shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

-the friend is cleaned- pirrpirrpirrr

 

Oh no, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt the secret fifth emotion umami.

I'm still not taking the fall for you. *Sighs* And I guess I should be nice: You can't hurt people here unless they let you. Like, it's just a no go. Doesn't happen. Zilch. Can make whatever you want so let your weirdo heart go on.

 

I take no responsibility for whatever ou humans decided to write.

 

duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude
i like photography too but im not a camera (obviously) (god) so my pics probably arent as good as yours but thats stupid fucking cool
histories pretty cool but im less into the recent stuff or like the book study part in general
i mostly wanna go dig up lizard bones

ugh
im sorry man im just king of social blunders today watch me stumble into every possible sore topic there is its like
douche championships and im going for gold
is there any way to fix the stuff people fuck up or nah

yes
this is living
this is THE DREAM fucking ideal thank you tiny fuzzball

 

-this is the first thing she hears when she comes in, so she starts pulling drinks out of her hiking bag. A few beers that have been in there so long the labels are worn and starting to come off. An assload of whiskey. Four bottles of chardonnay, eight bottles of various red wines ranging from "just above boxed" to "almost the good shit." Three bottles of cider and a whole twenty goddamn bottles of applejack. Other drinks in sets of twenty motherfucking bottles: mezcal, flip, tequila, and vodka (23 bottles of vodka, actually.)

How does all that fit in her bag? Magic.-

-Today's injuries: arms and chest are wrapped in bandages again. So are parts of her legs. There are also assorted stitched-up bullet wounds in various places, not concentrated anywhere particular-

 

I accept your apology, but you should really try to do better. Glad to hear you're making strides towards self improvement.

Personally, I'm enjoying this very nice bar, which I will magnamiously allow you to access, out of the goodness of my heart. You should take advantage of that. I don't usually have enough of a heart to be good with it.

[All of the alcohol has, mysteriously, turned into peppermint schnaps inside its various containers.]

IDW's not a half bad continuity. Pain to get the trades though, most comic shops only carry one or two copies and I'm completely fucked if some other nerdlet gets there first.

 

Thanks but no thanks man, I got my beer. *raises a bottle* I've got shit taste and I know it.

I also cannot believe you said this. You were just talking about being into comics, that makes you a nerd.

 

hey
come hang out in the pussy pile and experience the feline healing powers
and maybe get shitfaced i dont know your life

 

That would be more impressive if I were 'awake' but you know what? Props for effort. I give it an 8 out of 10.

Comics and cartoons, get it right. I can't believe you aren't, your little base of operations is in a fucking games shop. Isn't that peak nerdlet? Dorkette? Geekwad? Oh, I like that. I think I'm switching from 'dork' to geekwad.

Now I just have to figure out how to work, what is it the kids are using these days, 'hipster', into it.

 

I'm more an old movies, sci fi movies, anime, computers, and D&D kind of guy. Card games too. Dark Horse has some good comics but meh, you wanna speak my language that would be 'Siska'. Or orange oozes?

 

-flops down next to him, offers a bottle of apple jack- I don't really do shitfaced a whole lot because too drunk to fight is a death wish, but I like a nice buzz. And it's a disinfectant. Not that I'm likely to run out since I hid the hospital and the old military quarantine, but it's always good to have a spare or sixty.

Do I tell him the bag of holding is real? Works a little different- I can reach through to places I've linked it to. The whiskey's in the shed and the cider's in the kitchen. Sometimes it sucks because there are spiders.

 

You are the worst kind of hipster. I hope you know that. It's obnoxious.

Convenient. Could you stuff a body in it?

 

I'm not a hipster! Everyone knows who Siska is, and even if people haven't seen older movies that's fine because they're all kind of shitty? That's why I like them? Anime is not hipster, neither is D&D. AND neither are my skinny jeans.

I fucking wear them because they make my ass look good.

Goddamn why does everyone call me a hipster

 

Oh my god, you're a weaboo too? This day just keeps getting better and better.

No, wait, let me get you a shovel before you start digging again. I don't want you to strain yourself too much.

 

... Look I can't even argue with that, I got a waifu pillow when I was seventeen.

 

You want a pickaxe to go with that shovel? Hitting bedrock's going to be hell on your wrists.

 

[Awkward shrug.]
Technically, yeah. I dunno if the reparative techniques survive, but it did actually have a short stint of positive use while everything went to the pit.

Spoiler: why is canon IDW so depressing?

But point the second in the field's disfavor: it's physically addictive and harmful to the surgeon's own systems, so good fragging luck finding anyone nowadays who wants to do that out of the goodness of his spark. Most of the surviving practitioners are either in need of their own skills or on a flaming dysfunctional train right to a painful and terrifying death.

 

Dude. I have no shame over that. My significant other also has one. I accept weaboo, I deny hipster.

 

Yes but it's a pain in the ass. Even fully unzipped the opening's a little small. It's easier if you cut it up first.

 

I'd be offended-- I died of mostly-unrelated causes, not at all because of neural backlash-- but I really can't argue that things just seem to keep getting worse. [When did another robot show up? He's slim, pale, and of indeterminate alt mode, but apparently it's time to talk about mnemosurgery so here he is.]