shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

GET A BLOCK, YOU NASTY DISGRACES TO SENTIENT LIFE

[karkat is also a hypocrite. shhh]

[ugh, okay, karkat's Mom Friend instincts are kicking in, especially with how young she looks, but he's warring with an urge to cut and run every time he thinks about all that blood, and where it must have come from]

WHAT'S YOUR DEAL?

[so smooth. karkat is the master of tact. having someone to fret over helps him shove down the panic reaction, makes him focus on something else, but he miiiight be on the verge of hysterics. a little bit.]

 

-at least she's not bloody anymore!-

There was a hole. Where we first landed. It wasn't there before. A-and it was talking to us in our heads and it was worse than any psychic ship ever and it said it wanted people. Lopez wanted to fill it in but we- we knew there was something down there and it'd be angry so we. We decided. If we gave it what it wanted maybe then it would be distracted or content or. It'd be less risky. We could fill it in after.

There was a girl. From one of the raids. It was just her and she was sick and we had to save her from our turrets but she wasn't any older than me and we don't leave kids to die. Her name was Hunter. I was treating her for an immune deficiency. We were going to see if she'd pull through before we decided to recruit her or not- we don't have a lot of space but we didn't want to send her back to raiders who sent a sick kid to fight us. We didn't want to but there was no one else. -she's been trying not to emote, like she's just giving a report, but at this she breaks into a despairing whine and hell if she doesn't look like just a kid, not at all the girl who was going to meet Pree Aesma in the pit-

It was late and we were going to do it in the morning but Lorenzo was up and he was there for the argument so. He took her to the hole. And he filled it in. Like we'd agreed. We could all hear the screaming once he started. Not just Hunter but so many others. Gerald was on the latrine when it happened and it was even louder for him. It must have been so horrible for Lorenzo. He's only seven. He's only seven and he killed a girl and filled in the monster's hole and we were supposed to protect him these kinds of things and we failed. I was supposed to protect him and failed. He wasn't supposed to have to be a killer. That's what we have people like me for.

-she crumples into a curled up ball, head hidden against her knees, and botches her save vs tears-

 

[Mom Friend instincts win definitely now; Karkat verrry slowly reaches out a hand for papping, obvious enough that she'll notice and he can back off if it's unwanted]

JESUS CHRIST. UH.

I THINK...[he chews on his words for a second] YOU'RE STILL A KID, TOO. AND THAT SOUNDS LIKE IT WAS FUCKED IN EVERY HOLE IT HAD, PLUS SOME NEW ONES FOR FLAIR. ON A SCALE OF ONE TO VERY, THAT WAS A VERITABLE GODDAMN GANGBANG OF FUCKED. AND THERE'S NO EASY SOLUTION FOR THAT? YOU CAN'T JUST WAVE A MAGIC FAIRY WAND AND SAY 'LET'S FIND A SOLUTION WHERE NOBODY EXCEPT ME GETS HURT' BECAUSE SOMETIMES SHIT IS JUST TERRIBLE. AND THAT'S ***NOT*** YOUR FAULT. AND EVEN IF HE IS A WIGGLER, IF HE'S GOT TWO PAN CELLS TO RUB TOGETHER, I'D BET LORENZO KNOWS THAT.

THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT ISN'T SO TERRIBLE YOU COULD VOMIT FOR A THOUSAND YEARS AND NOT FEEL ANY BETTER, BUT. STILL.

[take your own advice you fucking goblin]

 

-she accepts paps, tensing up initially but easing after a moment)
He shouldn't have felt he had to do it though! I'm. I was grown as a combat medic, having to look at people you want to save and go "nope, sorry, you're not gonna make it and it's my fault" is a thing I was made to do. Missy was running away with Lorenzo so he wouldn't end up like us, just because we had to grow up fast doesn't mean he should! And I don't think I should be friends with him anymore if what he learned from me is that kids have make hard decisions just like the adults. We wanted him and Odom and Skagnetti to be able to be kids, even on a rimworld.

 

....right, you don't have internal kibble, sorry. [Ignis laughs a little, carefully ignoring the war stories going on just across the way. None of his business.] Tails aren't necessary for flight if you're just running on thrusters or antigrav, but they do help if you want to go horizontal at all instead of just hovering.

