shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

"Sometimes he sounds like Gwendolyn sounded the first time she came back from Reed, but there's something missing."

 

On pre-war Cybertron it would have been; modern populations among both Autobots and Decepticons skew significantly younger due to death rates and lack of large-scale production ability past approximately ninth cycle 2050.

Acknowledged.

No current animosity is held towards Lissa.

Reference not recognized.

 

Ehn? But everyone on the TEAM treats me weird when they find out! The person closest to age is Triage, and he's like... 100,000.

 

Too many variables to form any viable theories.

 

Yeah...

But, lemme think. Thunderwing is only 1,000 or so, right? So him and his old swarm and the other swarms skew stuff a lot downward even with Cybertron where you ran out of hot spots. But then there's the problem of FOUR MILLION YEAR WAR, and the casualties there. So... I'm guessing the life expectancy skewed down, too?

-She climbs up on the table near Wires.-

 

[The table is mysteriously larger, flatter, and less ornate; the gummies have vanished entirely.]
Correct.

 

And then you've got the scrapheaps trying to insist that no, the ones that are certain frame types aren't really PEOPLE and don't statistically count. But they do. Hm. So are most of the Cybertronians alive right now from during the war? I wonder what percentage the NAILs are, a lot of them would have left before the war really got going but there's always defectors. Do you know?

 

-waves- Hi! I missed you last time. I'm Static.

 

Large percentages of both Autobot and Decepticon forces were constructed after the official beginning of the war. Neutral Cybertronians, having for the most part intentionally concealed themselves from both sides of the war, are largely missing from databanks; census information from New Iacon either does not exist or is not currently public. Extant Decepticon deserters skew towards older mechanisms, generally citing disillusionment upon interrogation, but their life expectancy is, naturally, shortened quite drastically once they officially cast off the badge. I am not currently in possession of Autobot desertion demographic information.

 

Hi, are you static or is your name Static?

 

[An Afterglow appears, as if summoned by pedantic debate and infodumping! He immediately sits on Wiretap, looping an arm around the smaller mech's shoulders and toying with the first face-prong that comes into reach.] Feed me.

 

Afterglow! Hi! Your hubby knows a lot!

 

My name is Static, but it's because I can do this- -they turn around a tablet so Josh can see and the program glitches, crashes, and the screen statics over- -with my brain.

 

?????
[What is this. Why is someone sitting on him. What is he supposed to feed him with. How is he supposed to feed anyone when his arms are occupied holding them.]
I don't-- I can't--

'Glow?

 

Oh. Like hacking, but more direct? I'm good at cryptography and hacking.

 

Hello, Lacuna. Yes, he does, but too many questions at once can be overwhelming. Would you mind pausing your lesson for a moment?

That is part of my name, yes, good job. Do you have hands yet, darling?

 

Oh. Uh. Am I in trouble?

-She droops.-

 

...no. You have my hands.

 

Yeah! Cool thing is I don't need a way in- a back door or anything. As long as it's complicated enough I can synch with it! Gives me headaches sometimes; after we fought the Angel I slept for almost a week..

You guys do a lot of your work through the internet, yeah? I just discovered the internet a few weeks ago! It's not really a thing in my world anymore and the Coalition has no interest in bringing it back since it'd mean free information and it's illegal to be literate. -do they look a bit salty about that? Yes. Yes they do.-

 

Not at all. He just needs to calm down a bit and take a break to ventilate properly. May I know what you were discussing?

So I do! I'll just stay here, then, until you can take them back. [He resettles a little, resting his chin on top of Wiretap's head. He isn't trapping Wires' hands at all; one arm is across their laps, the other curled around Afterglow's waist.]