shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

-the mi looks a little surprised, maybe some stage fright. it cleans it´s face with a paw and takes a deep breath.
MiiimimimMimimimimimiii!

 

[dave is staring, but like, admiringly]

soooooo
how do you feel about photography
as in of you
not like your opinions on snaps of lakefronts or whatever
cause its not exactly 'how do you turn your lungs off' which i would fucking love to know but i'm not expecting you to be an expert on your own biology
like oh how are my eyes red without making me fucking blind idk im an ectobiological miracle

hell yeah little dude
youve got some fuckin pipes on you for such a tiny fuzzball
i can admire that shit

 

[Scanner snickers and poses like one of your french abominations]
What do you mean you can't deliberately crash your bodily functions by fucking up the calibration inputs enough, what are you, analog?

 

Yo wut we rockin' here? ~~(8:>

 

[the mixing setup is gone, replaced with a film camera]

do you know how old school i am
course im analog the craziest body mods i got are dangling from my ears im homegrown organic certified no pesticides
know a chick who used to have a robot arm but i only met her after she got the original model back

 

were rockin the house
raising the roof
with the original stylings of dave strider
get in on this shit yo

 

Boring. T-fae are modded right in our little test tube wombs for maximum efficiency and then we just never stop defying the laws of darwinism by screwing on bigger and bigger middlefingers. It's a commited lifestyle. very very culturally important.

 

SaWEEEEET LOL

 

-flops, a bit out of breath- pirrrrr

 

-giantass dragon 'borg is head-tilting, trying to figure out if Scanner's serious or not-

 

[Scanner, true to form, pulses a small ping wave to every electronic device in range. HELLO IT IS ATTENTON DEMANDING SCREAM TIME IF YOU'RE A CYBER BEING]

 

-slow blinking- -Very Politely- I'm sorry, my translator didn't catch that.

 

*deep long-suffering sigh*

No. It's not. It's really not.

 

the robojunk opportunities you must have im a little in awe
this is my three foot long neon purple light up dick and it shoots confetti instead of jizz are you turned on yet
cause i am

 

...haven't felt that in a while. Hello to you too.

 

[He flinches] What was that?

 

Commline ping. Open broadcast, I think, but I'm... it's been a while, like I said. [Stream's knowledge totally isn't secondhand, who do you think you're talking to? What else would a dinky little flier made of filigree and mesh be good for anyway?]

 

What's a dick and what would I need one for

[cackling]
Ths is how we on Drach say "hello", as well as "fuck you" and "I'm gonna set your brain on fire". Those tend to be the same thing anyway!
[pingpiNGPING]

 

[...'you haven't achieved your third goal yet' would probably be taken as a challenge. Best not say that.]

...as I said. Ping to all open connections, in our species the general-area communications link.

 

-headtilts the other way- It seems I have a vestigial system for 'hearing' it, but any means of responding in kind was likely removed after the Return, when we discovered the global net had fallen and most satellites were no longer functional.

-considers, then pokes Scanner with a claw instead- Poke.