shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

-he laughs-
Hey, Batman needs a foil. Sounds like the kid's got that part of the job down.

Lame. Can you steal them and make a copy?

-he doesn't say anything, but he starts watching Dick very closely. Finally, something that can be independently verified.-

 

-now this one is a puzzler for sure. He's not entirely certain what a research position even is. He considers.-
I don't know. I know FF likes fuel. But not fuel from corpses.

-more considering. intense considering. it's tempting-
People get in trouble for taking things that aren't theirs.

 

*Maximum purrs, stretches out and purrs louder. This is a Very Happy Person.*

 

Only if they get caught. That's why you make a copy; so they don't know it got taken.

 

[Vector nods approvingly. Yes, children, do Science, question everything!]

 

-stare. cogitation. he doesn't have much in the way of a moral framework already present and his attempts to build his own have been spotty. the squishy with smooth face plating makes a compelling point-
I could do that.

 

There you go, problem solved.

 

He keeps snarking that a fun Batman doesn't work. That's not being a foil, that's being mean on purpose.

[The tests all return no problems whatsoever. It also looks and smells like cheesesteak. Mh. He considers for a moment longer... but even if his instruments are part of the illusion he won't find out discrepancies unless he tries to eat this.
He takes a moderate bite without hesitation. It... tastes just like cheesesteak, feels like it in his mouth too. In fact he could have sworn this is exactly the kind he used to get from that one place near the Titans Tower...]

Pretty sure there's probbaly research into fuel stuff too, at least somewhere.

Yeah this. Just be quick and make sure you put everythign back where you found it.

 

-brightens considerably. Squishies have good ideas, it turns out-
I can do that. -pauses, remembers that he has had some lessons on things called manners- Thank you?

...FF will like that. I will tell FF about it. If he goes to research fuel I will go with him.

 

[He grins]
Good luck.

 

-Dick is probably the only one close enough to hear his stomach grumble, but the helmet doesn't filter out all smells and he has no idea how long he's been in the supervillain trap. Although it looks like they're supposed to be content here, so he'll keep acting like he doesn't know it's a trap in hopes something will slip to help him get out of here.-

-the helmet appears to grin somehow-
Oh, it was my pleasure.

 

[He bites back a sympathetic grin and holds the food out to Jason.]
Care to verify my observations, Hood? It seems to be perfectly ordinary food to me but maybe you will notice something I've missed.

 

[Vector is back to pocorn'ing. Interfering in the Cheesesteak Experiment can only make things worse, but he can watch. Not like there's anything else interesting going on right yet.]

 

-He hesitates when he goes to take off the helmet; maybe it's time for another experiment. He concentrates, and the helmet melts into a red cowl that leaves his mouth and chin free with the rest of his face still covered. He takes the sandwich and looks it over ostentatiously before taking a bite.-
Hmm. Seems fine to me too.
-His longing glance reveals that it's more than fine, but he hands it back to Dick and imagines up a chili dog. He checks his as well before beginning to eat.-

 

IT'S DIFFERENT BECAUSE I STOPPED TRYING!!! I--YOU CAN'T JUST--AUGHHHFFJDNFJSKSSFFJDFF

[karkat summons a pillow and yells into it before sending it back to the Abyss]

OK. COOL GUY KARKAT IS BACK. I AM
*****SSSSOOOOOOO*****
********CHILL********
I'M NOT ASKING YOU TO MAGICALLY COME TO TERMS WITH SOMETHING YOUR SPECIES WASN'T MADE FOR. I'M NOT. JUST, DUDE, FOR THE SAKE OF MY CONTINUED PUMPBISCUIT FUNCTION, CAN YOU LAY OFF ASKING PEOPLE TO KILL YOU?

I CANNOT FUCKING COPE WITH THE IDEA THAT EVENTUALLY, IT'LL BE JUST OR HEROIC. I HAVE HAD FUCKING PANIC ATTACKS IN PUBLIC WORRYING ABOUT YOU PERFORMING SOME "SICK STUNTZ" AND ENDING UP PERMADEAD. I *KNOW* YOU CAN FLY, ASSRAG, AND WILL PROBABLY NOT ACTUALLY BREAK YOUR NECK ON THAT AWFUL SKATEBOARD. I KNOW IT'S NOT THE MOST LOGICAL STATEMENT IN THE WORLD. BUT IT WOULD HELP A *TON* IF YOU DIDN'T TREAT DYING LIKE SOME FUN PASTIME

 

Lissa's stomach begins to rumble from the cheese steak smell.

She manifests a ginormous barely seared steak (on a plate) and some roasted asparagus, that being one of the few plants she likes eating. And the same for Ford; she's a terrible cook, and the rave is the only place where she can feed her husband to any extent greater than shooting the food and bringing it home.

It's delicious. She purrs between bites.

 

Ford glances at Mortuary, remembering this, and after he swallows his food, says: "If you tell the medics you were curious, and that's why you wanted to see the corpse, they might give you the texts and be glad to. At some point they must have been curious themselves...unless they weren't asked if they wanted to be medics, but even then, some of them must enjoy it."

 

Most of us weren't, in fact - I don't mind treating patients, but lab work was my first passion. However, I'm mostly reluctant to release my books freely among the crew because we have a large number of bots aboard who'd rather treat their own injuries with no training, and I'm afraid a textbook would just encourage them.

 

"Yes--it occurred to me halfway through that with functionalism, a lot of you might not have." Ford sighs. "I can understand where you're coming from, but you've got a couple of alternatives. You could set up classes for people--especially young people and members of groups who weren't offered these kinds of opportunities before, like insectformers for example, who show a sincere interest in anatomy and medicine and might want to become medics themselves--if you haven't already, of course. You could also disseminate information to specific persons who request it on the condition that they come in for regular checkups. Organic societies also have people who insist on treating themselves for their own illnesses and injuries."

 

assumin i asked for the sweet embrace of death prolly not

[dave's face might as well be made of stone for all he's emoting, but he does put a hand on karkat's shoulder]

man
i dont want to scare you
you know im all about keeping panic attacks from not happening i hate that shit and i hate that i might be making you hyperventilate in walmart or some bs
i just
its like

[dave pinches the bridge of his nose]

i just have a really hard time getting it
because i try to switch our places and i sorta get it but then its like well you wouldnt come back so its totally different

ill try to be less desperately begging for an offing though
i can do that
if only because im going to extend your suffering on this mortal coil as long as possible