 

[he sits down next to her and starts to rub circles on her back]

JUST BECAUSE YOU WERE "MADE" TO DO SOMETHING DOESN'T MEAN IT'S SOMETHING YOU SOMEHOW "DESERVE" ANY MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE. NO OFFENSE TO WHAT I'M SURE IS IMMENSE PROWESS, BUT I DON'T THINK YOU'RE EXACTLY CHOMPING AT THE BIT TO DO THIS. MAYBE YOU'RE A LITTLE BETTER SUITED! AND THAT'S A HUGE FUCKING MAYBE. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT'S GOING TO FUCK YOU UP ANY LESS, OR THAT OTHERS AREN'T GONNA THROW THEMSELVES IN FRONT OF THAT METAPHORICAL TRAIN

ANYWAY! IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE DOING YOUR BEST, TO KEEP THEM FROM SEEING THAT SHIT? WHICH IS ALREADY A DAMN SIGHT BETTER THAN "LOL, GOOD LUCK" OR WHATEVER IT IS *YOU* GOT, OR WHAT THEY ALL WOULD HAVE GOT ELSEWHERE. AND EVEN IF IT'S NOT PERFECT, IMPROVING A SITUATION AS BEST YOU CAN IS SOMETHING PEOPLE NOTICE. IT STILL COUNTS FOR SOMETHING

YOU CAN TELL LORENZO YOU UNDERSTAND IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS ANYMORE, BUT THAT'S *HIS* DECISION TO MAKE, NOT SOMETHING YOU GET TO DECIDE OUT OF A DESIRE TO SELF-FLAGELLATE UNTIL YOU FEEL A LITTLE LESS LIKE THE SCUM ON SOMEONE'S BOOTHEEL.

 

Valiska sits down near them. "Hey. I was a kid soldier too, of a sort. You're right that kids shouldn't have to do the things that we did. But the blame is on the goddamn adult fuckers that program the vats and code the world-killing games and run the stations, not on the kids that get caught up in that shit. You knew what was important and you did the best you could. That's what counts. The part where you were mired in shit you couldn't fix is not on you."

 

"Kibble?" Lissa cocks her head to one side. "I thought 'kibble' was a word for very bad food." She sighs. "The first thing I learned about grocery shopping on Earth was that Carla is right, nothing labelled 'cat food' is actually fit to eat unless it is very, very expensive."

 

YEAH, EXACTLY

SHIT'S SET UP, TOP-DOWN, FOR YOU TO FAIL AND DIE AND BE MISERABLE WHILE YOU'RE DOING THAT. ANY TIME YOU GO "NO, I'M GONNA MAKE THIS A *LITTLE* BETTER FOR ME AND MINE" IS WINNING, EVEN IF IT'S NOT PERFECT

 

Mi? Then why do they call it cat food, if it´s not food?

 

"Because non-sapient cats have to eat what they're given, I guess?" Lissa shrugs. "I have lived among humans for a long time--I mean, my daughter was born on Earth and she's in college now--but I can't really say I understand them. I mean, I have arguments with the sheriff about the wolf who lives with us. I know it's illegal to own a wolf. I don't own him. He's my friend."

 

"Exactly." Valiska sighs. "I wish you could get out of where you are, and by that I really mean I wish you could come to my planet, where shit like this doesn't happen because people like me made the laws."

 

Nah, it's-- [he gestures to the intakes on his shoulders, the various disassembled bits of plane that aren't serving any obvious purpose while he has legs--] it's the stuff that goes into your alt. My stabilizers aren't external in root like this, but I've still got a tail while I'm a jet, so it's internal but not like... guts and stuff while I'm on my feet. Or not on my feet, as the case may be! [Ignis laughs, flicking a wingtip back to just barely brush against Updraft.]

 

[Updraft chuckles and flicks back just as lightly] Essentially, kibble are the parts of your alt that still look like parts of it even when you are folded into rootmode. Usually it gives some hint on what the alt is and some parts remain functional. Which is handy both because it is rude to ask about someone's alt, and because of the functionality. For example some people with wheels can use them to skate along when they have legs [He's not saying heelies but yes he means heelies]

 

Lissa nods. "Why's it rude? And why is it called 'kibble'?" (She does eat kibble very occasionally, when Carla's not looking. For much the same reason that children--and some adults--eat cereal out of the box sometimes. The flavouring that's sprayed on it tastes good. But she knows it's junk, and not really food. It just...tastes better to her than cereal with ugh, sugar in it, and sometimes she likes to crunch things.)

 

I am... actually not sure why it is called kibble, it just is? But asking is rude because it is very intrusive. Especially if you grew up under a setting where your alt determined what you could do with your life, but even without that, it is [He tries to think of a good organic/human/fleshy person analogue] is is kind of asking what someone looks like naked, in a way. [Which admittedly clothes aren't a thing on Cybertron unless you wanna talk towerling silk drapey things, but yeah.]

 

"That makes sense," Lissa says, and sighs. "Everywhere's fucked up, isn't it? I mean the way you're shaped shouldn't determine what you do with your life."

 

Also some people don't like their alts....

 

"Yeah?" Lissa sighs. "I guess that makes sense, some organic people don't like their bodies. I like mine, but it would sure suck if I didn't."

 

Some people also dislike telling others of their alt, even if they themselves are unbothered by it.
[Autobot reactions to K-Cons: Tiresome, annoying, unnecessary]