shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

*Smilodad grunts and swats a paw at Tugger's ass.*

*Who tf u calling lusus.*

 

h*w d* y*u manage t* get *n every nerve ! have? d!d y*u tra!n t* be th!s way?

[he pauses and eventually smirks]

g* t* y*ur bl*ck. !'m y*ur lusus, y*u have t* d* what ! say.

 

Oh, you're absolutely right, actually.

This is, hm. Quite the garish display! I believe they're called funhouse mirrors?

 

trained long and hard, in fact. in a fur-off land, at the schoolfleading hivestem of 'make silly little sparky boy piss his pants in rage'.

PAWSSED ALL MY CLASSES WITH FLYING COLORS.

*He swears like a sailor under his breath, which earns him another swat.*

get to my blick?

 

At this point I almost expect them to begin dragging their bottoms across the floor.

 

fine. i see how it is. every time tugger's an ass i have to de-quirk or he's going to willfully misinterpret eeeeverything i say, because he's two.

that is to say: i can only use my quirk when the sun stops searing our skin.

if i'm your lusus, you have to go to your block. it's simply how it works!

 

and where would that be, feleesdad? :3c

 

[he raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms]

Coming from someone who licked his rear to prove a point?

 

Do you ever notice that there is a significant correlation between those who do not clean all over and those who end up with worms?

 

far away from me! i'm half-convinced i should just pick you up and throw you somewhere.

[if he could do that without serious risk of shorting out midway and causing third degree burns, he would have already]

 

If you can do it without resorting to silly kittle sparkles, I'll do everything you say for a purrigee.

 

There are ways to groom that...area... without resorting to tasting what you're cleaning up.

And besides, you don't have to do it in public. We've seen where that leads.

 

[he kicks tugger, but alas. he is built like spaghetti noodle]

if they can hurt you they're not just sparkles!

 

If the Great Cat Beyond hadn't intended for Jellicles to clean themselves naturally, they would not have given us tongues with little hooks on them.

 

*He is a fucking wall of fluff and flesh. Snickers.*

I YOWL THEM AS I SEE THEM, FELEES.

 

The Great Cat Beyond obviously didn't intend for you guys to be able to give each other blowjobs either.

 

*He blinks. Glances @ Misto.*

*Pls know what a blowjob is so he doesn't look dumb in front of the legless dude.*

 

[he casts a baffled look in tugger's direction before turning to norm]

The Everlasting Cat didn't intend for a great many things, I imagine, but Jellicles are creative folk!

 

Very, very creative folk, I think you'll find.

*Wink.*

 

I don't think creativity makes hooks any less hurty on your sensitive parts.