shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

... so, are you saying that you only fuck murderers? Or just that you're really not attracted to me? Or, well, both?

 

youre welcome i guess
no one appreciates boner boot camp
you never know how valuable a flagpole made of solid steel can be til theres a storm yo
what if you get ready to rumble and theres teeth where teeth shouldnt ever be

boner boot camp baby
nothing will wilt your one eyed wank weasel

 

... my dick'll get chomped off?

 

Oh sweety, attraction has very little to do with it. I just know how to maximize both fun and profit for myself and since you don't exactly fall in my usual scene, you'll have to prove that you're worth my time.
It's not like I'm giving you permission to formally court me or any such nonsense, don't flatter yourself.

 

thats quitter talk

 

Your usual scene?

 

Did you miss the part where I called myself a muse of high arts?

 

Nope. I just didn't get how it related to your 'usual scene.' I honestly just thought you were talking about kinky stuff, BDSM, that kinda thing, you know?

 

-Polly cackles, from where he's lounging on a wall that hadn't been there a moment ago-
Pretty birdy there ain't int'rested 'less you're gonna paint pretty pictures an' buy him pretty shoes an' then stab a guy with a paintbrush handle 'cos you're so obssessed with him ain't nobody allowed to say 'hi' without bleedin'.

 

It's also true.

... oh.

 

Yeh. Me an' Paul only get a pass 'cos we got certain speshul talents. -vulgar smirk-

 

*occupies himself with imagining what those talents might be*

 

-Polly makes a descriptive sort of a gesture, and laughs- 'M a cat an' Paul's a wolf, sure y'c'n guess.

 

*grins* Yeah. That's pretty informative.

 

oh murr

 

That an' we're good bodyguards. -vague shrug- An' I nick him shoes.

-lazy wink-

 

[Teggy is very much bored with Norm and instead flips his hair out of the way to smile briliantly at Polly, opening his arms demandingly]
What, the love of my life won't give me a good morning kiss?

 

-Polly flops onto the couch, hauling Teggy onto his lap and kissing him thoroughly- Flatterer.

 

Glad someone ´ppreciates it!

Bite me big guy.

 

[Yeah teggy is just going to colonize Polly's lap and set permanent residence up there, returning the kiss enthusiastically.]
It's not flattery when it's true!