shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Nah I'd definitely remember you! I haven't been around much lately but hey apparently I picked the best time to come back! Venture of Petrohex at your service! Where'd you get that modwork done it looks fraggin' sweet like for real is that even metal?

 

Yo! Sciencebro!

-she's vanished and reappeared. The bandages have changed again; only her forearms are wrapped instead of her whole arms. There are stitched wounds showing through the holes in her clothes, on her chest and stomach-

 

Yo! Zombie chick! You look better!

 

... If they don't fight can I? I'm bored. Pitfights used to involve a lot more punching and a lot less complaining.

 

I mean I ain't complaining cap "Nichrome kicked someone's aft again" would at least make something for Ratio to sell off even if your opponent's odds are so long it's not even worth running a pool :p

 

[He laughs] Updraft, formerly of Polyhex and those mods are my own make. And no they aren't metal at all. Those are wooden [he gestures at his arm] and these are an organic produced calcium compound [he flares his Wings with no small amount of pride. It's nice to know that people appreciate all his hard work and innovention]

 

Daaang! [Venture leans in to look, barely even noticing his own grin.] That is some rad iridescence you've got going on your wings Curls'd be so jealous-- you mind if I save the visual data from this? One of my trinemates is a frame artist and detailer he'd love to see your work but I dunno when he'll be here next--

 

thats capitalism man
i sashay onto the tv screen covered in ugly fuckin artifacted merch and shake my ass like my life depends on it cause a guys gotta feed his family
and by family i mean the other players not the fuckin
insane amount of the human population thats related to me
anyway
the clientele
they want my booty

 

Capitalism sucks come be a space hippie

 

are you suggesting i leave my beautiful wife behind
how dyou pay child support for approximately an eighth of the entire human population

 

Nah man bring your entire planetary family it's cool
We're having a population boom anyway it may as well include aliens

 

sick
do you have space weed
cant be a proper hippie commune without illicit substances

 

I mean if someone hasn't snuck drugs on and/or made their own new and exciting variety of intoxicant I'll strip my paint

 

hell yes ok im ready to pack my bags
drag the missus and the kids out of suburbia and into the real world without so much as a pause to explain
get a divorce a month later cause wifey cant handle the constant fucking ganja stink and
gasp
kiddies are going to public school
but i dont give a shit and not just cause im so high ive left this dimension
im free

 

I've been staying at my hideout now that I've got most everything I need. Unfortunately marauders have started showing up, but it turns out a feel a lot better about killing people who're actively being assholes than the ones who shot at me 'cause they were scared. And assholes with loud guns means I'm getting zombies in my garden, but it's still better than the hordes in town.

Corpsebro went horribly wrong. I know sulphuric acid is pretty serious, but he turned to soup by the next day. Then the fumes and the general smell chased me out of my old base.

Well, that and the asshole with the helicopter who kept leading hordes to my doorstep every few days. I swear if he finds the farm I'm going to give him a formal re-introduction to the working parts of his vehicle.

 

[He preens even more, if that's even possible, not so subtly angling himself for maximum effect] Oh no I don't mind at all! I would love to talk to talk to him when he is around next. [Yes good feed him more attention, someone's desperate here, even if Updraft is a little surprised that spparently nobody else thought to integrate organic materials before. Well at least it gets him plenty of interest]

 

-an objecttm appears in the right hight for Sawbones to whack it at Venture with her tail-

-snortlaughs- Awright but yer exolainin how you got hurt ta Triage, not me.

 

Aww, how come my dead buddy gets some dead action an' I don't?
-a skinny-built little minibot that looks like someone sliced a magpie roughly diagonally and gave him the bottom half appears, swinging his legs from his perch on the edge of Venture's pedestal-

 

[She laughs]
Flatterer!

You're implying I won't just patch whatever damage up on my own.

 

:c
I'm doing my best to make things work.