shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Well I'd be happy to volunteer my services. I might not be up to date entirely, but I have been doing a lot of surgery on myself [And honestly, it's still better than nothing even if he won't be 'officially vetted', he's got steady hands and knows his way around very finicky internals]

I suppose ordering your CMO to stand aside would be somewhat hard to manage unless one of your other captains wanted to be involved? [If he's not miscounted they got three, right?]

 

I mean hey I don't think anyone would argue! We can probably port in the skill tests come to think of it...

Yyyyep
Captain 1: the dumbaft CMO in question because what even is a normal command structure apparently Cybertron doesn't know anymore
Captain 2: Holding the bridge and ensuring our escape from the bastards we just fragged off and also still high on combat protocols
Captain 3: Crying on his trine in a cargo bay

Nichrome does her best but she is not actually a deity and can only do so much at once :P

 

Listen, "Not everyone's used to random shootouts just being part of every shore leave" s a bit more difficult to remember than one might expect.

 

Yeah, what he said.

-sights, trying not to laugh, and noofs her- silly Capt´, you´ll scare the civilians.

 

Yeah yeah blah blah total war I get it :P

 

[Thoughtful face] I think that might actually work to supply some assessment of my skills. And I have to ask... how did captain 3 get assigned this post? He doesn't seem terribly fit for it, temperamentally. Or maybe I am just used to 'Con captains. [He frowns]

[Updraft chuckles] Write a note and stick it to the shuttle doors? [Hey he's just being practical about this]

 

...is it racist if I say "Velocitron won the political race to be The Neutral captain"?

...oh sweet Primus race-ist I'm saving that one! [He laughs at his own unintentional pun.] But for real Cybertron decided we needed three "main reps" one from each side of the war to avoid skewing that mess one way or the other and one to represent both neutral Cybertronians and all the colonies. However the frag they managed it Velocitron got that spot so their rep became our third Captain.

...he's pretty and fast that's gotta count for something right?

 

I think that shuttle has eft the spaceport.

[She gently punches him in the leg] You could have been settled with a much worse 'con ambassador, believe me.

... I mean given the other problems we had that might actually help so I don't forget stuff like "With this certain type of crimelord pointing weapons at eachother is just a standard part of greeting protocoll".

 

[He bops her shoulder right back.] Yeah I coulda ended up with one who won't frag me wouldn't that be a tragedy?

 

Probably.

Yup. Trust me, I would know. -unprintable grumpling under her breath.-

-snortlaughs- that´all you ever thing about?

 

I mean it sounds like he would make a good cover to hide behind if you want to look nice and harmless. [He does however note that 'smart' is not the list of the third captain's virtues so uhhhh] I understand why they would pick the factions like this and three is a good number if you want to avoid getting gridlocked but how did he specifically end up being captain.

[WAIT] ... If you say 'won a race' now I'm going to sue Velocitron for damages to my processors from facepalming too hard.

In that case you should totally stick a note on the shuttle. Several notes maybe. Write yourself a cheatsheet.

[Soft chocking noise this visual with haunt him in all the best ways now]

 

True. Though my immediate concern was more with "might be a bigger idiot than me". I know, I know that's a pretty big selection, but still.

 

I´ll have the medkit ready then.

 

[reassuringly pet the nurse cat]
Luckily no one else did end up 'con ambassador.

[She... winks at him. Shame who? Never met her.]

 

You know me doc it's either my pretty pretty face or things I'm not supposed to be talking about in front of impressionable ears ;D

Go find a lawyer buddy and make sure they're a racer

Clearly only an idiot bigger than you wouldn't want any of this. [He gestures vaguely at himself.]

 

Well that or someone completely blind, deaf and incapable of parsing tactile input.

 

You're kidding me. Who thinks that's a good reason to pick someone for the position of 'captain and diplomatic representative'?

[Updraft makes that choking sound again because oh no is Nichrome actually flirting. That's... ok on one hand that's fantastic, on the other hand his carrier coding is clocking in the overtime already just being around a mini and having said mini wink at him does not help at all. Especially when now he's also running through a mental image of Nichrome and Venture and no bad don't go there]

 

[She sighs, petting the nearest bit of his plating.]
I can stop being cruel, I'm terribly sorry.

 

Velocitron is a hellplanet for a reason bro

Spoiler: there's blunt and then there's Venture

[Singsong, and with a broad grin:] Sounds like someone wants a threesome~

 

It's fine, you didn't... my coding is a mess right now [But Nichrome should absolutely keep petting him please and thank you. That was a great idea. Pet him more.]

[sputtering, fans definitely spinning up a bit] I- that- I- You're being very forward [That did sound less inviting in his head. That absolutely did sound more like an admonishment and less like a come-hither in his head]