and if you misbehave i will dunk you in there too
adds flavor your youth will make the broth robust

also have your people considered swords cause if you can get some theyre pretty good for being quiet if you dont mind getting close and personal with the shuffling throng
not so great for hunting but then at least youre not using arrows on the zombies

 

-laughs- Nah that's not how my magic goes. Maybe I should wear the witch hat I found when I check on it though.

I have my axe instead because swords aren't great for breaking into places. Once I build my forge I'm definitely making a sword for the house though. I need more blade for slicing-dicing. An axe head just doesn't isn't as satisfying, even with the curve-of-cleave I gave it.

 

oh shit have you actually got magic
i thought stuff like that kind of contrasted with the GRITTY REALITY of zombie apocalypse bullshit
also i would definitely wear the witch hat approximately all of the time looking the part is half the battle
take some bones thatre too squishy or tiny to make into arroheads and wear them around your neck

its a little over the top SURE but im positive a not-necromancy witch can pull it off

but yeah re the swords if youve got an axe thats pretty good too
id just watch out for any of your freshly made future swords breaking that shit is such a fucking bitch
stabbing something with the broken shards works in a pinch but it sucks about as hard as a kid trying to get the last of his shrektacular mcflurry
that radioactive shit is limited edition do not waste a DROP

 

A little magic. Not enough to make the zombocalypse not a horror show, just enough to make me a little more likely to survive. I'd rock the shit out of the witch hat all the time but it won't fit over the hard hat, and cranial protection is more important. About half the survivors I've found have tried to kill me, I don't know how many concussions I've been spared by the ugly thing.

I'll keep that in mind. I've found a few shitty broken katanas from people who thought their Ebay knockoffs would protect them from the hoards.

 

too bad you havent got an alchemiter i bet itd make something like
wizardly cone of +3 arcane noggin shielding
that or a traffic cone with like
a chin strap

whyre all your survivor buddies trying to kill you thats so fucking stupid yes lets try and reduce the human population even more i see no downsides to this

i am so fucking done with shitty katanas man im a shitty welsh sword man now
the nigh incomprehensible jumble of consonants really gets me going