shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

[Gentlest sibling nibbles.] Ain't entirely. You get part, sure, no arguin' that, but wouldna ever got that far if it weren't for Prima or Maximo.

I do! I'm an excellent hat. Look, I'm a crown now. [And they are indeed a crown, full of fiddly bits and even some shiny "gems" made from optic glass.]

 

[Jordi sets the toy on top of him. Cats???]

So... can you actually do anything like that?

[Jordi does not look impressed.]

 

(completely expressionless finger guns)

 

... uh... can I magic up a multiverse portal? *bites his lip, thinking* I haven't seen anybody do that trick before but... portal, portal, portal, portal, portal, portal...

*nothing happens but a furrowing of church's brow and a clenching of his teeth*

... hey, guys, need some help here!

*the other memory-fragments pop up*

Delta: I would advise against this course of action, Epsilon.

Church: Yeah?

Delta: I have not observed anyone successfully make a portal out of this space. I also have... concerns about your new friend.

*before delta can elaborate further, church is distracted*

*by his new friend*

I didn't know what Vault weapons were before I ended up here, so... I doubt I could've been eaten by one. I mean, unless they have a super long range or something...

 

Prrt!

Purrrr prrt!!

*I am plotting your demise, none are as good as my Chosen Person. The Person shall be the vessel of my power, and they shall aid me in destroying all in this plane of existence. Including you, blue glowy man.*

Miah! *Cute roll*

*Flips in a way he really probably shouldn't, showing off how his hips just don't exist really, before standing and arching. PET HIM.*

*PET HIM*

*P E T*

 

[Jordi sets another toy on him. Some kind of dog rope toy. Dog toy, cat toy, why must we project these artificial divides on animals? Basically the same thing, right?

The dog toy is almost as big as the cat is.]

 

[Why does a robot know what sighing is, much less how to mimic the sound?] That's the point... ah, what was it, Church? Worldwalking's tough as all pits an' can't just be done willy-nilly. Unless we meet someone else from Jack-jack's world here-- someone what can actually do something-- any argument we have here over what we think he should be doing or not doing's just academic.

 

"Wow, that's racist and mature."

 

Define anything.

Spoiler: gif

[Jack stops his new rant to give Church an owlish look.]

Huh. Didn't think of that. Though you... could have stumbled on one.

I'd give you a pet, but I'd just phase through you.

[Jack snorts.]

I highly doubt anyone from my world will know anything about this place.

 

wait how the hell is that racist i was kidding

 

*Why. Why human? Why-- KILL.*

*bites the toy and grabs it, starts to kick it. He's breaking this rope toy's neck good, killing it like a boss. Look at him.*

*THIS IS HOW I WILL KILL YOU AND EVERYONE, BLUE MAN*

 

Yeah. Church.

... if it's so academic, though, why are you guys fucking arguing about it then? 'Cause, I mean, dude, you really upset him and that, if anything, is not academic. It's something you guys made happen, right in here, a button that you guys kept on pressing even though you knew it was just fucking hurting him.

*confused* ... is there another fucking meaning for glowstick I don't know about?

*church runs himself mentally through all the slurs he knows, checking if "glowstick" or anything like it is on the list*

*nope*

*it's not*

... considering how I died, probably not...

 

Are rave kids a race now? Figures they'd add it to the census after I decided not to answer.

Can you stab someone? With a knife?

[This is adorable. Jordi looks on fondly.]

 

hey fuck you i have a serious disability

[... she says, continuing to be completely deadpan]

 

Because I'm bored, petty, an' I don't like 'im. [At least one of the golden blobs wound around @Megatronus Prime appears to shrug.] Also, I know I sound it sometimes, but I'm not a plurality, don't pin other people gettin' chuffed at 'im on me.

 

*bitterly* Yeah. I figured.

 

Ah. Right. Sorry 'bout that, I keep forgetting you're actually dead. Not sure how a consciousness would get in here otherwise - being eaten, I mean. But I... don't know anything else that'd be able to do this.

I can stab Rhys with a knife? But... I've not tried to in here, where apparently 'anything is possible', but it wouldn't work anyway cause the whole pacifist bullshit.

 

*Finally he finishes killing it, rolling over to attempt to drag it to Jordi. He is meowing. It is muffled in the toy. He is offering it up. HE KILLED THIS.*

 

-sighs- I shouldn´t have listened to Maximo. -pats him- But you make a wonderful crown brother dear.

 

It's alright. I can understand why you'd forget about the dead thing. After all, most of the time, the dead just lie in the ground and rot. They don't usually talk to people and move about and do other shit like that. It's kinda what defines death, most of the time, the not-moving, not-talking, not-anything. And hey, it's not like it matters in here, a lot of the time, whether I'm dead or not!