shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

jesus ok
who here ISNT ass deep in creation myth horseshit
so does everybody else know whats gonna happen or are you p much the only one thats accepted it

 

Mm... I've told them our first solution wasn't permanent. Whether they care or remember after several billion years...

 

thats kinda how it normally goes isnt it like hey this attempt is gonna fail harder than if you put me in a calculus class and just said go for it
but theyre stubborn and do it anyway
so it plays out how it was always supposed to

 

Mhm. Good for stable loops and the continuation of the universe... Not so much for the survival of any given iteration.

 

fuckin tell me about it

 

[She blinks, thinking about this.]
Well as far as "winning" a four million year war is possible I suppose the autobots did. For all the good it did them, because Lord Starscream ended up elected ruler of New Iacon and by extension Cybertron. Megatron has switched sides- he wears a red badge now. Optimus Prime apparently fancies himself a conquerer now. We have recovered contact with ancient colonies, each of which has sent a delegation to go along with our diplomatic mission.
[She shrugs. She... has gotten decent at pretending she isn't still two steps from bloody murder whenever Megatron gets mentioned.]

 

"Oh, stop worrying, Onxai, we've won! We'll have millions of years to think of a more permanent solution!" And yet here we are, billions of years later, scattered across the galaxies, still no plan and half of us dead or--

--Hand on a hoverboard, really? Those two, I swear...

 

[Updraft blinks and then slowly lifts the hand not still in Refractor's hand to his face to pinch the bridge of his nose] You are quite serious, aren't you? That is... of all the things I had imagined to have happened while I was stuck, this is not something i had come up. [If asked a century ago, he would have rated 'personal involvement of Unicron on the battlefield' to be a more likely set of circumstances]
I am glad that the war is over and that the colonies are not longer lost [Even if he recalls mostly myths about them then any historical records] but that is... a lot to digest even if one has been removed from it for three million years.

 

[When did a big red seeker show up? He certainly is sprawled nearby, and he raises a hand in the laziest wave ever.] Left the fight early bros? I'm pretty sure it's been more than three million years since I died, but...

[Ignis is just going to. Ignore mention of Megatron switching sides. That would never happen, clearly Nichrome's joking.]

 

[He startles and looks at the other flier, wings flared wide and probably nearly knocking Nichrome over.] Not that I had any say in my removal from the fight, but you could say that, I guess.
[Regardless, that sure is a seeker, a rather big one at that, and it can't hurt to be polite and well, Updraft has a lot of talking and socializing to get out of his system] My name is Updraft, what is yours?

 

I mean, I didn't have any say in getting blown up either, but you don't look quite dead so "ghost bros" wouldn't have worked. [He snickers, wings relaxed and friendly; the Decepticon sigil still shines on the flat of one.] Ignis of Vos, Aerial Corps, tr-- uh, formerly trined to Dynamo and Barrage.

 

You don't look terribly dead, either if I may say so [Nope, looks shiney. Not exploded at all, or deceased for that matter.] But yes I am alive, just quite stranded in the middle of organic nowhere. [He smiles, wings settling in a loose spread. He's totally not showing off his wingspan or the little vanity projects he'd worked into them over the years, erratic patterns that shimmered like mother of pearl but were only visible if he held his wings just so]

 

Ehhh, you hang out in the Well for a while you learn how to spot your neighbors. Or I went completely fraggin' glitched after taking an incendiary to the undercarriage, whichever you wanna believe! [He shrugs, apparently unconcerned with this option.] Sucks you're stranded, though, hope you get picked up soon.

...is it totally weird if I say you're really pretty? Like, I wouldn't change my own getup for anything short of winning the war-- [besides his badge Ignis is red and gold, probably a massive contrast to woodwork--] but it works for you, man, what kinda mods are those? You do 'em yourself?

 

Yeah I am working on some arrangements to get me retrieved.
[He smiles, wings quivering up in delight at the compliment] Thank you, yes I did! The planet I am stranded on is organic so metal supplies for self-repair were a bit short. I learnt how to adjust organic to my needs and well [he gestures at the wings] I had a lot of time and prettying myself up let me pass some of it. I'm very pleased to know that someone else would like them, too. You are quite fetching yourself. [He's always been weak for the flashy ones, and red/gold is such a good combination, Ignis looks fairly glowing]

 

Awww, thanks! [He flutters his wings, grinning.] I'm pretty sure it's all dreamstuff or imagination or whatever at this point, but I had a great detailer while I was alive.

That's all organic though, for real? I never would've guessed, it looks so sturdy!

 

[He laughs] Well that dreamstuff is certainly working out for you, if you were any prettier I would be too shy to talk to you.

[He angles his wings forward to let Ignis get a better look] I havn't tried it out in battle against another mech, but at least theoretically it's almost as good as metal plating. Not as hard but flexible [He demonstrates by pressing down on one of the wooden sections on his arm, showing the wood bending inwards only to spring back into shape the moment he lets go] Though for the wings I was mostly worried about it looking good and not interfering with aerodynamics.

 

Huh! [Ignis leans in, tilting his head to see how the patterns catch the light or vanish at certain angles.] That is the neatest thing, seriously, when you get off your jailplanet I bet you could make a decent bit off this kind of work.

 

[He preens and flutters his wings, plating puffing up up a bit with pride] You think so? I would have to move some of my production stock but you think people might be interested in this? [he eyes along the expanse of Ignis' wings, trying to imagine how a pattern could be laid out on them, maybe in a more golden tone?] I would offer it to you, but you said you don't want to change your look.

 

I mean, even if I did I'm kind of a gentle dusting of shrapnel on Osmion IV unless my trine managed to recover any of the pieces, not much of me to mod outside of this little dreamplace. [He shrugs, grinning a little; what can ya do?] But yeah, I dunno how much tastes have changed in the last three million-odd years but I bet there's still plenty of people up for some glitz!

 

I actually did mean in this ah, dreamplace, considering that I am still stuck on an outback planet with the pickup being way off. Might as well use my time here to do something besides talk? [He's never even attempted this on anyone but himself, experiments in some pocketdimension dreamplace might not be very scientific but at least they'd be interesting. And he certainly wouldn't mind a chance to get his hands all over those pretty red wings] But I do seem to have noticed a few other mechs around here with blinged up plating. [he chuckles]