shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

yo
wheres dirk i wanna start a club

 

Dirk? I don't know a Dirk. Name's Marcus, nice to meet you...?

 

dirk is my brotherdad im attempting to summon him via the arcane methods of mentioning his name repeatedly until he shows up so we can start a badass guys with badass eyewear club
dirk dirk dirk dirk dirk
anyway hi im dave

 

Brotherdad huh? That's fucked up, yo. I think? Not sure. Anyway, badass eyewear indeed. I've even got a motherfucking prescription to be badass.

 

Oh no. Is it curable?

 

it is so many levels of fucked up you would not believe
i mean like genetically its less fucked up but i havent even brought up my lab daddy slash best friend ever yet
im the test tubiest of test tube babies
fundies look at me and spontaneously pop blood vessels and or have heart attacks depending on the time of day and whether or not im engaging in illicit pda which is of course a rare treat that really gets em goin

 

I feel like this is an insult... But the answer is no.

 

Yoooo I didn't know humans did cold construction
I mean not directly obvs you don't have sparks to freeze but hey lab-created freaks of nature unite

 

>@ Aww c'mon if I was such a badass alternian would I really wanna keep hanging out in alien weirdo central?
>@ This is a surprise to precisely no one, lovey.
>@ And I am pretty strong, I can bench press boulders if you'd like.
>@ Don't mean I gotta get involved in every idiotic bulge measuring contest i come across.
>@ Turns out my pan's not just a place to grow sweet hair on.

>@ Eh, I don't like to wear them much, my other ganderbulb shields are actually functional and you can't really see what you're doing with the shades on.
>@ I can be an honorary part time member of your weird club thing?
[He shrugs, though he eyes the new arrival a little cautiously as well. Tall freaky aliens, probably adults. He's not gonna start a fight with either of them.]

 

Holy fuck, that's beautiful. You really want to fuck them up do shit like random PDA while blowing shit up. That really pisses them off. The Gay Agenda(tm) at work.

 

i mean my whole group was kind of a special circumstance but
are we even freaks of NATURE if we got made in a lab
more like freaks of sentient races incessant desire to fuck with shit until something happens amirite

yes absolutely you can be my padawan
i will teach you the secrets to the universe and the lost art of coolness

my pda is never random im a flirt ninja
this hand holding has at least seventeen layers of subtlety and hidden meaning to it dog im creating a whole new language just by how and when and where i grip this dudes hand
but the only thing im blowing up is the metaphorical heads of hypothetical fundies when they catch wind of that romance shit

 

Slag you are right what was I thinking
No hotspots no blacksmiths we emerge fully formed and ready to be used by our creators like men

Also far be it from me to stop a guy from making his own secret language with his partners but you know you don't gotta reinvent the wheel right? Chiro already exists, I can pass some learning modules on if you want

 

Get on my level dude, my flirting is so subtle that it might as well be fourth dimensional.

Sign language?

 

>@ Sick bro, teach me your ways.
[Nervous laugh. The nervousest laugh. Spidergoatdad where are you????]

 

I mean that too but that's a lot more visible
Chiro-- chirolinguistics or chirolingual communication whichever-- is literally what Dave just described though
Hold either one or both hands with fingers interlaced and apply varying levels of pressure to palm knuckles and fingers to make words or concepts
There's some big gestures obviously but on the whole it's a lot more stealth than full-arm gestures like sign

 

youre my favoritest transformer now
im swooning

yes give me some and also how dare you imply i would lower myself to such a level as to use a method of communication more than two people understand
flirt
ninja

oh dont worry the hand holding is only there so the fundies have something to twist their knickers with
most of my pda is done on the astral plane

[dave purses his lips in thought. this is some weird-ass troll bullshit, he's sure, but what exact kind of weird-ass troll bullshit and thus how to proceed escapes him. where's karkat when you need him, man?]
the first secret is that if you sniff your aj real subtle like before you take a swig you can tell whether or not its piss
this is a valuable life skill

 

Chiro and sign tend to be very difficult for lots of people.
[Refractor waves his three fingered hands sadly.]

 

Ah, that seems useful. I wish I could pull more information out of this place into my world, because I'd totally teach Josh that. I think he'd appreciate it.

Oh hey have you been to that one flirt-joint up there with the sick-nasty pizza?

HOLY SHIT! You are badass as hell looking! That's so cool!

 

[Ghazal narrows his eyes at him just a fraction. What.]
>@ I will keep it in mind, of great one, oh grand master of sicknasty coolness.
[... He continues idly spinning with his drop spindel though. The motion looks more like he's doing it to comfort himself than he actually focuses on it.]

 

[STARTLED WINGFLARE????]
Thanks???????
Refractor chose cheaper hands instead of waiting longer for resources. Doing stuff without hands is hard...