shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

-Notably, Wuya herself is wearing a red martial arts outfit with black trim.-

 

-She blinks.-

I thought I saw red-

Wait. A god?

-She stalks up to him, circling around him as intensely as a 14 year old girl can manage.-

Prove it.

 

[dave stands up and decaptchalogues his timetables]

yeah im a bonafide diety wassup how you feel
give me a good reason and maybe ill provide a demonstration

 

-She scoffs.-

Gods don't need props to do god things.

 

-does the Mouthful of Whispering Pearls trick, because she's feeling contrary-

 

man i dont need the smack talk but ok fine
stable loops are easy enough without em
[he recaptchalogues the timetables and raises one eyebrow]
ok miss thang gimme one reason i should fuck with time in here where its already janked as hell and no shiggles dont count

 

-The roleplayer doesn't know that trick, so you'll have to describe it.-

Well obviously props can be used, but that's got nothing to do with godhood. That wasn't even impressive.

 

-She flicks a lock of hair over her shoulder and gives him her best arrogant look.-

To prove you can, of course. Without any Wus!

 

ughhhh my fucking egos gonna be the death of me
or one of them lmao immortality jokes
alright whatever just know that if this was real life and not a weird dream space i would not even be TOUCHING the temporal flow

[there's a flash of red light next to dave, and Dave 2 The Davening shows up. they high five, and then dave 1 original flavor says:]

see now that was just a tiny loop so i have to go back a few seconds and be him

[dave 1 disappears in a flash of that same light, leaving dave 2 all by his lonesome]

 

...okay, that was pretty impressive.

How'd you do that?

 

=[) I DON'T CARE WHICH OF YOU LOW6LOODS YOU SAY KILLED HER!
=[) 'CUZ THERE IS NOOOOOO WAY THAT EVER HAPPENED!
=[) I CAN'T 6ELIEVE IT!
=[) I REFUSE TO 6ELIEVE IT!
=[) IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!!!!!!

 

-it's exactly what it sounds like: her tongue has been replaced by a string (or several strings?) of pearls in every possible color. All of them whisper secrets just too low to understand clearly. Somehow she manages not to swallow or choke on them, because deity. Last time she did this a certain Crystal Gem was very uncomfortable, so Unspoken hasn't done it for a while-

 

...i know someone here who caused the gnarly trauma looming behind someone else...does that count..?

 

-Wuya just raises an eyebrow. That looks inconvenient. Or maybe just a glamor? She's almost figured out how to do glamors from sneaking books from the temple library.-

 

told you
im a god
comes with the package

 

That's not god tier, though. I could do that, if I wasn't another element entirely.

 

is godtier tho

[dave is snickering]

what you want man cause id rather not get stabbed just to prove ill come back and kickstarting a planet with ya space gal is kind of a special occasion

 

You come back if you're stabbed??

 

sure why not i mean you probably gotta be pretty fucked up yourself to fuck someone else that hard

 

[karkat sighs]

OK? WHATEVER, MAN. I'M NOT GOING TO FLING MYSELF AGAINST THE COLD IRON WALL OF DENIAL.