shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Oh, come now. I am a highblood, not a horrorterror.

*Shit-eating grin.*
Ooh, 5he doe5 not know now, doe5 5he? 5hould I inform Mi55 5leepyhead here of what i5 on your mind?

 

[dave is making a face that can only be described as >:c]

theres an incest joke in here i can feel it
something about this strikes me as prime oedipus material but thats neither here nor there i guess
god mom
how can i refuse such a tempting offer
uhhhhhhhh lets see we met because he was yelling at us (me and john and jade and rose) about how we but mostly jade were gonna ruin everything and then we the whole meteor deal happened and thats when i met him in person
he was kind of awful at first but he was also fuckin 13 and thought i was mackin on his crush so
then we stuck together all the time because rose was busy shoving her tongue down kanayas throat and vriska and terezi were fucking around or harassing gamzee or shipping people
and turns out hes not awful hes mostly just like...an angry kitten
that juicy enough

 

-dryly- There's a difference?

 

-grabs his stupid frills and bughisses- Wanna find out where your body's buried?

 

One honk5 while committing genocide, and the other'5 honk commit5 genocide!

 

:O plenty juicy maybe even a lil too juicy what with the stuff about my daughter frenching her gf. but i'll give u a pass cuz ur cute. (not in a weird way)
also u keep ur oedipus out of this u weird kid. but remind me to name a kitty out of the next litter oedipuss. we can have jocatsa too and laipuss. is this the best idea ive ever had or what
also el em ay oh who among us wasnt an obnoxious shitlord at 13? im so happy for u that u 2 omg
are u in love? tell me all about it pls

 

-facepalms and runs her hands down her face- Fucking clowns. -she somehow sounds even more tired-

-gets on the ground and lays face down on the floor-

 

-Koezel is unpertubed, and grins smugly.-
*flirtatiously* Oh? Would you care to enlighten me?

 

No. -she sticks her thumbs in his eyes-

 

THAT'S NEWS TO LITERALLY NO ONE WHO'S INTERACTED WITH ME FOR MORE THAN FIVE SECONDS, INCLUDING MYSELF. THE REALLY SURPRISING THING IS THAT APPARENTLY WE STOPPED BEING MUTUALLY AWFUL AT SOME POINT, FOR LONG ENOUGH TO. Y'KNOW. GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER

[someone else is getting the same treatment, neener neener. this is a mistake but karkat is made of bad decisions]
HA!

 

-The path to his eyes is obstructed by Lil Cal, who is draped over his face. When did he get there?-

 

-walks away from the sad puppet man. She's made her point-

-mutters to him as she passes- Fucking clowns.

-petpetpet Anmula's hair-

 

Toodaloo! You nearly had me in quite the pickle,
but compared to other predicament5 I have been in, I would 5ay the one you had me in a few moment5 ago really pale5 in compari5on. :o)

 

-gives the clown her Most Unimpressed look. Puns? Really?-

 

thats a tall order rox you know how it is with this family
we nasty
anyway uh
god damn thats one hell of a question
i mean hes the only person ive dated since i hit puberty which is super weird to think about but
hm
i think so
he gets it you know? like idk that i could date someone who didnt play the game even if the planet wasnt sort of all populated with our offspring and id be scared to date my great great great great great granddaughter
plus i think theres something about like
bein knights thats sort of a like oh yeah dude i know what you mean without having to say it
god this is so sappy i cannot fucking believe myself

can you put that away thanks

 

-The smug grin does not falter. If anything, he looks remarkably pleased with himself. Really.-

 

THEY'RE REALLY THE BOTTOM OF THE CIRCUS BARREL. PLUNGE DOWN THERE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE WITH TWO PAN CELLS TO RUB TOGETHER AND INSTEAD YOU GET AN OMINOUS HONK AND SOME STUPID PURPLE FUCK GRINNING AT YOU LIKE THEY'VE GOT JUST THE *FUNNIEST* JOKE. BUT WILL THEY TELL YOU? NO! (SPOILER: YOU DON'T WANT THEM TO TELL YOU. THE JOKE IS HOMICIDE AND LOWBLOODS ARE THE PUNCHLINE).

 

5ure thing, dear!
-Lil Cal disappears as if he started flashstepping, but in actuality returns to Koezel's strife specibus.-

 

-a more playful bughiss at the end pun- I thought I could trust you! -she throws her arm and 'faints' in flawless dramatic style next to her palecrush-

 

We would not be funny if we did not know other joke5 too, dear! What do you get when you put a fi5h in a gimp5uit?

Her Imperiou5 Conde5cen5ion!