shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

[he sidesteps it at the last minute (not to be cool, because he didn't notice it until then) and starts cussing up a storm]
OH, OF COURSE! FUCKING CREEPS LURKING IN THE FUCKING VENTS, PELTING PEOPLE WITH CHUNKS OF METAL WHENEVER THEIR IRE GETS SPARKED, BUT *OHHHH NOOOOOOOO* I'M THE BAD GUY HERE, THE OOZING PUSTULE ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET WON'T SHUT HIS GODDAMN TRAP SO LET'S DROP THINGS ON HIM UNTIL HE GETS THE HINT. DIPLOMACY!

THAT'S WIGGLER TALK

[karkat totally does not pause his tantrum to snicker at the image of a shameglobe conspiracy]

 

Was it the chemicals? I bet it was the chemicals. They do that. Probably should have checked your mixture before gassing yourself with it.

 

Nah, it was probably the drugs I already had in my system. I was pretty high and pretty high on getting revenge if u kno what I mean. Trynna kill that fuk was a rush, didn't sleep for like three days. fukking baller.

i'd say 'i'll wriggle you' but idk tf you mean

 

Aaaand you died. Good job! This is why we don't get intoxicated right before implementing our massive revenge plan, okay kiddies?

Also don't get involved in massive revenge plans. It's annoying, it's dumb, and it's never going to work out like you wanted it to. Best case scenario, you're dead, worst case scenario, you cause the complete collapse of the criminal empire in the city while also shutting down emergency services in a crucial moment, leading to a miasma of fear that permeates the place for years after while the many crumbled bits of gangs infight with skyrocketing bodycounts. Revenge: not even once.

 

that's fair, cant say i was rly caring about anyone else in the whole thing. killed my brother blah blah blah sad story u dont care about.

anyway apparently ray is in san fran or smth, wuttever. pisses me off but m'ded! bein a ghost ain't really a good thing i dont think

 

GOOD PLAN. A WIGGLER IS A JUVENILE TROLL

 

that coulda been a big miss steak. glad i deftly avoided that.

 

theyre not the only thing that wiggles though amirite folks ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

 

Frag diplomacy, I´m no diplomat. I didn´t do scrap to you until you yelled at me, slagface!

 

I'm not used to showing my face outside of family. Shit was Verboten, they might figure out there were Atlanteans in Atlantis. -fake gasp of shock, eyeroll- Now Weirdmageddon made everything weird so I don't get bothered even though I'm in a different megaverse and don't have to worry about it.

Before, with my old helmet, I mostly got "fuck, a Sunaj!" and "aaah fuck don't kill me!" -she spreads her hand an image of the Splugorth's Atlantis appears: the interdimensional market at a busy hour. Five identical blind women with body armor and rifles guard a large man with a skull-face, huge fangs, and three massive centered eyes as he makes his way down the street. A dragon buys slaves- mostly human, but some obviously alien- one is a massive worm with an eye at one end. A man with a tiger's head uses a hookah in a doorway, guarded by a hulking shape in concealing black body armor and a helmet with a monster visage. There are others in the scene dressed similar, all with monster-shaped helmets completely covering their heads. Some are guarding, others walking down the street like they've been sent to kill Captain America. Two stand at the mouth of an alley and hold quiet conversation, and despite the concealed faces they're clearly watching for something or -one. They all move like they were raised to kill (they were), and it's hard to tell if the armor hides a more human shape or if they're just as monstrous underneath, with all the aliens and monsters around-

 

I YELL AT EVERYONE, BULGEMUNCH! IT'S WHAT I *DO*

 

I like in vents, glitchstick, that´s what I do!

 

STOP PELTING ME WITH SHIT AND I'LL CONSIDER YELLING LESS ABOUT THAT PARTICULAR FACET OF WHAT I'M SURE IS AN OTHERWISE *CHARMING* PERSONALITY

 

Fine. Stop yelling and I´ll stop throwing scrap at you.

 

OK, CLARIFY. DO I HAVE TO STOP YELLING ENTIRELY OR CAN I JUST STOP YELLING ABOUT THAT PARTICULAR THING

 

As long as you get off my aft you can scream as much as your squishy little spark desires.

 

IT'S LESS A DESIRE AND MORE A TERMINAL CONDITION, BUT ALRIGHT. CONSIDER IT DONE! PROOF THAT KARKAT VANTAS IS MORE THAN MR HOLLERSPONGE ONE-NOTE, RIGHT HERE FOLKS. I AM, IN FACT, CAPABLE OF REDIRECTING MY BITCHFITS DESPITE RUMORS TO THE CONTRARY

 

It's amazing. Awe-inspiring. HΩrrifying. BehΩld hΩw he dΩesn't even stΩp to find a new tΩpic. -the hollow voice is SO PRONOUNCED her quirk is now somehow audible. She sounds so bored she might keel over from it.-

 

MOTHERFUCKER, PLEASE. QUIVER BEFORE ME IN TERRIFIED AWE. I DON'T NEED TO FIND A NEW TOPIC, I'VE COMPOSED FUCKING ESSAYS ON EMPTY PLATES LEFT IN THE THERMAL HULL. THE WORLD IS MY FOUL, STINKING OYSTER AND I WILL SCREAM AT ALL OF IT, BITCH

 

-slowclap-