shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

-Jason cleverly avoids talking about feelings by flopping back on the weight bench and proving that yes, he can in fact bench press Batman. How's that for a resume builder? He lets Dick back up after a couple of reps, though-
There, see? You can be the pretty boy, I'm happy to be the strongman.

 

WHY NOT? FUCK *THAT*

WE'RE WAY MORE EFFICIENT THAN MAMMALS OR WHATEVER, JUST GOING "NOPE, USELESS, BYE" IS A WASTE OF RESOURCES

 

-amused click- Many agreed with you. Then we accidentally had a war instead of doing anything useful about it.

 

[Dick suffers his fate in the only proper way: by posing like one of your french Bats. He is still glad when Jason lets him go again though and offers his brother a hand up.]
At least soothe my ego and tell me I put on a little bit of muscle mass. You always had an easier time of that you cheater.

 

-he pinches two fingers together-
Maybe a bit. Can't put on too much if you want to keep doing those flips into front fulls on the side.

 

WELL, I MEAN, IT TOOK THE LITERAL APOCALYPSE FOR TROLLS TO GET THEIR SHIT TOGETHER, SO I'M NOT REALLY ONE TO PREACH

 

-sympathy chirrup-
Other people can be so difficult.

 

Untrue. You've met me. I took the red, oh... about a million years before my death, but I did start 'Con.

 

THAT'S BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS

 

-agreeing chirr- I'll drink to that.

 

Lissa shrugs. "All bad," she says.

"I'm sure that after all those billions of years, there's hardly anyone who doesn't have at least a few million regrets, even if they don't talk about it."

 

"We're all other people," Ford points out, "but then...we're all idiots sometimes." He'll drink to that, too. "And I swear sometimes...the smartest of us are the worst, when we decide to be stupid."

 

Don't remind me, please. It's a tragedy I'm telling you.
[If he wasn't wearing the cowl right now he'd be straight up swooning onto Jason just to be annoying, but alas he has to keep up a bit of an image here.]

 

OH, TRUST ME, I AM *INTIMATELY* AWARE OF MY OWN IDIOCY. I HAVE DEDICATED COUNTLESS HOURS TO TRYING TO COMPREHEND THE BREADTH AND SCOPE OF MY STUPIDITY, BUT ALAS. IT IS BEYOND DESCRIPTION

 

Billions? It's been billions now? [Switchboard actually looks shocked for once in his existence.] Primus. We'd only managed about three million when I melted out, I had... I had no idea...

 

-reassuring chirrups- Only millions! Four millions.

 

It was actually four million years, it was been bad, but not that bad. I got picked off the planet shortly after and going by dating the disappearance of the Retribution it has been four million and change.

 

I am fairly sure that our species would have either driven itself to extinction within another four million if they kept going at the rate they were going at. That or another one would have gotten angry enough to put a lid on it in a very final fashion.

 

[Skinny ghost is done marginally less a frighten now. He relaxes a little.] Thank the Hand. If we'd gone on for so long, with how things were going even before I switched sides...

...quite.

 

"Okay," says Lissa. "Millions of years, a few hundred thousand regrets. Too much Carl Sagan I guess." She grins at Ford. "My point's the same?"