shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

"I shoulda known better." Lissa's scent is totally all over that small patch of skin between his t-shirt and his mask and she has completely decided sometime back that those spikes can't hurt her since he's only ever taken off the mask when they were alone with Ford.

 

Ford grins at him. "You have to admit it's unsettling to realise you are talking to someone who has no idea what the fuck you know you just said to them three hours ago because they're from the past or some other timeline. Makes you want to start asking for passwords, or something. Space people...we fundamentally don't get it, no matter how much of the physics we know intellectually."

 

One, the number of aliens I have personally made very personal acquaintance with is a lot larger than you apparently think it is. Literal gods too! Well I didn't make out with quite so many of those. But y'know they hang around. Alternate universes also seem to happen at least once a year.
We're just a bit wary of clowns these days, kinda reflexively. Bad experiences.

I can't agree enough with that. Thankfully, if the shouty grey gentleman is right we won't have to worry about this one at least.

 

"Is there actually not enough trouble where you guys come from that you two and Connor can literally go looking for trouble in other people's backyards?" Alex sighs. "I'm torn between 'jurisdiction is a thing' and 'why are you not on my homeworld helping us get rid of Fish Hitler?'"

 

WELL, I'M NOT ONE OF *YOUR* ALIENS, ANYWAY!

THIS ISN'T KANSAS, BULGEPIMPLE. THE CLOWNS ARE NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, UNLESS THEY HAPPEN TO SHOW THEIR DISGUSTING GREASEPAINT FACES IN HERE. AGAIN

I'M SO PROUD OF YOUR DARING XENOBIOLOGICAL EXCURSIONS, THANK YOU FOR SHARING.

YOU CAN BE WARY ABOUT CLOWNS ALL YOU WANT WITHOUT CRAWLING UP EARTH C'S COLLECTIVE ASSHOLE ABOUT THEM

MY NAME IS KARKAT

[karkat gestures at alex with both hands--he is almost will smith posing, really]

SEE? SHE GETS IT!

 

Things is, we got a history of trouble in someone else's home base being trouble in our city pretty quick. Makes us pretty quick to jump the gun.

Besides, I don't work with the law. My jurisdiction is where I see something wrong.

-uses rave powers to obnoxiously indicate previous response-

 

Alex sighs. "Help with Fish Hitler would be welcome, admittedly, but were you here when the bar got blown up because the guy who brought it does wetwork in his home dimension?" She scratches her head. "Must be nice to never have had to put on a good show and be nice around people you don't personally approve of in order to network, socialise and get shit done."

 

[With his grumbliest gruffest Batman glare.]
When it comes to clowns the rules are different. Let's call it a family matter, none of your business.

.......... I am never sure whether I prefer when you're far away from home or where I can keep an eye on you.

 

"That's understandable," says Ford, "and it's my understanding that the other me was an interdimensional merc of some sort for a while till he decided to put down roots because he met the other Lissa. It's just that there are people here who aren't even from the same dimensional sheaves as you. Once you get down to Malkuth of Assiah, or up to its Qliphotic counterpart, the branches of the Tree are infinitely fractalised."

Then he notices Alex mouthing something that looks like 'teal deer' at him, and realises what he's just said is almost certainly incomprehensible.

"Or in other words: whatever comes out of another dimension into your world is probably not as far away from you as most of us are."

 

passwords are a good idea
mostly i just interacted with various iterations of myself but passwords work for sure
im pretty sure jade dealt with karkats bullshit with passwords but that was less time travel and more trollian lacking any sort of regard for decent nonsense free chatting
anyway dude theres so much space baloney i dont get
for all that our aspects are supposed to be intermingling in great cosmic intercourse
i just do not understand the physics shit

 

-he's not quite sneering, but his tone is distinctly unfriendly-
Must be nice to be able to solve your problems by networking.

Aww, Batman. That hurts. You don't want me around?

Oh yeah? And why should I trust you? Rather gather my own intel, thanks.

 

[He very subtly places himself between Jason and the civil- other people.]
I like to imagine you're probably a lot more relaxed when you're not hanging around Gotham. Maybe on a nice cruise or something. Or at least causing trouble for someone else for once. But hey as long as you don't go on a murder spree I don't mind having you visit, no.
[His right hand lands heavily on Jason's shoulder, both meant to be sympathetic and understanding, and holding him back in equal measure.]

 

"I think I just distinctly said we have a goddamn problem networking won't solve," says Alex, "and that's a genocidal alien fleet parked outside of our system that the President thinks is here to make friends. Sure dude, there's absolutely problems networking won't fix, but enough discernment to tell the difference might do you a world of good."

"Because he's an interdimensional physicist and he wasn't trying to provide you with 'intel'. He was trying to explain to you the very simple concept that not every dimension is equally accessible to all the others, even if you can travel between them. My brother gets the math and I don't, but seriously, that is not so freaking hard."

 

[uses hand powers to obnoxiously indicate his middle fingers]

MAN, I'D LOVE TO HELP YOU WITH THE CONDESCE, IF "ENTIRELY DIFFERENT UNIVERSES" WASN'T AN EVER-PRESENT PROBLEM, BUT. WE BEAT HER WITH GOD POWERS, MOSTLY, I THINK? SHE'S NOT IMMUNE TO THE MYTHICAL ART OF STABS, IF THAT HELPS

[karkat is unfazed by the Batglare and continues ranting]

THAT'S RICH! WHEN IT COMES TO *OUR* UNIVERSE, *MY* PEOPLE? NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. YOU COULDN'T DIMENSION-HOP HERE ANYWAY, SO IF YOU COULD *STOP* WITH THE OMINOUS POSTURING ABOUT THINGS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, THAT WOULD BE GREAT

 

"That was uncomfortably evocative," Ford says, and then laughs. "You might do better with temporal physics."

Ford groans. "What she said. I'm not the spymaster. That's Carla, in Gravity Falls, and Geth, in Dimension 25." He waves to Angeth, who has been listening quietly while helping herself to the booze which is still there even though Jordi is not, because so many people still want it to be.

 

Fine, suit yourself.
[He would definitely find a way to monitor that dimension somehow. He was Batman after all. Maybe he could call in a favor from one of the lanterns? Or call up the Flash, maybe. Hm.]

 

Who's the guy in the fetish outfit?

 

If you're talking about me, this isn't even the worst I've worn, missy. Plus I'd like to see the fetish outfit that contained hitech gadgets and kevlar.

 

So you're like a tech-gimp?

 

"I might be able to get there if I can get the whispers to show me the way. I just hate when I have to go through 'em. They fuck with my head less than they do other people's heads, but there was still that one time I turned black and left trails of dark matter around for a week."

Angeth waves back at Ford, amused as hell. She's not about to jump into the argument part of this, not while she still isn't sure who half of these people are or where they have come from.