shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

FUCK THAT! OR I GUESS DON'T, SINCE THAT'S THE ENTIRE POINT. I'LL BE OVER HERE *NOT* INDUCING VOMITING WITH THE SLIMIEST SECRETS FROM THE SPANK BANK'S DARKEST VAULT

[the most withering of withering looks]

I WASN'T GOING TO JOIN Y'ALL ANYWAY, BUT NOW? IF IT WAS POSSIBLE FOR THIS GATHERING TO HAVE *NEGATIVE* KARKATS IT WOULD! A VACUUM OF KARKATS

 

-sympathetic smile- Wanna watch something else? I´ll make beer.

 

WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU WANT TO WATCH? NOT EVERYONE APPRECIATES MY CINEMATIC TASTES

WHICH IS FUCKING BULLSHIT, BECAUSE I DON'T JUST WATCH *ANY* PIECE OF SHIT WITH A ROMANCE SUBPLOT AND A KNOCK-KNOCK JOKE, I HAVE *STRICT QUALITY STANDARDS*

 

Didn´t have a plan. Enlighten me!

 

"Do you actually not like me?"

 

WELL, HITCH IS A CLASSIC, IF YOU WANTED TO START WITH THAT. GOOD LUCK CHUCK IS RIGHT OUT, I'VE SEEN IT LIKE FIVE HUNDRED TIMES AND AS SKILLED AN ACTOR AS DANE COOK IS, IF I HAVE TO WATCH IT OND MORE TIME I'LL STAB MYSELF IN THE GANDERBULBS TO ESCAPE

WHAT? I DON'T KNOW YOU WELL ENOUGH TO *HAVE* AN OPINION! FRANKLY, IF ANYTHING, YOU'RE LESS PRONE TO COMPULSIVELY LUSUSING ANYTHING THAT MOVES THAN YOUR DOPPELGANGER, WHICH MEANS I PROBABLY LIKE YOU MORE? I WAS BITCHING ABOUT THE "COME" PUN, NOT YOUR...YOU

 

[Hysterical hyena laughter: go.]

 

-snrk-
Lets hold the eyetrauma. -she has summoned beer and TV-

 

How could anybody not like you? For the brief amount of time I've known you, you've seem pretty nice. Unlike some people here.

 

[cheerfully:] I resemble that remark!!!

 

EAT MY SHIT!

ALRIGHT, I WILL REFRAIN FROM GETTING MY TANTRUM ALL OVER YOU.

[he summons a couple squishy armchairs and a weird organic dvd player that starts playing troll hitch on the tv]

 

What is this metal box and why are the pictures moving?

 

-giggles at silliness- Appreciated. Tantrum is so hard to clean up.

it´s a TV screen. The pictures are moving because they are actually a lot of consecutive pictures being shown very quickly one after another to look like motion.

 

Wow, you don't mind if I sit and watch with you do you?

 

*Nick gives a confused look, but then his expression softens* I don't think that's supposed to be a good thing, but hey, you do you.

 

Course not. Don´t expect the plot to make much sense, this is a rom com.

 

Lissa breathes out. "Okay," she says, "and thanks, but...you know you do the same thing. She's Blood. So am I. So are you. It's a Blood thing. She's carrying kits, though, which means she probably does less of it normally, you just lucked out and met her when she's high on her own hormones."

"Thanks," says Lissa, mollified. There are people who hate her because of something she did long ago in another life, and there are people who decide she's not worth knowing because she's a foreigner or station trash or a slut or an alien or brown or whatever, but there's pretty much nobody who doesn't like her if they treat her like a person and get to know her.

 

OK, I LIED ABOUT THE TANTRUM, AND YOU ARE IN THE CENTER OF THE SPLASH ZONE, SO GET OUT THE FUCKING UMBRELLA
THE PLOT MAKES *PERFECT* SENSE, IF YOU PAID ANY ATTENTION AT ALL INSTEAD OF FURIOUSLY JERKING IT TO YOUR OWN ""SUPERIOR"" MEDIA TASTES UNTIL YOU GO BLIND. LET ME ENLIGHTEN YOU! THE WHOLE POINT IS THAT HITCH IS *KIND* OF ACTUALLY FOR REAL A HERNIATED ASSPIMPLE, BUT HE ISN'T AS BAD AS SARA THINKS. SO HE HAS TO LEARN TO TAKE HIS *OWN* ADVICE AND BE OPEN WITH HER! IT'S BEAUTIFUL AND FUCK YOU FOR SAYING THE PLOT IS ANYTHING LESS THAN TENDERLY HANDBUILT TO PROVIDE HOURS OF ENTERTAINMENT AND EMOTION

IT'S ALMOST LIKE TRAITS THAT REMIND ME OF ME FILL ME WITH ENRAGED, MISDIRECTED SELF-LOATHING. OR! OR MAYBE I JUST DON'T LIKE THE COMPETITION WHEN I'M GATHERING MY OWN DEMENTED HOARD OF WIGGLERS AND STRAYS

NO BUT FOR REAL, I DON'T DISLIKE EITHER OF YOU ANY MORE THAN I DISLIKE THE GENERAL POPULATION OF THE ASS DIMENSION.

 

"Okay, but consider the pride we could lead if you and Valiska could cooperate with me like all the people who cooperate with me and Ford back home. It's just a thought." Lissa grins, then looks up at her Ford and Wrench. "I'm ready for the bad porn if you are."

 

HMMMMMMM now I'm stuck between spitefully being nice to you just to be contrary or being doubly nasty because that's who I am don't be nice about it it's on purpose, frag you.
Why must my life be so full of suffering.