shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

︎□︎■︎︎⧫︎ ●︎□︎♍︎&︎ ♋︎■︎⍓︎□︎■︎♏︎ ♏︎●︎⬧︎♏︎ ♋︎⬥︎♋︎⍓︎. ︎□︎■︎︎⧫︎. ⚐︎❒︎ ✌︎❒︎❍︎□︎❒︎⍓︎ ♋︎■︎♎︎ ❍︎♏︎ ⬥︎♓︎●︎●︎ ♐︎♓︎■︎♎︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎❍︎ ♋︎■︎♎︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎ ⬥︎♓︎●︎●︎ ♌︎♏︎ ♓︎■︎ ⧫︎❒︎□︎◆︎♌︎●︎♏︎✏︎

Spoiler

Don't lock anyone else away. Don't. Or Armory and me will find them and you will be in trouble!

 

[He notices the badge, not in much better state than his own Decepticon badge] You were with the Autobots? [Once upon a time that would have been reason enough to fight her, but it's been so long since he was involved in the war, a war that's over for all he knows and that went on for far too long anyways]

I would prefer if the local lifeforms didn't take excessive damage during my retrieval but I understand that your swarm needs to feed, of course. [If they are to fetch him, he can't exactly complain about the methods of his rescuers, can he?]

 

✋︎... ♒︎♋︎❖︎♏︎ ♌︎♏︎♏︎■︎ ⧫︎❒︎⍓︎♓︎■︎♑︎ ■︎□︎⧫︎ ⧫︎□︎. ✋︎ ♍︎♋︎■︎︎⧫︎ ⬧︎◻︎♏︎♋︎&︎ ♐︎□︎❒︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ □︎⧫︎♒︎♏︎❒︎⬧︎ ♋︎■︎⍓︎❍︎□︎❒︎♏︎.

Spoiler

I... have been trying not to. I can't speak for the others anymore.

 

[Affirmative chirp, accompanied by a nod because he's kind of lost track of who understands bug and who doesn't.]

 

-she waves a clawed hand vaguely- Once. I worked for the Senate's scientific division, before I changed and before the war, so I fell in with them mostly by default- they let me continue my research, you see. But once I changed and found my new passion, they were most rude about it! Something about the war effort, and the necessity of prioritising- well, the war barely interested me at all, so I left. Found my planet, this interesting new pronoun that I prefer- have never looked back!
-she says it as though it was incredibly simple to merely walk away- which for her, it was-

 

❄︎♏︎●︎●︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎❍︎ ♓︎♐︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎ ⬧︎♏︎♏︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎❍︎✏︎

Spoiler

Tell them if you see them!

 

⚐︎■︎ ❍︎⍓︎ ⬧︎◻︎♋︎❒︎&︎︎ ✋︎ ⬥︎♓︎●︎●︎.

Spoiler

On my spark, I will.

 

im one of a kind baby
ok theres eight of us but im the best one

[he takes the datapad and skims through it, mumbling nonsense to himself as he absorbs the information]

you wouldnt happen to have any pictures of your beautiful crimes against nature would you
cause i really wanna see ngl
do you have any favorites like theyre probably all your sweet precious sweet dear babies but are any maybe a little higher up on the sugar ladder
i like the ones that look like asshole poultry the best like a bunch of em resemble birds but the REALLY bird lookin ones yknow
caudipteryx
avimimus
anchiornis is really good
like chickens except the rage has an outlet in the form of teeth and talons and its magical

 

what in the fresh hell am i listening to right now
scree scree clang clang they seem to be communicating something but god only knows what or how

 

-smug snort- ✌︎⧫︎ ●︎♏︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎ ⧫︎♋︎●︎&︎ ◻︎❒︎□︎◻︎♏︎❒︎.

Spoiler

At least you talk proper.

 

[Updraft nods as well, smiling. That's hopefully universal enough to get across any language barriers]

That sounds... remarkably easy, I don't think most people would have such an easy time to get out from under the senate's thumb. [But it's hard to argue with something that's so long ago, and well, he doesn't really want to fight her or anything of the kind, even if it seems quite unfair that she got to walk away like that when so many others had to die for it.] But I suppose it would be quite hard to stop you from going where you wanted to go.

