shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

So.... at parties? Or just around town? I mean the helmet, sure, I'm assuming there's some kind of hack n slash LARP sort of shenanigans here, but don't people ask questions? Like 'where's the party' or 'how much money do you have' or 'what anime character is that'?

Thanks sweetheart, you're a peach.

 

ur whalecum ~~(8:>

 

What would you do if I told you that somewhere out there, there's a guy named Deadmau5 who's not only selling better than you, but he's also alive? Tragic, being upstaged like that, I know, but it happens sometimes.

 

EW, I DON'T WANT TO BE THE PROXY IN YOUR SPADESFLIRTING.

*NO ONE* GIVES A SHIT ABOUT MY INANE BABBLE, YOU SINGULAR MONUMENT TO THE CONCEPT OF "SMUG AND STUPID." THAT'S THE MAGIC OF IT, SEE! I COULD HAVE SOLVED CASTEISM, WORLD HUNGER, YOU NAME IT...AND NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW, BECAUSE IT'S BURIED UNDER A MILE OF SHRIEKING AND THINGS I REGRET TWO SECONDS AFTER SAYING THEM.

 

diff universe mang, not my fault shit's weird. I mean good for him tho, I heard his music is p dang hot too. y the fuk would that bother me? does it bother u? Are u bothered by being upstaged? i kno i'm superior to anyone that was around when I was around.

WAIT. did u say Pierce? Like the aiden variety? cuz answer me this: who tha FUK dressed that man?

 

Yeah, sorry not sorry, it's happening now. Thanks for the great material, this is going to be good for months of entertainment.

 

Nah, I was just feeling out the waters with the whole 'mouse identity' thing. You seem like the kind of guy who gets defensive about people stealing your look.

Anyways, I'm pretty sure he dresses himself, which is the problem. The man hasn't got any taste. You've met him, obviously, which means you have to have encountered his personality on some level. Like, take one look at that sad, ugly jacket and his sad, ugly face and tell me that the two were not fated to be on some level.

 

-a small bolt will fall on Jordi unless he does something-

Well, good to know I´m in great company, now eat a mile of shut the frag up.

 

*rat
usually doesn't happen. not gonna say some chucklefuk that was born in a diff world fukkin stole my shit. I ain't that crazy.

he.... is rly bad at his job. I was just fukkin w/ him to get at some chick he knew and he chased me right? was fun as hell, fucker fell for bait and switch primo. i didn't even hide that I had a fukkin double there, i usually do. killed double then just... stopped? i mean I put the info on the double cause I won, made him do a dumb, but fucker thought I was dead even tho i preformed the next night???

 

-affirmative squeak- Being a mouse is all very well but mice and rats are not at all the same.

 

[He steps to the side, but also moves his bar three inches back so the bolt doesn't scratch the wood. Fuck you, ceiling cat.]

Yeah, like I said. Mouse. They're basically the same thing, some kind of breed of hamster, or whatever the fuck the originator species was. I'm gonna say hamster.

He's not always the brightest. Probably realized you weren't dead, but if you gave him whatever dumb shit he wanted for his revenge quest, then he was off dealing with that. I think his sister left town too. Maybe that's what he was doing, ruining her life for shits and giggles? I dunno, he'd stopped talking to me after the Rossi-Fremont thing and just blew off my warning, so I figure he was off doing some stupid shit for no reason.

 

Hell yea little man

Evolution's not that easy my man. Rats ain't mice, rats are cooler and have bigger brains and also are just fukkin awesome. don't make me make this stupid place school you on the evolutionary heritage of the noble rat.

cause he's a dik. I got what I wanted, let him know clara was betraying him. don't think he did fuck about it until she died or somethin'.

 

Uh-huh, sure. I'm pretty sure there's not any real difference. Big ears, dumb noses, long tails, squeak. They're really not that special.

He's pretty dumb about people betraying him. Has the weirdest moral compass, which is stupid-- I say 'stop making decision based on your bullshit ethics' and he hears 'mow down twenty civilians and then get squeamish about doing one bad fixer contract', who the fuck thinks like that?

Didn't bother tracking me down after the lighthouse thing though, so I'll take it. Pretty funny how he went after his old boyfriend or whatever though.

 

THERE IS SUCH A THING AS BEATING A DEAD HOOFBEAST. THERE'S REALLY ONLY SO FAR YOU CAN RIDE ANATOMICAL HUMOR BEFORE IT STARTS TO DRY UP AND GET BORING.

WELL, SINCE YOU ASKED SO NICELY! NO.

 

-more bolts, aiming for the bar-

 

-a bolt for Karkat too!- Frag you

 

lmao well there's that??? he's a loser and a shit hacker

that's quitter talk

 

Excuse me! -offended rat-

 

The fun isn't in the jokes, it's in how badly he takes them. It's going to drive him up the wall. I bet he makes one of those crazy conspiracy boards for me, all itty bitty paper news articles and SHAMEGLOBES??? written in red pen on his motel wall.

Oh man, maybe I'll get pictures of it too. That's the fucking dream right there.

[The bar, like Jordi, is very good at dodging them. Sometimes by simply bending around them, in a very organic and disturbing sort of way. Jordi does not appear to notice.]

I'll take your word for it. On the other hand, you're a shit survivor, so I guess he technically comes out on top somewhere. He'd have to find his niche sooner or later, I guess.

[Jordi does not appear to notice the talking rat, either. Fucking dreams, man.]

 

thats fair....

At least i died laughin'! *finger guns*