shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

-the helmstroll has curled up against Chroma's leg and apparently gone to sleep-

 

"No. But she did ask for a story, Kankri, and the story seems to have made her happy." Valiska shrugs. "I liked it, too."

 

What are y9u talking a69ut?

 

I Do Not Presume Being Able To Retell Her Tales With Enough Accuracy To Be A Proper Historically Faithful Rendition Of Her As A Person. No She Herself Is Not A "Character", But Pretending That Whichever Hearthside Play Or Painted Telling Wasnt Filtered Through Time, Several People Repeating It In A Non-Written Tradition For Safety And Already Being Based On The Scripture Of One Person Alone, That Would Be Simply Misleading. I May Look Stupid, Sir, But I Dont Actually Believe Everything Simply Because I Am Told Its The Right Way To Do It.

[She pets her shoulder absentmindedly]

 

"That troll there, with Chroma. She asked for a story, and the story made her happy," Valiska replies, shaking out a very soft, warm, light blanket, which she then drapes gently over the sleeping troll. "She is obviously not well. Telling her the story was a kindness, and she is resting comfortably now. Whoever the story was about, they are not present to give a fuck about whether or not the story is true. So I think it well done of our girl to have told the story."

Valiska shrugs. "If you are the one they called Signless, you must surely understand the value of kindness."

 

"I'm assuming they told the stories indoors, by the hearthfire," says Ford. "That's what our girls do."

He smiles. "Happy wriggling day."

 

I'm talking a69ut the sym69l she had 9n her hand 6ef9re. The 9live 9ne.

That's her sym69l.

 

"So I thought, but your response to me confused me," Valiska replies. "She liked the story, and it was for her. I know I'm not Valisseira Emreiatke, and I know I'm not the Huntress, which will surely make you laugh. But I was named for one and people I love have claimed to see shadows of the other in me, and I still enjoy hearing stories about them."

 

Neither 9f th9se are the same thing.

*Stress ball chew time. Something about this conversation is VERY DISTRESSING but he can't pinpoint what exactly it is.*

 

*Nepeta is concerned, she chirps inqusitively at Kankri Sr*

 

*DON'T DO THIS TO HIM.*

*Kankri does a double-take and stares for a few seconds to confirm that that is Not, in fact, his sort-of-kind-of-who-even-knows-at-this-point-girlfriend, but another lookalike.*

*Hurts just a little.*

 

"I know you don't want us to think of you as a character in a story," Valiska says gently, "and maybe that's why it bothers you. But I at least don't think of you that way. I can't. You're not like the stories my girls told me. Ford is, a bit, but you seem more like Karkat."

Valiska shrugs. "But the story Chroma told was for her, not you, Kankri."

 

Oh Joy This Is What Happens When People Play The Pronoun Game.
No, Magister Courinna, The Olive Symbol, Leo, Is The Symbol Of The Huntress, The Disciple, The Noble Companion Of The Signless.
The Girl Currently Drooling On My Leg Is Definitely A Yellowblood Like Me, Not An Olive, Or She Wouldnt Be Helmed.
[She shudders lightly]
Kankri Took Offense At The Story I Ended Up Not Telling, Not The Story I Did Tell.

 

OH, NICE, THANK YOU. THE VACILLATION IN SOME OF THOSE BOOKS IS FUCKING *WILD,* YOU REALLY DO NEED A CHART TO EXPLAIN THE FLIP-FLOPPING, QUADRANT SMEARING MESSES THEY ALL GET THEMSELVES INTO.

OF COURSE, I'LL PROBABLY END UP HAVING TO TIE SOMEONE TO A CHAIR TO *EXPLAIN* ANY OF IT, BUT SUCH IS THE LIFE OF A TRUE ARTIST. NO ONE WILL UNDERSTAND MY GENIUS UNTIL I BITE THE DUST

WELL, AT LEAST THEY HAVE THE COMMON SENSE TO DO THAT, THEN. CAN YOU IMAGINE TRYING TO TREAT A CASE OF FROSTBITTEN RUMBLESPHERES? FUCK THAT!

THANKS.

MY DEEPEST CONDOLENCES

 

Why is she "the" c9mpani9n? There was at least 9ne 9ther tr9ll, 9r tw9 if y9u c9nsider a lusus a c9mpani9n.

 

:33 Mewr talking about my ancespurress, aren´t mew?

 

... Did You Date The Ψiioniic Or The Dolorosa Too? Because If So That Didnt Survive Until The Version Of The Story I Got Told.

 

Yep. I Mean I Assume As Much From The Catpuns And The Olive Blood And The Sign Doesnt Hurt With Identification Things Either. Well Met, Maam.

 

*CHOKES ON THE STRESSBALL.*

 

.............
[She makes absolutely no move to help him whatsoever, only blinking slowly.]
This Reaction Is Exceedingly Juvenile.