 

hi me
were talking about dinosaurs get your ass in this
one of them has a park where they create abominations we should visit
daves only field trip

 

Primal Vernacular, Old Cybertronian, ancient alien robot language, whatever you want to call it. Am I right if I guess your name is Dave? Mine is Onyx.

✋︎︎❖︎♏︎ ♌︎♏︎♏︎■︎ ❒︎◆︎♎︎♏︎ ♏︎■︎□︎◆︎♑︎♒︎ ⧫︎□︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎ ♋︎●︎❒︎♏︎♋︎♎︎⍓︎︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ●︎♏︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎ ✋︎ ♍︎♋︎■︎ ♎︎□︎ ♓︎⬧︎ ⬧︎◻︎♏︎♋︎&︎ ♋︎ ●︎♋︎■︎♑︎◆︎♋︎♑︎♏︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎︎❒︎♏︎ ♐︎●︎◆︎♏︎■︎⧫︎ ♓︎■︎ ⬥︎♒︎♓︎●︎♏︎ ⧫︎❒︎⍓︎♓︎■︎♑︎ ⧫︎□︎ ♋︎◻︎□︎●︎□︎♑︎♓︎⬧︎♏︎.

Spoiler: translate

I've been rude enough to you already; the least I can do is speak a language you're fluent in while trying to apologise.

 

You understand! They are all such precious things, I couldn't- hmm.
-she pulls a hand across the air in a strange gesture and summons up an image of a vast underground cavern, huge enough to apparently have its own little ecosystem with plants and everything, and just covered in dinosaurs. Some roam free, others have their own areas, still others fly; some look very much like the best modern reconstructions of dinos, others look like they've have their genetics chopped up and thrown in a blender-

 

yo
thats right up our alley hot dang
that sound sick as pea soup sloppily slung from a possessed daughters soon to be exorcised backwards head
sign me slash us the hell up
is this a mad science type scenario where little dino abominations crawl from eggs looking all hells of cute or is it more a splice together two disparate halves of a fully grown beast scenario. like i know theres gotta be some mad science going on in here but what unholy flavor is it taking on

 

I try my best to encourage my dinos to breed naturally! Although I may take the eggs to play with the DNA while they are incubating...

 

[dave forgets himself for a moment and covers his mouth with his hands. he spends the next several moments just staring at the image, taking it all in]

im so fucking jealous right now
howd you do this man its fucking incredible like im about to lose my goddamn shit with the heavy burden of knowledge that im here and not there
just start spewing waste every which way like a goddamn diarrhea fountain
look out kiddies here comes the flood

all the mad science dogg if you got a science flavor in mind they got it
its like a fuckin coke freestyle of cool ass prehistoric motherfuckers sidle the hell up and serve yourself an ice cold cup of the coolest dino oc you can imagine
or i guess a fuckin pushmipullyu no ass ungodly disaster that ever had the misfortune to be born
i want all the dubiously ethical shenanigans
fuck im gettin worked up just thinking about some feathery asshole spitting fire at my underprepared security guards
how could this have happened i whisper to the burning remains of my cool island park
folly of fucking man

 

yep thats right howd you guess
probably had something to do with the alter dave wandering around here before i came in
or maybe im the alter dave
who is dave prime, do we know and do we care, unlikely on both counts
anyway
cool
guessin that language is older than my species and/or beyond human comprehension, that tends to be how these things go, y/n

 

-Retort just swells with pride, drawing herself up and making an odd hummy-clicky noise of pleasure-
While I would prefer not to deal with your waste, you are now more than welcome to visit! You will appreciate my dear children! I have worked so hard on them- it helps to build these things when you have a few million years at your disposal, you know. -she winks, both with the eye on her humanoid face and the eye on the top of her dino-kibble face- Sowing the seeds for the vegetation was perhaps hardest, I of course had to reconstruct those as well and ensure they would grow with less light than they are used to...

 

hell
fucking
yes
im not exaggerating when i say that if i have to wait much more than 45 seconds to get all up on this shit i will literally project onto the astral plane from vibrating too hard with anticipation
that and/or piss myself and/or kill a man
point is we need to be there yesterday greeting gods bastard children