shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

-Guzma sends out Golisopod to snatch the mirror and use Brick Break on it.-

@Skull Grunt A , @Skull Grunt B , You two are comin' with me. There's, uh, some 'splainin' I have to do.

 

Oh no...Y-you got it, Boss.

 

We're sorry if we did anythin' wrong, Boss!

 

I might be able to do that for real. I've got silkworms and honey, and I've managed to make yogurt and cheese. If I run the generator to keep the freezer going for just a few days as a treat... -looks thoughtful and Excite-

 

It's not Boss anymore, it's ya boy, Guzma! You guys didn't do nothin' wrong, okay? Just—C'mere, all right?

 

[where did dave come from? who knows! but he is here and there is a very big, very welsh sword between the pokemon and karkat, who looks like he's .2 seconds away from tantrum liftoff]

play nice kiddos cause i believe in spanking

 

-Both Team Skull Grunts go squat down in a corner with Guzma, with Guzma making a difficult attempt to explain something to them in hushed tones.-

 

-Golisopod makes an Emergency Exit.-

 

HELL YEAH, LIVE THE FUCKING DREAM. CHASE YOUR BLISS OR WHATEVER

 

<We didn't have one! ...um. Neither of my swarms had one. The one I'm with now, all my mates, they're standards? And they're learning, but... And my first swarm got.>

[He kneads at the ground instead of clawing up anything important, elytra flicking out and closing again like he can't decide whether he wants to just fly away instead.] <We. There was a big battle. With the Autobots. Not enough living after to call a swarm, or start a new hive.>

[Excited chittering!!! There is!!! Another large bug friend!!! This is much nicer than talking about everyone dying!] <Hello hello who are you hi-->

[Thunders' optic band flickers rapidly. Did the new bug teleport? Where'd he go? Chirping hopeful greetings into the void rave, he looks around.]

 

<Fascinating.>

[Hive chitters in sympathetic distress, jumping up and down as he tries to figure out how to help. After far too long of time, he settles for putting a hand to Thunder's shoulder.] <I'm so sorry, losing a hive is horrible on it's own. But losing so many of your hive... My deepest sympathies.>

 

[Thunderwing leans into the contact, chirring a little. Pettins are good, pleas pet bug.] <It was a while ago. And I have a new swarm, and they're great! But... Thanks.>

 

You lookin' for Golisopod? He went and returned to his pokeball 'cuz things were lookin' a bit too dicey. Sometimes you gotta make a tactical retreat to make sure you stay the one who's beating down, yo, and not be the one who's gettin' beat down.

-Still squatting, Guzma sends out Golisopod again, who chitters curiously at the giant robot.-

 

I'M LOOKING FOR MY BROTHER SANS. IS HE IN ONE OF YOUR POKEBALLS?

 

What. No, what's up with you? You're not any kind of pokemon that I've ever seen, and I only keep pokemon in my pokeballs. You stupid or something?

 

ok guys we gotta rap some pokemon
you just do the singing ill take care of the hard part
lets get it on

electrode diglett nidoran mankey
venosaur rattata fearow pidgey
seaking jolteon dragonite gastly
ponyta vaporeon poliwrath butterfree

 

Catch 'em, catch 'em, gotta catch 'em all, Pokemon!

 

I'll search across the land, look far and wide. Release from my hand, the power that's inside!

 

oh my god yes

[dave then proceeds to perform the entire kanto pokerap from memory, leaving room for the grunts to sing if they wanna]

i feel kind of bad for whippin out caledfwlch now
not like existential crisis bad because when a bigass armored bug is rushing at a smaller significantly less armored bug that you know you do what you gotta do
but

 

(softly beeps in the background of the rap)