shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Farrat coughs. "You live with Stanford Pines."

 

"i think i like y0u!" Silima grins.

She glances at Chroma.

"i was g0ing t0 call myself mystique l00ngana but my intake w0rker said it s0unded like i was a stripper." She shrugs.

 

Because They Generally Are.

I Wasnt Aware I Was Contractually Obligated To Hate My Culture Wholesale Just Because Parts Of It Are A Wee Bit Deadly. I Didnt Know A Mere Perigee Was Enough To Turn All Of You Into Soggy Biscuits.

Oh! My God! An Astute Observation! You Are In Fact Capable Of Reading, I Had Almost Given Up The Hope.
What In The Name Of Fuck Has That Got To Do Either With You Making An Ass Out Of Everyone Having To Witness This Horseshit Or My Apparently Needing To Tolerate Made Up Words That Offend My Auricular Sponges?

Now If Youd Just Enlighten Me As To Why The Fuck You Or This Intake Worker Care If Your Name Sounds Like Youre A Quadrant For Hire, Implying Said Occupation Is Somehow Shameful, Maybe I Will Resist The Urge To Rip Out My Hair And Eat It By The Handful, Sitting On You So You Have To Watch The Entire Process Until Im Bald. And Believe Me, Thatd Be A Long, Painful And Repulsive Process, I Have A Lot Of Hair.

 

"I never said you had to put up with being called something you don't like. Telling people not to call you a D-bee is fine."

Farrat shrugs. "But you were implying that you're not a dimensional traveller. And that's a different thing."

 

Silima shakes her head. "well m0stly i guess because i am actually n0t and i w0uld prefer n0t to have pe0ple trying t0 hire me f0r that? g0t n0thing against quadrants-f0r-hire, but y0u g0tta admit that c0uld be 0bn0xi0us."

 

"I'm not sure how deciding to do some things the way they're generally done on Pennarion amounts to deciding to hate the entirety of one's culture." Dhara sighs. "But Farrat did say he'd been wanting to get off of Alternia somehow since long before Weirdmageddon."

 

-Koezel is squeezing the rose in his hand fairly hard, causing the palm of his hand to bleed.-
A tyrian? Thi5 place ju5t got much more intere5ting.
Plea5ed to make your acquaintance, your highne55. I am Koezel Moloto, 5ubjugglator puppeteer.
-Koezel bows. It is uncertain whether he is doing this seriously or exaggeratedly.-

 

Hey, I could be a phuckin tyrian, you dont know that Im not.

[He says this without an ounce of shame despite having no fins in sight.]

 

No, you are far too boring to be one.

 

Phuck, I really wish I was. I bet my liphe would be a million times phucking easy iph I was.

 

It i5 more than likely that we have different 5tandard5 a5 to what con5titute5 5omething boring. Even among clown5, I am known for having a peculiar 5en5e of humor.

 

Clowns have a sense oph humor?

 

If Farrat were rolling his eyes any harder, they might have fallen out of his face and been halfway across the floor by now. Yes. This is the culture he's supposed to take so much pride in, this right here.

This noise: it shall be fucked.

 

Ye5, and it i5 a real killer one at that.

 

"I hope you drown in a vat of Faygo."

 

Puns dont qualiphy.

 

No You Collossal Angular Building Block For A Pan, I Said You Shouldnt Fucking Assume I Was One, Just Because I Live With Stanford Fucking Pines. Who The Fuck Knows Maybe I Simply Emerged From The Dirt Eons Ago, Screaming Pennarions First Cussword Into Its Infant Atmosphere. Maybe I Blew Myself Up So Hard My Molecules Reconvened In The Shape Of My Unscathed Mortal Husk On An Entirel Different Planet.

Everything I Experience During Every Waking Second Is Obnoxious And You Are Making A Regrettable Effort To Do The Same To My Sleeping Time.

Because Its Ass Backwards And Complete And Utter Bullshit You Xenophobic Cheetostick. The No Killing And No Hemospectrum Garbage Thing Is Perfectly Fine By Me And Ill Probably Eventually Get Used To The Significantly Less Murderous Fauna But What In The Goddamn Shit Is Wrong With Doing Names The Sane And Reasonable Way And Being A Bit Suspicious Of Trolls Who Just Throw Everything About Their Alternian Identity Into The Trash Just To Assimilate? What Cant You Pail Someone With An Eight Letter Name Is That Some Talassani Quadrant Custom No One Has Deigned To Explain To Us Poor Idiotic Refugees Yet? Or Do You Just Generally Dislike Being Reminded That Youre Taking A Bug Into Your Respiteblock? Does It Offend Your Mammalian Sensibilities?

 

-There is a vent, and a ventcat. And possibly robot popcorn-

 

[Stealthy smoljet waves from the twins.]

 

[he fidgets uncomfortably for a second or two. oh no, expectations. oh no, clowns]

THINGS ARE SERIOUSLY NOT GOING TO GET MORE INTERESTING, IF I CAN HELP IT. KELP IT. GOD, I DISGUST MYSELF.

UGH, WHATEVER, HI. YOU'VE PROBABLY ALREADY DEDUCED, THANKS TO MY CHARMING DOPPELGANGER, THAT I'M KARKAT PEIXES. CALL ME THAT INSTEAD OF THE LAUNDRY LIST OF UNNECESSARY HONORIFICS I'M *SURE* YOU COME EQUIPPED WITH, THANKS IN ADVANCE.